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Visiting the Sick: Difference between revisions
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# The primary aspects of visiting the sick are 1) to see what the sick person needs 2) to have his friends speak pleasantly with him 3) pray for his health. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3 </ref> | # The primary aspects of visiting the sick are 1) to see what the sick person needs 2) to have his friends speak pleasantly with him 3) pray for his health. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3 </ref> | ||
===Speaking to the sick person=== | ===Speaking to the sick person=== | ||
# If the sick person is lying on a bed the visitor may sit on a chair. <ref>Kitzur S”A 193:2 </ref> | # If the sick person is lying on a bed the visitor may sit on a chair. <ref>Kitzur S”A 193:2. The Shulchan Aruch Y"D 335:3 states that when visiting a sick person, one should not sit on a bed, chair, or bench, because the shechina rests over the head of the sick person. The Rama there notes however, that this is only necessary when the sick person is on the floor and the visitor will be higher than the sick person. If the sick person is lying on a bed one is permitted to sit on a chair or bench. This is the practice nowadays. (Yalkut Yosef Y"D Chelek 7 1:3,Aruch Hashulchan 335:7) </ref> One should not sit at the head of the bed of the sick person because the schechina rests over the sick person's head. <ref> This applies even if he is not sitting higher than the sick person. If the sick person is an adam beinoni (regular person) one should not sit at the foot of the bed because this is the place of the Angel of Death. If the person is a tzadik gammur (totally righteous person) then a person should only sit at the foot of the bed, because the shechina surrounds a tzadik on all sides but not near his feet. (Aruch Hashulchan 335:7 quoting the Zohar, Mourning in Halachah 1:23) </ref> | ||
# One should be sensible about which one speaks with the sick person specifically topics of life and not of death. <Ref>Kitzur S"A 193:5 </ref> | # One should be sensible about which one speaks with the sick person specifically topics of life and not of death. <Ref>Kitzur S"A 193:5 </ref> | ||
# If God forbid a relative of a sick person dies, we don't notify him of the death, lest it greatly hurt him psychologically and emotionally. We don't rip his shirt, we don't cry in front of him, we don't euologize in front of him, all so that we don't break his heart. We also silence anyone who comes to comfort him on the death. <ref>S"A Y"D 337:1 </ref> This applies even to the death of a parent for whom he is required to recite Kaddish. Even if he is capable of doing so, he should not be informed. <ref> (Mourning in Halachah 1:28 footnote 57) </ref> | |||
*If the sick person does find out, one should not tell him to do kri'ah, nor should they cry for or eulogize the deceased in front of the sick person, and they should prevent people who come from consoling the sick person. <ref> (Mourning in Halachah 1:28 footnote 58, 1:29 footnote 62) </ref> | |||
*These things apply even if the deceased is not a relative, and especially if the deceased is even a friend, because the news of the death of another may be detrimental to the sick person. <ref> Mourning in Halachah 1:28 footnote 59 </ref> | |||
*In these cases, if the news the sick person heard can be a significant detriment, it stands to reason one may lie and say the news is not true. <ref> Mourning in Halachah 1:29 footnote 61 </ref> | |||
*From these Halachot it can be inferred that there is a prohibition to cause a sick person sorrow. One must try to make the sick person happy and joyful. <ref> (Mourning in Halachah 1:29) </ref> | |||
# A sick person doesn't need to stand in honor of his visitors even if the prince enters, however, if he wants to be strict he is allowed. <ref>Rama YD 376:1, Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim pg 46) </ref> | # A sick person doesn't need to stand in honor of his visitors even if the prince enters, however, if he wants to be strict he is allowed. <ref>Rama YD 376:1, Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim pg 46) </ref> | ||
# When it's possible one should take two others in order to visit the sick. <Ref>The Shiltot (93) writes that one shouldn't visit the sick unless one has two others with him, the Emek Shelah 93:7 writes that this isn't sourced in any sefer before or after the Shiltot. However, Zera Chaim (pg 7) explains that it may be based on the interpretation of Rav Shmuel Ben Chofni Goan who writes that Yosef took his two sons with to visit his father Yacov in order to fulfill visiting the sick implying that one needs to have others with him when visiting the sick. Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim pg 42) concludes that when possible it's better together with others, however, one shouldn't miss the mitzvah because of this especially when it causes a burden for the sick person.</ref> | # When it's possible one should take two others in order to visit the sick. <Ref>The Shiltot (93) writes that one shouldn't visit the sick unless one has two others with him, the Emek Shelah 93:7 writes that this isn't sourced in any sefer before or after the Shiltot. However, Zera Chaim (pg 7) explains that it may be based on the interpretation of Rav Shmuel Ben Chofni Goan who writes that Yosef took his two sons with to visit his father Yacov in order to fulfill visiting the sick implying that one needs to have others with him when visiting the sick. Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim pg 42) concludes that when possible it's better together with others, however, one shouldn't miss the mitzvah because of this especially when it causes a burden for the sick person.</ref> | ||
===Praying for the sick=== | ===Praying for the sick=== | ||
# If one prays in front of the sick person one may pray in any language, however, if one doesn't pray in front of the sick person should only pray in Hebrew. In the prayer one should include the sick person together with all Jews who are sick saying "המקום ירחם עליך בתוך חולי ישראל" (Hashem should have mercy on you amongst the sick of Israel). <ref>Kitzur S"A 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | # If one prays in front of the sick person one may pray in any language, however, if one doesn't pray in front of the sick person should only pray in Hebrew. <ref> S"A Y"D 335:5, Aruch Hashulchan Y"D 335:9 </ref> In the prayer one should include the sick person together with all Jews who are sick saying "המקום ירחם עליך בתוך חולי ישראל" (Hashem should have mercy on you amongst the sick of Israel). <ref>Kitzur S"A 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | ||
# When one prays for a sick person on [[Shabbat]] one should say "שבת היא מלזוק ורפואה קרובה לבוא ורחמיו מרובין ושבתו בשלום". | # When one prays for a sick person on [[Shabbat]] one should say "שבת היא מלזוק ורפואה קרובה לבוא ורחמיו מרובין ושבתו בשלום". | ||
<ref>Kitzur S"A 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | <ref>Kitzur S"A 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | ||
==When to visit== | ==When to visit== | ||
# One should avoid visiting the sick during the first or last three (halachic) hours of the day. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3. | # One should avoid visiting the sick during the first or last three (halachic) hours of the day. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3, S"A YD 335:4, Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:5 based on gemara in Nedarim 40A. S"A YD 335:4 says the reason for this is because during the first three hours of the day the sickness is weaker and the visitor will not be sufficiently stirred to pray for mercy on the sick's behalf, and during the last three hours of the day the sickness is strongest and the visitor will give up on praying on the sick's behalf. Rambam in Hilchot Avel 14:5 says the reason is because this is the time that the needs of the sick person are being taken care of. Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) writes that these hours must be Shaot Zmaniot otherwise there are some days where one can’t visit the sick. </ref>However, if that is the only time one is able to visit the sick one should do it then rather then not visit at all. <Ref>Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221). Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:8 writes that the minhag isn't strict about this because chazal didn't forbid visiting during these times rather chazal were giving advise when it's best to visit. Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim pg 44) and Mourning in Halacha 1:7 also write that today we aren't concerned about only visiting during these times. See Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer (Ramat Rachel 12), Shalmat Chaim (411). </ref> | ||
==Going to doctors== | ==Going to doctors== | ||
