Three Weeks: Difference between revisions

# The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. <ref> Rama 551:2 and 4</ref> There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the  night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). <ref> Doleh UMashkeh (pg 208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), the Chidah in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24,  Tzitz Eliezer 10:26, Divrei Moshe 1:33, Rav Avraham M’butcatch OC 551:7 are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying [[Shehecheyanu]] is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like that Igrot Moshe OC 1:168. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 prohibited this, and he argues that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is even stricter than the remainder of the three weeks. Rabbi Herschel Schachter Nefesh Harav page 196 quotes Rabbi Soloveitchik as being stringent as well. Kaf Hachayim 551:122 says that it begins from sunset unless one says arvit before that, in which case it would start when he says arvit. </ref>

# If one doesn't have Tefillin or one has the opportunity to buy nicer Tefillin it's permissible to buy them after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. <ref> Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80 </ref>

# One should refrain from buying Tzitzit or a Talit during the three weeks. <ref>Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying Tzitzis or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make Shehecheyanu) before the three weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"T Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees. She'elat yaavetz 82 says that if your tzitzit become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva. </ref>

# Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the three weeks except in dangerous waters until the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av). <ref> Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, and Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4. [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the nine days if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the nine days, but not in public, like camps. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that sephardim are permitted to swim throughout the three weeks, nine days, and week of tisha b'av but ashkenazim who follow the Rama should not. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2181 Rabbi Eli Mansour] says the syrian minhag is not to swim during the week in which tisha b'av falls out. </ref>

# Some stop bathing and showering for the week of Tisha B'av  and some start already from the nine days. <ref> Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says from the week of and the Mordechai Taanit 639 says from Rosh Chodesh Av. Both opinions are quoted in S"A 551:16. Kaf Hachayim 551:186 says to follow whatever the custom of the place where you are living. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that the sephardic custom is that one is permitted to shower in cold water throughout and only has to stop using hot water for the week of tisha b'av. </ref> For Shabbat Chazon, some poskim permit washing the whole body with hot water, <ref> Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>

# Someone who’s profession is to play music before non-Jews or to teach music (and there would be a loss of money if he stops teaching music) may continue until the week of Tisha BeAv but it’s better to be strict from the beginning of the nine days. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 156). See also Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Biur Halacha 551:2. </ref>

# The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include [[Rosh Chodesh]] in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] itself and some Sephardim are strict. <Ref> The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis to ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra OC 551:9 writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to Tisha B'Av, that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time.The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamakseket prior to tisha b'av. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of tisha b'av, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av but excluding Shabbat (Mishna Berura 551:59). This is also written in the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt]. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41 and Kaf Hachayim 551:125 write that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on [[Rosh Chodesh]] the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169) and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who also write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days. </ref>

# Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, as does the Torat Moadim 5:46 while the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). Aruch Hashulchan 551:24 also forbids it, Also see Piskei Teshuvot 551:34. Kaf Hachayim 551:144 says that for melave malka one is permitted to eat meat leftovers as long as he doesn't prepare extra for shabbat with the intention of having leftovers. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=950 Rabbi Eli Mansour] quotes that Rav Chaim Palachi allows this while Chacham Benzion Abba Shaul says it's better not to. Rabbi Mansour also says that for the remainder of the week kids can eat it lechatchila and if adults eat it one cannot rebuke them. Piskei Teshuvot 551:34 says there are some poskim who permit eating meat for melave malka for someone who usually eats meat for melave malka. </ref>

# One may eat meat at a meal for a mitzvah such as the meal of a Brit Milah and this includes the relatives and friend invited to the meal however, it doesn’t include those who just walk in to eat. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 196-7). Rama 551:10 allows eating meat for a seudat mitzva, and the Taz there explains that only someone would normally be invited to this seuda, may partake in this meat seuda during this time. If the bris is scheduled to be performed before the nine days, even if it has already been postponed, Shaare Teshuva 551:10 says you cannpot postpone any further to allow eating meat, and one who does this is considered someone who breaches fences.  </ref>

# One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8). Although the Rama 551:10 writes that one should minimize the amount of guests invited to this meal, Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (cited in Nitei Gavriel Hilchot Bein HaMetzarim 41:4), rule that if the one who completes the masechet eats in a communal dining room (such as a camp or hotel), all those who eat with him may participate. </ref>

# One may eat meat a meal held for a Bar Mitzvah only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230. Even though this is not mentioned by the Rama 551:10 as one of the meals you can eat meat for, Magen Avraham 225:4 says that a bar mitzva meal is a seudat mitzva, because just like siyum on a masechet is the celebration of the culmination of a mitzva, so too a bar mitzva is celebrating culminating the mitzva of chinuch. </ref>

#It is preferable not to even feed children meat during the nine days, but if you do you may have on who to rely. <ref>Magen Avraham 551:31 says you can give children meat even during the week of tisha b'av because we never had the minhag for kids to mourn. However, he adds that this is only true for a child below the age of chinuch, meaning a child who doesn't understand what we mourn. Mishna Berura 551:70 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:76 say that although there is no requirement for the child to mourn for the beit hamikdash, the prohibition of feeding children prohibited items discussed in SA OC 343 extends to things that are only prohibited by custom and therefore one shouldn't feed meat to his kids unless for health reasons and the reason the Rama permitted havdala wine for children was for a mitzva. Iggerot Moshe 4:21:4 says even to feed the children meat on Friday afternoon before shabbat would not be allowed unless they usually eat their Friday night meal at that hour. Based on the Magen Avraham 551:31, Rabbi David Yosef in torat hamoadim Siman 5 page 190 says there is ample room to be lenient in this case. Aruch Hashulchan 551:26 as well says there is room to be lenient, especially in a case where it is a weak child who can gain a lot from eating the meat. </ref>

# Although the custom is not to eat meat or drink wine during the nine days, stores that sell meat or wine may continue to sell meat or wine because someone who is permitted to eat it, such as a sick person or for a seudat mitzvah may need it. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 4:112 </ref> One is permitted to leave his meat restaurant open during the nine days, because the people who are eating meat during the nine days, without the availability of kosher meat, may go to a non-kosher restaurant but he should preferably serve only chicken. <ref> Yechave Daat 3:38. For more on whether a meat restaurant may remain open, see [http://www.koltorah.org/ravj/Restaurants%20Serving%20Meat%20During%20the%20Nine%20Days.htm Rabbi Chaim Jachter: Restaurants Serving Meat During the Nine Days] </ref>

# The sephardic custom is not to do laundry during the week of tisha b'av.<ref> S"A 551:3 based on gemara in taanit 26b. </ref> Ashkenazic custom is to refrain already from Rosh Chodesh Av, <ref> Rama 551:3. </ref> The same applies with wearing freshly laundered clothing even if they were washed prior to these times. <ref> S"A and Rama 551:3, Yechave Daat 1:39 </ref>

# One shouldn't do laundry even if he doesn't plan on wearing the clothes until afterwards, as this distracts him from his mourning. He also should not give it to a non-Jew to do for him. <ref> S"A and Rama 551:3 and Mishna Berura 551:34 </ref>