Kiddushin: Difference between revisions
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# Many poskim hold that there is no concern if the two mother-in-laws have the same name. It is only a concern for two father-in-laws with the same name.<ref>Otzar Haposkim 2:19 quoting Avnei Tzedek, Rav Chaim Palagi, and Shulchan Haezer as lenient. Sdei Chemed argues that it is based on ayin hara and applies equally to women. </ref> | # Many poskim hold that there is no concern if the two mother-in-laws have the same name. It is only a concern for two father-in-laws with the same name.<ref>Otzar Haposkim 2:19 quoting Avnei Tzedek, Rav Chaim Palagi, and Shulchan Haezer as lenient. Sdei Chemed argues that it is based on ayin hara and applies equally to women. </ref> | ||
===Daughter-in-Law Same Name As Mother-in-Law or Son-in-Law Like Father-in-Law=== | ===Daughter-in-Law Same Name As Mother-in-Law or Son-in-Law Like Father-in-Law=== | ||
#Rabbi Yehuda Hachasid advised that a woman not marry a man whose mother's name is like her name. Similarly, a man should not marry a woman whose father's name is like his name.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7</ref> Some are only concerned for a wife and mother-in-law having the same name and not concerned for a man and a father-in-law having the same name.<Ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 20) quoting Arizal and Divrei Chayim</ref> Reasons suggested for this are ayin hara,<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Chida on Sefer Hachasidim n. 477</ref> in order to be able to fulfill kibbud av v'em by naming one's child after one's parent after they pass away,<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Maharil 17</ref> or so that the wife doesn't call her husband by his first name in front of her father sharing that same name.<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Even Harosha. In n. 4 Tirosh Vyitzhar is quoted as holding that if he doesn't call his wife by her name and instead by rebbetzin it is fine even if her name is like his mother's name.</ref> | #Rabbi Yehuda Hachasid advised that a woman not marry a man whose mother's name is like her name. Similarly, a man should not marry a woman whose father's name is like his name.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7</ref> Some are only concerned for a wife and mother-in-law having the same name and not concerned for a man and a father-in-law having the same name.<Ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 20) quoting Arizal and Divrei Chayim</ref> Reasons suggested for this are ayin hara,<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Chida on Sefer Hachasidim n. 477</ref> in order to be able to fulfill kibbud av v'em by naming one's child after one's parent after they pass away,<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Maharil 17</ref> or so that the wife doesn't call her husband by his first name in front of her father sharing that same name.<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 3) quoting Even Harosha. In n. 4 Tirosh Vyitzhar is quoted as holding that if he doesn't call his wife by her name and instead by rebbetzin it is fine even if her name is like his mother's name.</ref> Some poskim hold that Rabbi Yehuda Hachasid only meant it for his descendants and it isn't halachically binding.<Ref>Nodeh Beyehuda 2:79 cited by Pitchei Teshuva YD 116:6, Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 5) quotes Shev Yakov who agrees.</ref> | ||
#It is permitted for one of them to change their name to avoid this issue.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7 quotes that the Chatom Sofer switched someone's name to avoid this issue.</ref> | #It is permitted for one of them to change their name to avoid this issue.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7 quotes that the Chatom Sofer switched someone's name to avoid this issue.</ref> | ||
#There are many leniencies: | #There are many leniencies: | ||
##If they go by different names even if their real names are the same is fine.<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 1) quoting Sheilat Shalom, Maharsham, Makor Chesed, and Zichron Yehuda.</ref> | ##If they go by different names even if their real names are the same is fine.<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 1) quoting Sheilat Shalom, Maharsham, Makor Chesed, and Zichron Yehuda.</ref> | ||
## It is worthwhile to marry into a Torah family and not be concerned with the names being the same.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7 quoting Chatom Sofer is lenient in order to marry into a Torah family as long as the names of the son, father, and | ## It is worthwhile to marry into a Torah family and not be concerned with the names being the same.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 2:7 quoting Chatom Sofer is lenient in order to marry into a Torah family as long as the names of the father-in-law, son-in-law, and son-in-law's son-in-law aren't the same.</ref> | ||
##If one has a name and the other has a double name, some poskim hold that it isn't an issue. For example, if one is Leib and the other is Yakov Leib it isn't an issue.<ref>Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 6) quoting Maharsham 5:28 based on Imrei Esh, Haflah, and Shem Aryeh</ref> | |||
## Some are lenient as long as the names of three generations, namely the father-in-law, son-in-law, and son-in-law's son-in-law aren't the same.<ref>Chachmat Adam 123:13 cited by Otzar Haposkim (siman 2, Tzvat R' Yehuda Hachasid n. 6). Otzar Haposkim quotes several poskim who agree and some who disagree with this leniency.</ref> | |||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
