Three Weeks: Difference between revisions

# The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. <ref> Rama 551:2 and 4</ref> There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the  night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). <ref> Doleh UMashkeh (pg 207-208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), the Chidah in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24, Divrei Moshe 1:33, Rav Avraham M’butcatch OC 551:7, Orchot Rabbeinu 2:page 127:6, Shevet Halevi 8:168:7 and 10:81:2, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338, Kaf Hachaim 551:207, Moadei Yeshurun page 128:1, Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying [[Shehecheyanu]] is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like that Igrot Moshe OC 1:168. Rav Elyashiv in Doleh U’maskhe page 208 footnote 557 says that in a pressing situation once can be lenient. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 prohibited this, and he argues that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is even stricter than the remainder of the three weeks. Rabbi Herschel Schachter Nefesh Harav page 196 quotes Rabbi Soloveitchik as being stringent as well. Kaf Hachayim 551:122 says that it begins from sunset unless one says arvit before that, in which case it would start when he says arvit. </ref>

# The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. <ref> Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1 </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until Tisha BeAv) <ref> S"A 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. <ref> Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset hegedola, Sdei Chemed 6 MarechestBein Hametzarim 1:10,  [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour of Daily Halacha] says that this is the Syrian minhag.  </ref>

# It is permitted to become engaged during the Nine Days, and even on Tisha B’Av itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing.  <ref> S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim. </ref>  Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:19 </ref>  

# A person should recite a shehechiyanu upon the birth of a baby girl during the three weeks because that Bracha can't wait until after the three weeks. <ref> Nitai Gavriel 17:19 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying shehecheyanu is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref>Similarly, at a Pidyon HaBen one should make a Shehechiyanu even during the three weeks. <ref>Nitai Gavriel 17:20</ref>

# It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. <Ref> Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 and Yachava Daat 6:34 agree. Nitai Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of [[Listening to Music]] and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magan Avraham 551:10). See next notes. </ref>

# Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. <Ref> Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Sh"t Iggerot Moshe OC 1:166 and 3:87 Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 and 3:30, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1677 Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha] hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Minchat Yitzchak 1:111, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39, and Divrei Shalom 3:118. </ref>

# The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include [[Rosh Chodesh]] in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] itself and some Sephardim are strict. <Ref> The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis to ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra OC 551:9 writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to Tisha B'Av, that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time.The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamakseket prior to tisha b'av. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of tisha b'av, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av but excluding Shabbat (Mishna Berura 551:59). This is also written in the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt]. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41 and Kaf Hachayim 551:125 write that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on [[Rosh Chodesh]] the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169) and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who also write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days. </ref>

# Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, as does the Torat Moadim 5:46 while the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). Aruch Hashulchan 551:24 also forbids it, Also see Piskei Teshuvot 551:34. Kaf Hachayim 551:144 says that for melave malka one is permitted to eat meat leftovers as long as he doesn't prepare extra for shabbat with the intention of having leftovers. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=950 Rabbi Eli Mansour] quotes that Rav Chaim Palachi allows this while Chacham Benzion Abba Shaul says it's better not to. Rabbi Mansour also says that for the remainder of the week kids can eat it lechatchila and if adults eat it one cannot rebuke them. Piskei Teshuvot 551:34 says there are some poskim who permit eating meat for melave malka for someone who usually eats meat for melave malka. </ref>