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Yom Kippur: Difference between revisions
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# If one has money which is disputed and can be claimed by someone else even if that other claimant doesn't know one should tell them and then settle the dispute with the local Rabbi. In monetary matters one must not rely on one's own judgement because the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) fabricates many justifications. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 606:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 78), Chazon Ovadyah (pg 240) </ref> | # If one has money which is disputed and can be claimed by someone else even if that other claimant doesn't know one should tell them and then settle the dispute with the local Rabbi. In monetary matters one must not rely on one's own judgement because the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) fabricates many justifications. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 606:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 78), Chazon Ovadyah (pg 240) </ref> | ||
# Children have a holy obligation to ask forgiveness from their parents because of Kibbud Av VeEm (respecting one's parents). Similarly, spouses should forgive one another. A student should ask forgiveness from his Rebbe if he lives in the city. <ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S"A 606:11) </ref> | # Children have a holy obligation to ask forgiveness from their parents because of Kibbud Av VeEm (respecting one's parents). Similarly, spouses should forgive one another. A student should ask forgiveness from his Rebbe if he lives in the city. <ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S"A 606:11) </ref> | ||
# It's forbidden to be cruel and not forgive but rather in one's heart one should completely forgive him for the offense. Even if it pained it intently one should not take revenge or harbor a grudge. <ref>Rama 606:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 80), Chazon Ovadyah (pg 243) </ref> If one forgiving Hashem will forgive his sins, however, if a man is stubborn and doesn't forgive Hashem will act accordingly (Chas VeShalom). <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:8 quoting the gemara [[Rosh Hashana]] 17a </ref> | # It's forbidden to be cruel and not forgive but rather in one's heart one should completely forgive him for the offense. Even if it pained it intently one should not take revenge or harbor a grudge. <ref>Rama 606:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 80), Chazon Ovadyah (pg 243), Aruch Hashulchan 606:2. In Shaar ha-Tziyun 606:8 he writes that one who forgives receives forgiveness from Hashem, measure for measure. Mateh Efrayim 606:4 says that one who in unwilling to forgive is potentially preventing his prayers from reaching the heavens. Rambam Hilchot Teshuva 2:10 compares one who is unwilling to forgive to the hard-heartened gentiles. </ref> If one forgiving Hashem will forgive his sins, however, if a man is stubborn and doesn't forgive Hashem will act accordingly (Chas VeShalom). <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:8 quoting the gemara [[Rosh Hashana]] 17a </ref> | ||
# If a person who offended his fellow and asks forgiveness the friend shouldn't reject the appeasement unless it is intended for the benefit of the one who did the offense so that he is humbled and doesn't continue by doing that offense. <ref>Rama 606:1 </ref>Nonetheless, if one is not granted forgiveness for the benefit of the offender one must be sure to remove any hate of the offender from one's heart. <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:9 </ref> | # If a person who offended his fellow and asks forgiveness the friend shouldn't reject the appeasement unless it is intended for the benefit of the one who did the offense so that he is humbled and doesn't continue by doing that offense. <ref>Rama 606:1 </ref>Nonetheless, if one is not granted forgiveness for the benefit of the offender one must be sure to remove any hate of the offender from one's heart. <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:9 </ref> | ||
# If a person spread a bad name about someone else it is permitted not to forgive that person, however, it's preferable to be humble and forgive even in such a case <ref> Rama 606:1, Mishna Brurah 606:11 </ref> except for a Talmid Chacham who should not forgive easily (in such a case) especially when it's done for the benefit of the the offender to change from his ways. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (pg 243) </ref> | # If one suspects that the person asking forgiveness from him will just repeat the wrong that he did to him, he isn't obligated to forgive him. <ref> Mishnah Berurah 606:10 </ref> | ||
# If a person spread a bad name about someone else it is permitted not to forgive that person, however, it's preferable to be humble and forgive even in such a case <ref> Rama 606:1, Mishna Brurah 606:11. Aruch ha-Shulchan 606:2 writes that if it isn't possible that some of the people who heard the slander will not hear the retraction, then one is obligated to forgive. </ref> except for a Talmid Chacham who should not forgive easily (in such a case) especially when it's done for the benefit of the the offender to change from his ways. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (pg 243) </ref> | |||
# If one is owed money but the borrower refuses to pay, then the lender doesn't need to forgive him. <ref> Rambam Hilchot Teshuvah 2:9. </ref> | |||
# If a person said Lashon Hara about his fellow and it didn't cause any harm there is no need to ask forgiveness from that person, but still must get forgiveness from Hashem. <ref> Chofetz Chaim Hilchot Lashon Hara 4:12. </ref> | # If a person said Lashon Hara about his fellow and it didn't cause any harm there is no need to ask forgiveness from that person, but still must get forgiveness from Hashem. <ref> Chofetz Chaim Hilchot Lashon Hara 4:12. </ref> | ||
# If a person said Lashon Hara (evil speech) about his fellow and his fellow doesn't know about it some say that one should just ask forgiveness from his fellow in a general way and not spell out that he said Lashon Hara against him, however, others say that one specify that one did speak Lashon Hara about him. <ref> Shalmei Moad (pg 56) and Moadim u'Zmanim 1:54 quote Rav Yisrael Salanter who says that if one spoke Lashon Hara about one's fellow and he doesn't know about it that one should just ask forgiveness in a general way, while the Chafetz Chaim 4:12 argues that one must specify that one spoke Lashon Hara. However, if specifying what the Lashon Hara was will embarrass the victim, he writes in Mishnah Berurah 606:3 that the speaker doesn't need to elaborate about what he said. Yalkut Yosef 606:16 rules like Rav Yisrael Salanter </ref> | # If a person said Lashon Hara (evil speech) about his fellow and his fellow doesn't know about it some say that one should just ask forgiveness from his fellow in a general way and not spell out that he said Lashon Hara against him, however, others say that one specify that one did speak Lashon Hara about him. <ref> Shalmei Moad (pg 56) and Moadim u'Zmanim 1:54 quote Rav Yisrael Salanter who says that if one spoke Lashon Hara about one's fellow and he doesn't know about it that one should just ask forgiveness in a general way, while the Chafetz Chaim 4:12 argues that one must specify that one spoke Lashon Hara. However, if specifying what the Lashon Hara was will embarrass the victim, he writes in Mishnah Berurah 606:3 that the speaker doesn't need to elaborate about what he said. Yalkut Yosef 606:16 rules like Rav Yisrael Salanter </ref> | ||
# Preferably the asking of forgiveness should be done in person unless there is a better chance of having the person accept your grant if done through a messenger. <ref> Mishnah Berurah 606:2 </ref> | # Preferably the asking of forgiveness should be done in person unless there is a better chance of having the person accept your grant if done through a messenger. <ref> Mishnah Berurah 606:2 </ref> | ||
# If you are sure that the person that you offended has forgiven you some poskim nevertheless require that you go and humble yourself before them and ask for forgiveness while and other poskim say that you have achieved the desired result and there is no need to go ask specifically. <ref> Devar Yehoshua 5:20 says that's enough while Moadim U'zmanim 1:55 quotes poskim that you still need to ask. see also Pele Yoetz on Teshuvah and Hirhurei Teshuvah, pg. 123. </ref> | # If you are sure that the person that you offended has forgiven you some poskim nevertheless require that you go and humble yourself before them and ask for forgiveness while and other poskim say that you have achieved the desired result and there is no need to go ask specifically. <ref> Devar Yehoshua 5:20 says that's enough while Moadim U'zmanim 1:55 quotes poskim that you still need to ask. see also Pele Yoetz on Teshuvah and Hirhurei Teshuvah, pg. 123. </ref> | ||
# If one received forgiveness only outwardly but in his heart the person he offended is still upset some poskim say he hasn't fulfilled his obligation of asking for forgiveness. <ref> Rav Elyashiv quoted in Torat ha'adam li'adam 3:page 36, Alei Shur 2: page 240. On the other hand, Rav Reuven Grozovsky quotes the Alter of Kelm in Sefer hazikaron Even Tzion page 542 that one has fulfilled his obligation. </ref> | |||
===Tevilah=== | ===Tevilah=== | ||
# Some have the practice to dip (Tovel) in the mikvah on Erev Yom Kippur and it's preferable to do so before Mincha but some have the practice to do it after Seuda Mafseket as long as one does it before nighttime. <ref>S"A 606:4, Mishna | # Some have the practice to dip (Tovel) in the mikvah on Erev Yom Kippur and it's preferable to do so before Mincha but some have the practice to do it after Seuda Mafseket as long as one does it before nighttime. <ref>S"A 606:4, Mishna Brurah 606:17-8 </ref> Some say that one should does it after 5 halachic hours into the day but if one is unable one may do it after [[Olot HaShachar]] (dawn). <ref>Yalkut Yosef 606:4(1) </ref> | ||
# Some say that submerging oneself in the mikvah once is sufficient and some say three times. <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:21 </ref> | # Some say that submerging oneself in the mikvah once is sufficient and some say three times. <ref>Mishna Brurah 606:21 </ref> | ||
# No bracha is made for this tevilah. <ref>S"A 606:4 </ref> | # No bracha is made for this tevilah. <ref>S"A 606:4 </ref> | ||
