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Visiting the Sick: Difference between revisions
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==Obligation== | ==Obligation== | ||
# When a person is sick there’s a mitzvah (positive commandment) to visit the sick as we see that Hashem visited Avraham when he was sick after his [[Brit Milah]]. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, | # When a person is sick there’s a mitzvah (positive commandment) to visit the sick as we see that Hashem visited Avraham when he was sick after his [[Brit Milah]]. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, Shulchan Aruch YD 335:1. The Rambam (Hilchot Avel 14:1) writes that [[visiting the sick]] is a mitzvah derabbanan (rabbinic). See Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 for a list of people who say its from the torah as well as a list who say its rabbinic. [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:2-3 says that the reward for this mitzva is great, and benefits the one who fulfills it both in this world and the next. </ref> | ||
# One who has the opportunity to fulfill [[visiting the sick]] and comforting the dead should first visit the sick, however, if he can only fulfill one of the two he should comfort the mourner. <Ref>Kitzur | # One who has the opportunity to fulfill [[visiting the sick]] and comforting the dead should first visit the sick, however, if he can only fulfill one of the two he should comfort the mourner. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:11, Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:7, Rama Y"D 335:10, Aruch Hashulchan Y"D 335:12. </ref> If one has time to do both, [[visiting the sick]] should be done first, because the aid provided to the sick person is considered like saving his life. <ref>[[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:10 </ref> Also, [[visiting the sick]] certainly takes precedence over this and all other mitzvot, if the life threatening needs of the sick person are not being taken care of. <ref> [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:10 quoting Igrot Moshe O"C IV:40:11 </ref> And if one knows something that will help the sick person then [[visiting the sick]] has precedence over comforting a mourner. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:12 </ref> | ||
# The mitzvah applies even when the sick person is in the hospital and is taken care of by doctors and nurses. <ref>Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]], pg 41) explaining that certainly there is a purpose to encourage and pray for the sick person and it's included in Ahavta LeReacha Kamocha. </ref> | # The mitzvah applies even when the sick person is in the hospital and is taken care of by doctors and nurses. <ref>Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]], pg 41) explaining that certainly there is a purpose to encourage and pray for the sick person and it's included in Ahavta LeReacha Kamocha. </ref> | ||
# No beracha is recited over this mitzva. <ref> [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:4, Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1. See both of those sources for reasons. </ref> | # No beracha is recited over this mitzva. <ref> [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:4, Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1. See both of those sources for reasons. </ref> | ||
# A person should not enter the room of a sick person suddenly, lest he walk in on the sick person in an undignified psituation. </ref> [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:34 </ref> | # A person should not enter the room of a sick person suddenly, lest he walk in on the sick person in an undignified psituation. </ref> [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:34 </ref> | ||
==How often== | ==How often== | ||
# There is no maximum measure to this mitzvah and the one who visits the sick more often is praiseworthy, even multiple times in one day, as long as it isn’t a burden on the sick person. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 52), | # There is no maximum measure to this mitzvah and the one who visits the sick more often is praiseworthy, even multiple times in one day, as long as it isn’t a burden on the sick person. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 52), Shulchan Aruch YD 335:2, Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:4 </ref> | ||
# One should be careful that one isn't causing the sick person a burden because sometimes it's difficult for the sick person to speak or he may need to go to the bathroom but he's embarrassed and so it's important that the visitor be wise and attentive. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:4 </ref> | # One should be careful that one isn't causing the sick person a burden because sometimes it's difficult for the sick person to speak or he may need to go to the bathroom but he's embarrassed and so it's important that the visitor be wise and attentive. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:4 </ref> | ||
==Who should visit== | ==Who should visit== | ||
# An enemy of the one who’s sick shouldn’t visit the sick so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall. <Ref>Rama YD 335:2, Kitzur S”A 193:1 </ref> Some say that nowadays an enemy may visit since it brings to peace. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:6 says that each case should be judged individually. He recommends asking the sick person first, and if he allows, to go visit and this creates peace. </ref>However, one should be careful that it doesn't cause the sick person to feel that he is very sick and that's why he's coming to visit and really it all depends on the situation. <ref>Divrei Sofrim (Avilut VeBikur Cholim 1:83)</ref> | # An enemy of the one who’s sick shouldn’t visit the sick so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall. <Ref>Rama YD 335:2, Kitzur S”A 193:1 </ref> Some say that nowadays an enemy may visit since it brings to peace. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:6 says that each case should be judged individually. He recommends asking the sick person first, and if he allows, to go visit and this creates peace. </ref>However, one should be careful that it doesn't cause the sick person to feel that he is very sick and that's why he's coming to visit and really it all depends on the situation. <ref>Divrei Sofrim (Avilut VeBikur Cholim 1:83)</ref> | ||
# A man may visit a woman and a woman a man, however, the man and woman may not be secluded together in order not to violate the laws of seclusion ([[Yichud]]). <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:11 quoting the Birkei Yosef </ref> However, some say that this isn't proper. <ref>Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 48) quoting Ramat Rachel (16) </ref> | # A man may visit a woman and a woman a man, however, the man and woman may not be secluded together in order not to violate the laws of seclusion ([[Yichud]]). <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:11 quoting the Birkei Yosef </ref> However, some say that this isn't proper. <ref>Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 48) quoting Ramat Rachel (16) </ref> | ||
# Relatives and friends who usually visit the sick person’s house can visit the sick immediately after he becomes sick, however, those who don’t regularly visit shouldn’t visit the sick until after three days. If the illness is sudden and severe all should visit immediately. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, | # Relatives and friends who usually visit the sick person’s house can visit the sick immediately after he becomes sick, however, those who don’t regularly visit shouldn’t visit the sick until after three days. If the illness is sudden and severe all should visit immediately. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:1, Shulchan Aruch YD 335:1, [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:6. </ref> | ||
# One should visit the non-Jew sick people just like one visits the sick Jews. <ref> | # One should visit the non-Jew sick people just like one visits the sick Jews. <ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 335:9, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:12, Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 52)</ref> | ||
# One should visit the sick person even if he has doctors and nurses addressing all of his needs, as this can serve as encouragement for him and aid in his recovery and help him earn mercy from Hashem. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 </ref> | # One should visit the sick person even if he has doctors and nurses addressing all of his needs, as this can serve as encouragement for him and aid in his recovery and help him earn mercy from Hashem. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 </ref> | ||
# A sick person may refuse visitors as long as he as others attending to his needs and visiting him, but he cannot refuse all visitation. If he has visitors and will be distressed if other visitors come, he can refuse their visit. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 footnote 3 </ref> | # A sick person may refuse visitors as long as he as others attending to his needs and visiting him, but he cannot refuse all visitation. If he has visitors and will be distressed if other visitors come, he can refuse their visit. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 footnote 3 </ref> | ||
# It is preferable to visit the sick in a group if this is not a burden on the sick for several reasons. If not, it is permissible to visit alone. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 footnote 3a, [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:33 </ref> | # It is preferable to visit the sick in a group if this is not a burden on the sick for several reasons. If not, it is permissible to visit alone. <ref> Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:1 footnote 3a, [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:33 </ref> | ||
# Even a great person must visit a less important person, and an elder person must visit a young person. <ref> | # Even a great person must visit a less important person, and an elder person must visit a young person. <ref> Shulchan Aruch YD 335:2, Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:4, Yalkut Yosef YD chelek 7 1:3 see footnote there where he explains that the obligation even applies to visiting a minor. </ref> | ||
==Three main components of visiting the sick== | ==Three main components of visiting the sick== | ||
# The primary aspects of [[visiting the sick]] are 1) to see what the sick person needs 2) to have his friends speak pleasantly with him 3) pray for his health. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3 </ref> | # The primary aspects of [[visiting the sick]] are 1) to see what the sick person needs 2) to have his friends speak pleasantly with him 3) pray for his health. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3 </ref> | ||
===Speaking to the sick person=== | ===Speaking to the sick person=== | ||
# If the sick person is [[lying]] on a bed the visitor may sit on a chair. <ref>Kitzur S”A 193:2. The Shulchan Aruch Y"D 335:3 states that when visiting a sick person, one should not sit on a bed, chair, or bench, because the shechina rests over the head of the sick person. The Rama there notes however, that this is only necessary when the sick person is on the floor and the visitor will be higher than the sick person. If the sick person is [[lying]] on a bed one is permitted to sit on a chair or bench. This is the practice nowadays. (Yalkut Yosef Y"D Chelek 7 1:3,Aruch Hashulchan 335:7) </ref> One should not sit at the head of the bed of the sick person because the schechina rests over the sick person's head. <ref> This applies even if he is not sitting higher than the sick person. If the sick person is an adam beinoni (regular person) one should not sit at the foot of the bed because this is the place of the Angel of Death. If the person is a tzadik gammur (totally righteous person) then a person should only sit at the foot of the bed, because the shechina surrounds a tzadik on all sides but not near his feet. (Aruch Hashulchan 335:7 quoting the Zohar, [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:23) </ref> | # If the sick person is [[lying]] on a bed the visitor may sit on a chair. <ref>Kitzur S”A 193:2. The Shulchan Aruch Y"D 335:3 states that when visiting a sick person, one should not sit on a bed, chair, or bench, because the shechina rests over the head of the sick person. The Rama there notes however, that this is only necessary when the sick person is on the floor and the visitor will be higher than the sick person. If the sick person is [[lying]] on a bed one is permitted to sit on a chair or bench. This is the practice nowadays. (Yalkut Yosef Y"D Chelek 7 1:3,Aruch Hashulchan 335:7) </ref> One should not sit at the head of the bed of the sick person because the schechina rests over the sick person's head. <ref> This applies even if he is not sitting higher than the sick person. If the sick person is an adam beinoni (regular person) one should not sit at the foot of the bed because this is the place of the Angel of Death. If the person is a tzadik gammur (totally righteous person) then a person should only sit at the foot of the bed, because the shechina surrounds a tzadik on all sides but not near his feet. (Aruch Hashulchan 335:7 quoting the Zohar, [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:23) </ref> | ||
# One should be sensible about which one speaks with the sick person specifically topics of life and not of death. <Ref>Kitzur | # One should be sensible about which one speaks with the sick person specifically topics of life and not of death. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:5 </ref> | ||
# If God forbid a relative of a sick person dies, we don't notify him of the death, lest it greatly hurt him psychologically and emotionally. We don't rip his shirt, we don't cry in front of him, we don't euologize in front of him, all so that we don't break his heart. We also silence anyone who comes to comfort him on the death. <ref> | # If God forbid a relative of a sick person dies, we don't notify him of the death, lest it greatly hurt him psychologically and emotionally. We don't rip his shirt, we don't cry in front of him, we don't euologize in front of him, all so that we don't break his heart. We also silence anyone who comes to comfort him on the death. <ref>Shulchan Aruch Y"D 337:1 </ref> This applies even to the death of a parent for whom he is required to recite [[Kaddish]]. Even if he is capable of doing so, he should not be informed. <ref> ([[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:28 footnote 57) </ref> | ||
*If the sick person does find out, one should not tell him to do kri'ah, nor should they cry for or eulogize the deceased in front of the sick person, and they should prevent people who come from consoling the sick person. <ref> ([[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:28 footnote 58, 1:29 footnote 62) </ref> | *If the sick person does find out, one should not tell him to do kri'ah, nor should they cry for or eulogize the deceased in front of the sick person, and they should prevent people who come from consoling the sick person. <ref> ([[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:28 footnote 58, 1:29 footnote 62) </ref> | ||
*These things apply even if the deceased is not a relative, and especially if the deceased is even a friend, because the news of the death of another may be detrimental to the sick person. <ref> [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:28 footnote 59 </ref> | *These things apply even if the deceased is not a relative, and especially if the deceased is even a friend, because the news of the death of another may be detrimental to the sick person. <ref> [[Mourning]] in Halachah 1:28 footnote 59 </ref> | ||
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===Praying for the sick=== | ===Praying for the sick=== | ||
# Praying for the sick is included in the mitzvah of doing chessed. <ref> Shulchan Aruch Hamidot 2:pg. 236 </ref> | # Praying for the sick is included in the mitzvah of doing chessed. <ref> Shulchan Aruch Hamidot 2:pg. 236 </ref> | ||
# If one prays in front of the sick person one may pray in any language, however, if one doesn't pray in front of the sick person should only pray in Hebrew. <ref> | # If one prays in front of the sick person one may pray in any language, however, if one doesn't pray in front of the sick person should only pray in Hebrew. <ref> Shulchan Aruch Y"D 335:5, Aruch Hashulchan Y"D 335:9 </ref> In the [[prayer]] one should include the sick person together with all Jews who are sick saying "המקום ירחם עליך בתוך חולי ישראל" (Hashem should have mercy on you amongst the sick of [[Israel]]). <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | ||
# When one prays for a sick person on [[Shabbat]] one should say "שבת היא מלזעוק ורפואה קרובה לבוא ורחמיו מרובין ושבתו בשלום". <ref> Kitzur | # When one prays for a sick person on [[Shabbat]] one should say "שבת היא מלזעוק ורפואה קרובה לבוא ורחמיו מרובין ושבתו בשלום". <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:4, Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) </ref> | ||
# In general when praying for the sick one should mention the name of the sick and the name of the sick's mother. <ref> Aruch Hashulchan 119:1, Daas Torah O.C. 119:1 quoting a Zohar on Shemot that the father’s name is not used since we are not always positive about the true identity of the father. </ref> If the mother's name in not known, one should use the father's name. If that's also unknown one should use the family name.<ref> 9. Orchos Rabbeinu 1:218, quoting the Chazon Ish. </ref> | # In general when praying for the sick one should mention the name of the sick and the name of the sick's mother. <ref> Aruch Hashulchan 119:1, Daas Torah O.C. 119:1 quoting a Zohar on Shemot that the father’s name is not used since we are not always positive about the true identity of the father. </ref> If the mother's name in not known, one should use the father's name. If that's also unknown one should use the family name.<ref> 9. Orchos Rabbeinu 1:218, quoting the Chazon Ish. </ref> | ||
# A mother praying on behalf of her child should not mention her own name but should say “my son/daughter” followed by the child’s name. <ref> Rav Chaim Kanievsky (Ishei Yisrael 23, note 189). </ref> | # A mother praying on behalf of her child should not mention her own name but should say “my son/daughter” followed by the child’s name. <ref> Rav Chaim Kanievsky (Ishei Yisrael 23, note 189). </ref> | ||
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==When to visit== | ==When to visit== | ||
# One should avoid [[visiting the sick]] during the first or last three (halachic) hours of the day. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3, | # One should avoid [[visiting the sick]] during the first or last three (halachic) hours of the day. <Ref>Kitzur S”A 193:3, Shulchan Aruch YD 335:4, Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:5 based on gemara in Nedarim 40A. Shulchan Aruch YD 335:4 says the reason for this is because during the first three hours of the day the sickness is weaker and the visitor will not be sufficiently stirred to pray for mercy on the sick's behalf, and during the last three hours of the day the sickness is strongest and the visitor will give up on praying on the sick's behalf. Rambam in Hilchot Avel 14:5 says the reason is because this is the time that the needs of the sick person are being taken care of. Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221) writes that these hours must be [[Shaot Zmaniot]] otherwise there are some days where one can’t visit the sick. </ref>However, if that is the only time one is able to visit the sick one should do it then rather then not visit at all. <Ref>Chafetz Chaim in Ahavat Chesed (section 3, chapter 3, pg 221). Aruch HaShulchan YD 335:8 writes that the minhag isn't strict about this because chazal didn't forbid visiting during these times rather chazal were giving advise when it's best to visit. Yalkut Yosef ([[Bikur Cholim]] pg 44) and [[Mourning]] in Halacha 1:7 also write that today we aren't concerned about only visiting during these times. See Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer (Ramat Rachel 12), Shalmat Chaim (411). </ref> | ||
==Going to doctors== | ==Going to doctors== | ||
