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Three Weeks: Difference between revisions
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# The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. <ref> Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1 </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until [[Tisha BeAv]]) <ref> S"A 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. <ref> Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset hegedola, Sdei Chemed 6 MarechestBein Hametzarim 1:10, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com] says that this is the Syrian minhag. </ref> It is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, and they may even dance at the wedding. <ref> Rivevot Ephraim 6:289, Or Litzion 3:25:1 with footnote 1, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128, Nitei Gavriel 14:10:footnote 20. </ref> | # The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. <ref> Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1 </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until [[Tisha BeAv]]) <ref> S"A 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. <ref> Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset hegedola, Sdei Chemed 6 MarechestBein Hametzarim 1:10, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com] says that this is the Syrian minhag. </ref> It is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, and they may even dance at the wedding. <ref> Rivevot Ephraim 6:289, Or Litzion 3:25:1 with footnote 1, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128, Nitei Gavriel 14:10:footnote 20. </ref> | ||
# It is permitted to become engaged or write tenaim during the Nine Days, and even on [[Tisha BeAv]] itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing. <ref> S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553 </ref> Until [[Rosh Chodesh]], one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:19 </ref> | # It is permitted to become engaged or write tenaim during the Nine Days, and even on [[Tisha BeAv]] itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing. <ref> S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553 </ref> Until [[Rosh Chodesh]], one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:19 </ref> | ||
# Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei [[Tisha BeAv]], but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted. <ref> Sh"t | # Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei [[Tisha BeAv]], but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted. <ref> Sh"t Yabia Omer 2:23:16, Sh"t Yechave Daat 5:41. </ref> | ||
==Cutting Hair== | ==Cutting Hair== | ||
# According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. <Ref> The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Berura 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur S"A 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for mourning, therefore we stop cutting it for the entire three weeks. </ref> One should wait until after chatzot on the tenth of Av to get a haircut. <ref> Aruch Hashulchan 551:16. </ref> | # According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. <Ref> The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Berura 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur S"A 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for mourning, therefore we stop cutting it for the entire three weeks. </ref> One should wait until after chatzot on the tenth of Av to get a haircut. <ref> Aruch Hashulchan 551:16. </ref> | ||
# For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a haircut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva <Ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t | # For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a haircut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva <Ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> however, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref> | ||
# A woman who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Iggerot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10 </ref> | # A woman who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Iggerot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10 </ref> | ||
# If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the three weeks. <ref> Mishnah Berura 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref> | # If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the three weeks. <ref> Mishnah Berura 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref> | ||
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* (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work. | * (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work. | ||
* (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after [[Tisha BeAv]], one can shave until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], but during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after [[Tisha BeAv]] or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money. | * (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after [[Tisha BeAv]], one can shave until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], but during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after [[Tisha BeAv]] or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money. | ||
* <div id="shavingforkavodshabbos"></div> (4) Kavod [[Shabbat]]: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod [[Shabbat]] (unlike laundering which is relaxed for Kavod [[Shabbat]] for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of [[Shabbat]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of [[Shabbat]] one can’t shave during the three weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magan Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Buir Halacha 551:3 D”H VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod [[Shabbat]] even for [[Shabbat]] Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before [[Shabbat]] chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on [[Tisha BeAv]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/pinchas.html Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magan Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the three weeks even for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yachava Daat 3:39, Sh”t | * <div id="shavingforkavodshabbos"></div> (4) Kavod [[Shabbat]]: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod [[Shabbat]] (unlike laundering which is relaxed for Kavod [[Shabbat]] for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of [[Shabbat]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of [[Shabbat]] one can’t shave during the three weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magan Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Buir Halacha 551:3 D”H VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod [[Shabbat]] even for [[Shabbat]] Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before [[Shabbat]] chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on [[Tisha BeAv]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/pinchas.html Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magan Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the three weeks even for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yachava Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of [[Shabbat]] Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] during the rest of the three weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Rabinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father. </ref> | ||
# A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until [[Rosh Chodesh]]. <ref> Mishnah Berurah 551:87, Kitzur S"A 122:14 </ref> | # A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until [[Rosh Chodesh]]. <ref> Mishnah Berurah 551:87, Kitzur S"A 122:14 </ref> | ||
==Dancing== | ==Dancing== | ||
