Three Weeks: Difference between revisions

# If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the three weeks. <ref> Mishnah Berura 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref>  

# Women may shave their legs if necessary. <ref> Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128 note 9, Kitzur Hilchot Bein hametzarim page 4. </ref>

# It is forbidden to take a haircut for a bar mitzva. <ref> Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128. Rivevot Ephraim 1:337, 2:155:20, Nitei Gavriel 20:6 allow for a bar mitzva boy to get a haircut until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. </ref>  

# Some say if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for [[tefillin]] then one is permitted to get a haircut. <ref> Shalmei Moed page 476, Nitei Gavriel 19:7 </ref>

# If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the three weeks but not during the [[nine days]]. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair. <ref> Iggerot Moshe OC 4:120 </ref>  

# Some poskim allow a child under the age of six to get a haircut. <ref> Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Brurah 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 conclude that children even below 6 should not get haircuts and bring two reasons from the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being [[chinuch]], in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children [[mourning]], in which case it would apply to even children under 6. Chanoch lanaar 21:2:1, Nitei Gavriel 20:7, Rivevot Ephraim 1:336:2, 2:155:19  say that if an upsherin falls out during the three weeks one should either push it up or postpone it. Torat Yekutiel 1:47 is lenient. </ref>

# It is permitted to pluck one’s eyebrows or eyelashes. <ref> Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 9, Shalmei Moed page 477.  </ref>

# One shouldn’t make a [[Shehecheyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]], however, is there’s great need, there’s what to rely on. <Ref> Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Beiur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say [[Shehecheyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits [[Shehecheyanu]] at night even without any need. </ref>

# A person should recite a [[Shehecheyanu]] upon the birth of a baby girl during the three weeks because that Bracha can't wait until after the three weeks. <ref> Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yushfei 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying [[shehecheyanu]] is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref>Similarly, at a [[Pidyon HaBen]] one should make a [[Shehecheyanu]] even during the three weeks. <ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:20 </ref>

# A [[shehecheyanu]] should be recited for the [[Pidyon Haben]] even during the Three Weeks. <ref> S"A 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25 </ref>  

==Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing==

# Since nowadays we don’t make a [[Shehecheyanu]] on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid. <Ref> Halichot Shlomo pg 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. This is the ruling of Mishna Brurah 441:45 and Kaf Hachayim 551:88, see Nechamet Yisrael pg 40 </ref>

==Listening to Music==

==Meat and wine==

# The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the [[nine days]]. Ashkenazim include [[Rosh Chodesh]] in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] itself and some Sephardim are strict. <Ref> The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis to ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra OC 551:9 writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to [[Tisha BeAv]], that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time. The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamafseket prior to [[Tisha BeAv]]. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], and some don't eat from [[rosh chodesh]] av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on [[Tisha BeAv]], some refrain for the [[nine days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the [[nine days]] including [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av but excluding [[Shabbat]] (Mishna Brurah 551:59). This is also written in the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt]. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41, Moed Likol Chai 9:15, [http://www.doresh-tzion.co.il/QAShowAnswer.aspx?qaid=97492 Rav Bentzion Mussafi], and Kaf Hachayim 551:125 write that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the [[nine days]], however, on [[Rosh Chodesh]] the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169), [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2184 Rabbi Mansour on dailyhalacha.com], and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who all write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the [[nine days]]. </ref>

# Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from [[Shabbat]] during the [[nine days]], while others forbid. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, as does the Torat Moadim 5:46. Birkei Yosef 551:6 says that in order to encourage proper for fulfillment of the meal itself we allow the leftovers to be eaten later. However, the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). Aruch Hashulchan 551:24 also forbids it, also see Piskei Teshuvot 551:34. Kaf Hachayim 551:144 says that for melave malka one is permitted to eat meat leftovers as long as he doesn't prepare extra for [[shabbat]] with the intention of having leftovers. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=950 Rabbi Eli Mansour] quotes that Rav Chaim Palachi allows this while Chacham Benzion Abba Shaul says it's better not to. Rabbi Mansour also says that for the remainder of the week kids can eat it lechatchila and if adults eat it one cannot rebuke them. Piskei Teshuvot 551:34 says there are some poskim who permit eating meat for melave malka for someone who usually eats meat for melave malka. </ref>

# One who needs to eat meat for health reasons such as a child, pregnant woman, nursing woman, or an elderly or sick person is permitted to eat meat, but if he can eat chicken that is preferable. <ref> Mishna Brurah 551:64. Yechave Daat 1:41 adds that if they do, they are not required to make a hatarat nedarim. </ref>

# One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8). Although the Rama 551:10 writes that one should minimize the amount of guests invited to this meal, Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (cited in Nitei Gavriel 18:7), rule that if the one who completes the masechet eats in a communal dining room (such as a camp or hotel), all those who eat with him may participate. Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 132 says that preferably one shouldn't hold a siyum of a masechet after the sixth of av. Aruch Hashulchan 551:28 says that since nowadays we do not properly celebrate the torah, preferably no siyums should be held during the [[nine days]]. </ref>

# One may eat meat a meal held for a [[Bar Mitzvah]] only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230, Yad Efrayim 551:31, Divrei Yatziv 2:238. Divrei Yatziv actually says that if the bar-mitzva boy says words of torah, even if it's not the actual day that he turns 13 they can nevertheless eat meat. Even though this is not mentioned by the Rama 551:10 as one of the meals you can eat meat for, Magen Avraham 225:4 says that a bar mitzva meal is a seudat mitzva, because just like siyum on a masechet is the celebration of the culmination of a mitzva, so too a bar mitzva is celebrating culminating the mitzva of [[chinuch]]. </ref>

# During the three weeks a Rabbi should be careful not to hit his students <ref> Shulchan Aruch 551:18, Shulchan Shlomo 18, Chayei Adom 133:8. Mishna Brurah 551:103, Baer Heitev 551:41, Taz, Levush, Eshel Avraham Butchatch 551:18, Chayei Adam 133:8 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:39 add that this includes hitting with a strap. Kaf Hachayim 551:232 says that one should refrain even from the slightest hit. </ref> and a parent should not hit his child. <ref> Kitzur S”A 122:2, Kaf Hachayim 551:230, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 129:14 </ref>

# If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should evade having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew. <ref> S"A 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Brurah 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until [[rosh chodesh]] [[elul]], but at the minimum until [[Tisha BeAv]]. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur S"A 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth. </ref>

# One is permitted to recite the beracha of Hagomel at any point during the three weeks, including [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and [[Tisha BeAv]]. <ref> [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2349 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>

==Haftarot==