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Kiddushin: Difference between revisions
From Halachipedia
→Giving the Ring and Saying Harei At Mekudeshet Li
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One can technically use any item that is worth a perutah (25 mg of silver according to Shiurei Torah (3:42)). Although [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/media/Syrian_Sephardic_Wedding_Guide.pdf Rabbi Eli Mansour Syrian Sephardic Wedding Guide] writes that the practice in the Syrian community is to use an actual coin (in which case you would say בכספא הדין instead of בטבעת זו), Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:14) writes that the common practice is to use a ring. HaNesuin Kihilchatam 7:5 agrees. The Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah 554) adds that a reason to use a ring is so that it should serve as a reminder to her always of her marriage. See Yalkut Yosef for mystical and other reasons.</ref> | One can technically use any item that is worth a perutah (25 mg of silver according to Shiurei Torah (3:42)). Although [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/media/Syrian_Sephardic_Wedding_Guide.pdf Rabbi Eli Mansour Syrian Sephardic Wedding Guide] writes that the practice in the Syrian community is to use an actual coin (in which case you would say בכספא הדין instead of בטבעת זו), Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:14) writes that the common practice is to use a ring. HaNesuin Kihilchatam 7:5 agrees. The Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah 554) adds that a reason to use a ring is so that it should serve as a reminder to her always of her marriage. See Yalkut Yosef for mystical and other reasons.</ref> | ||
# Immediately after reciting the beracha on the wine and the Birkat Erusin,<ref> This is the position brought in Shulchan Aruch E.H. 34:1 because the Rif (Shu"t 293) and Rambam (Hilchot Ishut 3:23) hold that the Birkat Erusin is a birkat hamitzva. Therefore, it must be made [[over le’asiyatan]], before the Kiddushin. Otherwise, it would be a [[beracha levatala]]. Ramban Pesachim 7b s.v. vha agrees with the Rambam. Rabbenu Tam (Pesachim 7a s.v. Biliva’er) and other Rishonim argue that it is a birkat hashevach and should be recited after the Kiddushin. Tosfot HaRash Mshantz Pesachim 7a s.v. bilaver and Rashba Ketubot 7b agree. Although the opinion of the Rosh is subject to debate, the Beit Yosef (EH 34:1b) assumes that the Rosh holds like the Rif.</ref> the chattan should recite ”הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל”<ref>Sefer Hamakneh (Kuntres Acharon 27:3) writes that you should be careful to recite the full “harei at” before placing the ring on her finger. Haisuin Kihilchatam 7:38 and Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:8) agree. If one gave the ring before reciting the “harei at” they should give the ring again after reciting it. Yabia Omer EH 2:5:3 concludes that the same ring can be used the second time. See also Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz (Ten Minute Halacha: Saying Harei at Mekudeshes After Giving the Ring)</ref> and put the ring on the finger of the kallah in the presence of two valid witnesses.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:1). According to many authorities, the witnesses must see the chatan place the ring on the kallah's finger (Shu”t HaRashba 1:780, Rama EH 42:4). Although [https://www.sefaria.org/Responsa_Chatam_Sofer%2C_Even_HaEzer.1.100.1?lang=bi Chatom Sofer EH 100] rules that this is not essential, the accepted practice is to be certain that the witnesses see the actual placing of the ring on the kallah's finger (Pitchei Teshuvah EH 42:12, Hanishuin Kihilchatam 8:12).</ref> | # Immediately after reciting the beracha on the wine and the Birkat Erusin,<ref> This is the position brought in Shulchan Aruch E.H. 34:1 because the Rif (Shu"t 293) and Rambam (Hilchot Ishut 3:23) hold that the Birkat Erusin is a birkat hamitzva. Therefore, it must be made [[over le’asiyatan]], before the Kiddushin. Otherwise, it would be a [[beracha levatala]]. Ramban Pesachim 7b s.v. vha agrees with the Rambam. Rabbenu Tam (Pesachim 7a s.v. Biliva’er) and other Rishonim argue that it is a birkat hashevach and should be recited after the Kiddushin. Tosfot HaRash Mshantz Pesachim 7a s.v. bilaver and Rashba Ketubot 7b agree. Although the opinion of the Rosh is subject to debate, the Beit Yosef (EH 34:1b) assumes that the Rosh holds like the Rif.</ref> the chattan should recite ”הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל”<ref>Sefer Hamakneh (Kuntres Acharon 27:3) writes that you should be careful to recite the full “harei at” before placing the ring on her finger. Haisuin Kihilchatam 7:38 and Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:8) agree. If one gave the ring before reciting the “harei at” they should give the ring again after reciting it. Yabia Omer EH 2:5:3 concludes that the same ring can be used the second time. See also Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz (Ten Minute Halacha: Saying Harei at Mekudeshes After Giving the Ring)</ref> and put the ring on the finger of the kallah in the presence of two valid witnesses.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:7:1). According to many authorities, the witnesses must see the chatan place the ring on the kallah's finger (Shu”t HaRashba 1:780, Rama EH 42:4). Although [https://www.sefaria.org/Responsa_Chatam_Sofer%2C_Even_HaEzer.1.100.1?lang=bi Chatom Sofer EH 100] rules that this is not essential, the accepted practice is to be certain that the witnesses see the actual placing of the ring on the kallah's finger (Pitchei Teshuvah EH 42:12, Hanishuin Kihilchatam 8:12).</ref> | ||
# If he gave her the ring before saying the statement, she should return the ring and do it again correctly.<ref>Maggid Mishna (Ishut 3:8) quotes the Rashba who writes that if a man gives a woman money or a ring for kiddushin but doesn't say anything it is invalid even if he says afterwards hari at. Knesset Hegedola (Hagahot Hatur EH 28:37) quotes this. He writes that the solution is for the woman to hand the money or ring back to the man, then the man should say hari at, and then give the money or ring back to the woman. | # If he gave her the ring before saying the statement, she should return the ring and do it again correctly.<ref>Maggid Mishna (Ishut 3:8) quotes the Rashba who writes that if a man gives a woman money or a ring for kiddushin but doesn't say anything it is invalid even if he says afterwards hari at. Knesset Hegedola (Hagahot Hatur EH 28:37) quotes this. He writes that the solution is for the woman to hand the money or ring back to the man, then the man should say hari at, and then give the money or ring back to the woman. This is implied as well by Rama 27:3. Yalkut Yosef (Sovah Semachot 1:7:8) writes that it is important to say the hari at before giving the ring otherwise it is like getting married with a loan which is ineffective. If this happened he should take back the ring, say the hari at, and then give her the ring again. Yabia Omer EH 2:5:3 proves from Rama 27:3 that it is enough to just repeat the hari at and give the ring again and not to have to use a new ring. Rabbi Mordechai Willig (4th Year Halacha Hilchos Ishut 5) agrees that if he gave the ring first he should take it back and repeat it. Once the chatan said the words “hari at mikudeshet li” even though he didn’t finish the whole phrase the chatan should take back the ring and do it again. </ref><ref>Yalkut Yosef (Sovah Semachot 1:7:8) writes that it is important to say the hari at before giving the ring otherwise it is like getting married with a loan which is ineffective. If this happened he should take back the ring, say the hari at, and then give her the ring again. Yabia Omer EH 2:5:3 proves from Rama 27:3 that it is enough to just repeat the hari at and give the ring again and not to have to use a new ring. Rabbi Mordechai Willig (4th Year Halacha Hilchos Ishut 5) agrees that if he gave the ring first he should take it back and repeat it. Once the chatan said the words “hari at mikudeshet li” even though he didn’t finish the whole phrase the chatan should take back the ring and do it again. | ||
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