Yichud: Difference between revisions
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*Does the prohibition of yichud include a concern of rape or just seduction? Igrot Moshe 4:65:19 writes that yichud was instituted for seduction or mutual consent and not rape. | *Does the prohibition of yichud include a concern of rape or just seduction? Igrot Moshe 4:65:19 writes that yichud was instituted for seduction or mutual consent and not rape. | ||
*Is there a concern that if a man and woman currently aren't in a state of yichud that they will move into a state of yichud such as with a car since they might drive to a deserted alley? Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2-3 is concerned for this. He says that this seems to be the dispute between Rabbenu Yerucham and Maharshal in Bet Shmuel 22:9 and we follow the Maharshal.</ref> | *Is there a concern that if a man and woman currently aren't in a state of yichud that they will move into a state of yichud such as with a car since they might drive to a deserted alley? Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2-3 is concerned for this. He says that this seems to be the dispute between Rabbenu Yerucham and Maharshal in Bet Shmuel 22:9 and we follow the Maharshal.</ref> | ||
# It is rabbinically forbidden for a man to seclude with two women.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 22:1 quotes Chovat Yair that yichud deoritta is limited to one man and one woman, but one man with two women is only rabbinic.</ref> | #It is rabbinically forbidden for a man to seclude with two women.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 22:1 quotes Chovat Yair that yichud deoritta is limited to one man and one woman, but one man with two women is only rabbinic.</ref> | ||
===Multiple Men and Women=== | ===Multiple Men and Women=== | ||
#It is permitted for many men and women to be secluded together.<ref>Shulchan Aruch EH 22:6</ref> What constitutes many men and many women? Some poskim write that only if there's 3 men and 3 women,<ref>Birkei Yosef EH 22:3, Pitchei Teshuva 22:5, Chelkat Mechokek EH 22:6 based on the Maggid Mishna but himself questions it. Bet Shmuel 22:8 writes that "many women" means 3 but he doesn't explain what "many men" means.</ref> some say 2 men and 3 women,<ref>Chachmat Adam 126:3 based on Bet Shmuel 22:8</ref> and some say 2 men and 2 women constitute many men and many women.<ref>Bach 22</ref> The poskim are generally strict to consider it 3 men and 3 women.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:15</ref> | #It is permitted for many men and women to be secluded together.<ref>Shulchan Aruch EH 22:6</ref> What constitutes many men and many women? Some poskim write that only if there's 3 men and 3 women,<ref>Birkei Yosef EH 22:3, Pitchei Teshuva 22:5, Chelkat Mechokek EH 22:6 based on the Maggid Mishna but himself questions it. Bet Shmuel 22:8 writes that "many women" means 3 but he doesn't explain what "many men" means.</ref> some say 2 men and 3 women,<ref>Chachmat Adam 126:3 based on Bet Shmuel 22:8</ref> and some say 2 men and 2 women constitute many men and many women.<ref>Bach 22</ref> The poskim are generally strict to consider it 3 men and 3 women.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:15</ref> | ||
# If the men are involved with inappropriate activities (פרוצים), then it is forbidden even if there are multiple men and women there.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 22:6 citing Birkei Yosef. This is also suggested by Chelkat Mechokek 22:9 and Bet Shmuel 22:11.</ref> | #If the men are involved with inappropriate activities (פרוצים), then it is forbidden even if there are multiple men and women there.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 22:6 citing Birkei Yosef. This is also suggested by Chelkat Mechokek 22:9 and Bet Shmuel 22:11.</ref> | ||
====One man with multiple women==== | ====One man with multiple women==== | ||
#According to Ashkenazim, some permit one man to seclude with 3 or more women unless in profession he deals with women.<ref>Rama E.H. 22:5</ref> | #According to Ashkenazim, some permit one man to seclude with 3 or more women unless in profession he deals with women.<ref>Rama E.H. 22:5</ref> | ||
#According to Sephardim, one man may not be secluded with multiple women.<ref>Yalkut Yosef Hilchot Ishut EH Siman 22:10. According to Yam Shel Shlomo (Kiddushin Siman 20) and Sh"t Maharsham 3:152, one man with two women is a biblical prohibition. Sh"t Chavot Yair 73 holds it is only rabbinically forbidden. See also Sh"t HaRashba 1:587.</ref> | #According to Sephardim, one man may not be secluded with multiple women.<ref>Yalkut Yosef Hilchot Ishut EH Siman 22:10. According to Yam Shel Shlomo (Kiddushin Siman 20) and Sh"t Maharsham 3:152, one man with two women is a biblical prohibition. Sh"t Chavot Yair 73 holds it is only rabbinically forbidden. See also Sh"t HaRashba 1:587.</ref> | ||
====One woman with multiple men==== | ====One woman with multiple men==== | ||
#According to Ashkenazim, a woman may be secluded with two men.<ref>Rama E.H. 22:5</ref> According to Sephardim, this is forbidden.<ref>Shulchan Aruch E.H. 22:5, Yalkut Yosef Hilchot Ishut EH Siman 22:10</ | |||
#According to Ashkenazim, a woman may be secluded with two men, as long as the men are not ''prutzim''.<ref>Rama E.H. 22:5</ref> According to Sephardim, this is forbidden.<ref>Shulchan Aruch E.H. 22:5, Yalkut Yosef Hilchot Ishut EH Siman 22:10</ref> | |||
===Family Members=== | ===Family Members=== | ||
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====Mother, Daughter, or Sister Breaking Yichud==== | ====Mother, Daughter, or Sister Breaking Yichud==== | ||
# Most poskim assume that this leniency of having a very close relative such as one's wife isn't yichud and protects from yichud, applies also to one's mother, daughter, and sister as well. Therefore, if a man is in a room with his wife, mother, daughter or sister, and one other woman he does not violate the yichud prohibition. <ref>The Pitchei Teshuva EH 22:2 does not extend this Heter to one’s daughter (meaning a man, his daughter and another woman would violate Yichud), while Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 2:15 extends it to a daughter and in Iggerot Moshe 4:65:8 extends it to a mother, and sister as well. The Nitei Gavriel Yichud 40:1 follows Rav Moshe (and in footnote 1 quotes many others who do as well). </ref> Similarly, the minhag is to permit yichud for a grandchild with one's grandmother. Then even if there's another woman there it isn't yichud because of the presence of the grandmother.<ref>Rav Soloveitchik as cited in Nefesh Harav p. 256 was lenient about a man with his grandmother even though there was another one of his female cousins there since the man with his grandmother isn't yichud and the grandmother protects him from yichud with another woman. Rav Schachter comments that this is in accordance with Igrot Moshe EH 2:15.</ref> Sephardim are strict that there is yichud if there's another women with whom it is permitted to have yichud.<ref>The Chida in Yosef Ometz 26 writes that even though it is permitted to have yichud with one's mother it is certainly forbidden to have yichud with your mother and another women with whom yichud is forbidden. He explains that the only reason it is permitted to have yichud when one's wife is there is because she'll protect him from sin, whereas a mother won't. Minchat Ish 1:11:1 quotes the dispute between the Chida and Rav Chaim Palagi and is strict unless it is only derabbanan yichud. Gan Naul 12:2 is strict unless there is a situation of need in which case there is what to rely upon to be lenient. He cites that Rav Moshe Halevi and Chacham Ben Tzion Abba Shaul were strict on this issue.</ref> | #Most poskim assume that this leniency of having a very close relative such as one's wife isn't yichud and protects from yichud, applies also to one's mother, daughter, and sister as well. Therefore, if a man is in a room with his wife, mother, daughter or sister, and one other woman he does not violate the yichud prohibition. <ref>The Pitchei Teshuva EH 22:2 does not extend this Heter to one’s daughter (meaning a man, his daughter and another woman would violate Yichud), while Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 2:15 extends it to a daughter and in Iggerot Moshe 4:65:8 extends it to a mother, and sister as well. The Nitei Gavriel Yichud 40:1 follows Rav Moshe (and in footnote 1 quotes many others who do as well). </ref> Similarly, the minhag is to permit yichud for a grandchild with one's grandmother. Then even if there's another woman there it isn't yichud because of the presence of the grandmother.<ref>Rav Soloveitchik as cited in Nefesh Harav p. 256 was lenient about a man with his grandmother even though there was another one of his female cousins there since the man with his grandmother isn't yichud and the grandmother protects him from yichud with another woman. Rav Schachter comments that this is in accordance with Igrot Moshe EH 2:15.</ref> Sephardim are strict that there is yichud if there's another women with whom it is permitted to have yichud.<ref>The Chida in Yosef Ometz 26 writes that even though it is permitted to have yichud with one's mother it is certainly forbidden to have yichud with your mother and another women with whom yichud is forbidden. He explains that the only reason it is permitted to have yichud when one's wife is there is because she'll protect him from sin, whereas a mother won't. Minchat Ish 1:11:1 quotes the dispute between the Chida and Rav Chaim Palagi and is strict unless it is only derabbanan yichud. Gan Naul 12:2 is strict unless there is a situation of need in which case there is what to rely upon to be lenient. He cites that Rav Moshe Halevi and Chacham Ben Tzion Abba Shaul were strict on this issue.</ref> | ||
===Open to the Public=== | ===Open to the Public=== | ||
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====Neighbor with a Key==== | ====Neighbor with a Key==== | ||
# If a person asks a neighbor to come into his house at random times that works to void yichud. At night for this option to work some say it is necessary to have two neighbors to visit and some say that it doesn't work at all at night.<ref>Gan Naul 8:11. There he quotes Dvar Halacha p. 188 who says that giving a key to a neighbor and telling him to come and he actually comes is a heter of yichud. Rav Shternbuch in Teshuvot Vehanhagot 2:657:2 agrees. Gan Naul also quotes Rav Elyashiv (Kovetz Bet Hillel). Nitai Gavriel Yichud 5:6 advises giving the key to two neighbors. Teshuvot Vehanhagot 1:774 also mentions having two neighbors visit. Om Ani Choma CM 386 agrees. Nishmat Avraham 22:3 allows if the wife has a key. Gan Naul concludes with Rav Rasavi that if the neighbor doens't actually enter one should ask another neighbor.</ref> | |||
#If a person asks a neighbor to come into his house at random times that works to void yichud. At night for this option to work some say it is necessary to have two neighbors to visit and some say that it doesn't work at all at night.<ref>Gan Naul 8:11. There he quotes Dvar Halacha p. 188 who says that giving a key to a neighbor and telling him to come and he actually comes is a heter of yichud. Rav Shternbuch in Teshuvot Vehanhagot 2:657:2 agrees. Gan Naul also quotes Rav Elyashiv (Kovetz Bet Hillel). Nitai Gavriel Yichud 5:6 advises giving the key to two neighbors. Teshuvot Vehanhagot 1:774 also mentions having two neighbors visit. Om Ani Choma CM 386 agrees. Nishmat Avraham 22:3 allows if the wife has a key. Gan Naul concludes with Rav Rasavi that if the neighbor doens't actually enter one should ask another neighbor.</ref> | |||
====Apartment Buildings==== | ====Apartment Buildings==== | ||
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#If there is a window that makes the room visible from the street someone who is in front of that window is considered as though it is open to the public and there's no yichud. One condition for this to be applicable is that the window needs to be low enough that people from the street can easily see into the room normally. There are some poskim who hold that if the window is high enough that a person from the street could see in while walking on his tippy toes that is also considered open to the public, while others disagree.<ref>The Nodeh Beyehuda 1:71 writes that a window that is visible to the public is considered like the room is open to the public and there's no yichud. Otzar Haposkim 22:9:4 quotes the Maharsham Introduction to 2:76 who is lenient if you the window is high but can be seen from another house if someone in that other house were to stand on a chair, however, he isn't lenient with the same situation in the street. Gan Naul 8:18 rules like the Maharsham. Tzitz Eliezer 6:40:11:8 holds that a window permits yichud even if it is only possible to see in from the public while standing on one's tippy toes. Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2 seems like he is only lenient with a window if you can be seen normally and not that a person needs to get on his tippy toes. However, the Gan Naul ch. 8 fnt. 59 explains Igrot Moshe in accordance with the Maharsham.</ref> | #If there is a window that makes the room visible from the street someone who is in front of that window is considered as though it is open to the public and there's no yichud. One condition for this to be applicable is that the window needs to be low enough that people from the street can easily see into the room normally. There are some poskim who hold that if the window is high enough that a person from the street could see in while walking on his tippy toes that is also considered open to the public, while others disagree.<ref>The Nodeh Beyehuda 1:71 writes that a window that is visible to the public is considered like the room is open to the public and there's no yichud. Otzar Haposkim 22:9:4 quotes the Maharsham Introduction to 2:76 who is lenient if you the window is high but can be seen from another house if someone in that other house were to stand on a chair, however, he isn't lenient with the same situation in the street. Gan Naul 8:18 rules like the Maharsham. Tzitz Eliezer 6:40:11:8 holds that a window permits yichud even if it is only possible to see in from the public while standing on one's tippy toes. Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2 seems like he is only lenient with a window if you can be seen normally and not that a person needs to get on his tippy toes. However, the Gan Naul ch. 8 fnt. 59 explains Igrot Moshe in accordance with the Maharsham.</ref> | ||
##There are poskim who significantly limit the applicability of this leniency so that it is almost irrelevant. They explain that if the room has a corner or a place in it which isn't visible from the street through that window then the window isn't considered open to the public since there's a concern that a person will walk away from the window into the secluded area of that room.<ref>The Ezer Mkodesh 22:9 (cited by Otzar Haposkim 22:9:4) writes that if the room which the window is open to has a corner or secluded area which isn't visible from the window then the window doesn't permit anything since there's a concern that the man and woman will walk into that secluded area. The Bet Yitzchak Glick 3:220:2 and Misgeret Hashulchan 52:10 quote this.</ref> Furthermore, some poskim say that if the room which has a window is connected to another room that isn't open to the public then again there is no leniency by having a window the public since it is easy to walk away from the window into the other room.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2 writes that if the room in which there's a window is open to another room that isn't open to the public then yichud is prohibited even in front of the window. See the previous footnote for the explanation.</ref> Yet some poskim disagree with these last two conditions and hold that a window to the public permits yichud while one is visible to the public.<ref>Gan Naul 8:16 proves from the Nodeh Beyehuda and others that there is no concern that someone who is currently not in a state of yichud will enter into a state of yichud. As such he writes that standing in front of the window that is visible to the public undoes yichud even if it is easily possible to walk into a secluded area. Gan Naul quotes Rav Elyashiv as being lenient on a window in the room even if there are secluded parts of the room as long as one is in front of the window. Dvar Halacha 3:13 agreed.</ref> | ##There are poskim who significantly limit the applicability of this leniency so that it is almost irrelevant. They explain that if the room has a corner or a place in it which isn't visible from the street through that window then the window isn't considered open to the public since there's a concern that a person will walk away from the window into the secluded area of that room.<ref>The Ezer Mkodesh 22:9 (cited by Otzar Haposkim 22:9:4) writes that if the room which the window is open to has a corner or secluded area which isn't visible from the window then the window doesn't permit anything since there's a concern that the man and woman will walk into that secluded area. The Bet Yitzchak Glick 3:220:2 and Misgeret Hashulchan 52:10 quote this.</ref> Furthermore, some poskim say that if the room which has a window is connected to another room that isn't open to the public then again there is no leniency by having a window the public since it is easy to walk away from the window into the other room.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 4:65:2 writes that if the room in which there's a window is open to another room that isn't open to the public then yichud is prohibited even in front of the window. See the previous footnote for the explanation.</ref> Yet some poskim disagree with these last two conditions and hold that a window to the public permits yichud while one is visible to the public.<ref>Gan Naul 8:16 proves from the Nodeh Beyehuda and others that there is no concern that someone who is currently not in a state of yichud will enter into a state of yichud. As such he writes that standing in front of the window that is visible to the public undoes yichud even if it is easily possible to walk into a secluded area. Gan Naul quotes Rav Elyashiv as being lenient on a window in the room even if there are secluded parts of the room as long as one is in front of the window. Dvar Halacha 3:13 agreed.</ref> | ||
===Children=== | ===Children=== | ||
====Acting as a Shomer==== | ====Acting as a Shomer==== | ||
# If there is a child who is at the age that they understand what biya is and would be able to tell others if they saw something but aren't themselves at the age of biya then they can serve as a guard (shomer) for yichud. For example, a female maid left with two boys, one above the age of 9 and one that is 8 then the 8 year old is a guard (shomer) for the other child. The 9 year old would generally be forbidden in yichud with the maid, however, an 8 year old isn't obligated in yichud and is also old enough to be a shomer to prevent yichud.<ref>Gan Naul ch. 1 fnt. 51, Minchat Ish by Rav Shraga Ayal 10:2. Shevet Halevi 10:237 seems to allow it in cases of need.</ref> | |||
# A male that is below 9 can act as a shomer once they know what the idea of biya is and could tell others if they saw something suspicious, however, once they're above 9 they can't be used as a shomer since they are forbidden with yichud themselves. Some say that from the age of 7 or 8 can be used, each one according to their knowledge. Some say that in a case of need even a child from the age of 5 or 6 can be used. Some say that even a child above 9 until they are 13 can be used as a shomer.<ref>Minchat Ish by Rav Shraga Ayal 10:2</ref> | #If there is a child who is at the age that they understand what biya is and would be able to tell others if they saw something but aren't themselves at the age of biya then they can serve as a guard (shomer) for yichud. For example, a female maid left with two boys, one above the age of 9 and one that is 8 then the 8 year old is a guard (shomer) for the other child. The 9 year old would generally be forbidden in yichud with the maid, however, an 8 year old isn't obligated in yichud and is also old enough to be a shomer to prevent yichud.<ref>Gan Naul ch. 1 fnt. 51, Minchat Ish by Rav Shraga Ayal 10:2. Shevet Halevi 10:237 seems to allow it in cases of need.</ref> | ||
#A male that is below 9 can act as a shomer once they know what the idea of biya is and could tell others if they saw something suspicious, however, once they're above 9 they can't be used as a shomer since they are forbidden with yichud themselves. Some say that from the age of 7 or 8 can be used, each one according to their knowledge. Some say that in a case of need even a child from the age of 5 or 6 can be used. Some say that even a child above 9 until they are 13 can be used as a shomer.<ref>Minchat Ish by Rav Shraga Ayal 10:2</ref> | |||
==Specific Venues== | ==Specific Venues== | ||
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==Men secluding with other men== | ==Men secluding with other men== | ||
# Technically there is no prohibition of yichud for two men to be secluded in the same room since there is no concern that Jewish would violate the prohibition of mishkav zachur. However, it is praiseworthy to be strict to avoid seclusion of two men together.< | |||
# It is forbidden for two men to sleep in the same bed.<ref>Chelkat Mechokek 24:1, Bet Shmuel 24:1</ref> | #Technically there is no prohibition of yichud for two men to be secluded in the same room since there is no concern that Jewish would violate the prohibition of mishkav zachur. However, it is praiseworthy to be strict to avoid seclusion of two men together.<ref>Shulchan Aruch E.H. 24:1</ref> | ||
#It is forbidden for two men to sleep in the same bed.<ref>Chelkat Mechokek 24:1, Bet Shmuel 24:1</ref> | |||
==Links== | ==Links== | ||
