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The Night of the Wedding: Difference between revisions
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# If they are both unsure if they had a complete biyah and they didn't find blood if she didn't feel pain she is tahora. A rabbi should be consulted. <ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:19 advances several reasons why one could be lenient if they didn't find blood, she didn't feel pain, and they don't know if there was a complete biyah. Firstly, if there was no blood it isn't likely that the hymen broke. Secondly, if there was no pain it is likely that the hymen didn't break. Lastly, the entire tumah of dam betulim is rabbinic and in a case of doubt we can apply the rule of safek derabbanan lkula. He adds that even those who are strict wouldn't be strict if they're not even sure if they had haarah.</ref> | # If they are both unsure if they had a complete biyah and they didn't find blood if she didn't feel pain she is tahora. A rabbi should be consulted. <ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:19 advances several reasons why one could be lenient if they didn't find blood, she didn't feel pain, and they don't know if there was a complete biyah. Firstly, if there was no blood it isn't likely that the hymen broke. Secondly, if there was no pain it is likely that the hymen didn't break. Lastly, the entire tumah of dam betulim is rabbinic and in a case of doubt we can apply the rule of safek derabbanan lkula. He adds that even those who are strict wouldn't be strict if they're not even sure if they had haarah.</ref> | ||
# There was once a terrible practice for the couple to delay a few days after the wedding to have their first biyah, this is forbidden for several reasons.<ref>Shach 192:11. The Machasit Hashekel 192:11 explains that among the reasons why it is improper is that he might come to inappropriate thoughts and this might cause bitul zera.</ref> | # There was once a terrible practice for the couple to delay a few days after the wedding to have their first biyah, this is forbidden for several reasons.<ref>Shach 192:11. The Machasit Hashekel 192:11 explains that among the reasons why it is improper is that he might come to inappropriate thoughts and this might cause bitul zera.</ref> | ||
#If a couple had pre-marital sex (which is completely forbidden) there's no dam betulim.<ref>Batim Lbadim v. 1 p. 632 18:31</ref> | |||
==The Second Biyah== | ==The Second Biyah== | ||
# If there was blood after the first biyah, even if it was incomplete, and she was tameh, then after the second biyah if there's no blood she's tahora.<ref>Igrot Moshe YD 1:85, Badei Hashulchan 193:21</ref> | # If there was blood after the first biyah, even if it was incomplete, and she was tameh, then after the second biyah if there's no blood she's tahora.<ref>Igrot Moshe YD 1:85, Badei Hashulchan 193:21</ref> | ||
# If at the second, third, or later time she sees blood she is tameh as a niddah, even if it is hymenal blood. However, if on the second time she finds nothing she is tahora.<Ref>Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 509, Aruch Hashulchan 193:11, Badei Hashulchan 193. See Aruch Hashulchan who says that she should check the sheets for blood after the second biyah.</ref> | # If at the second, third, or later time she sees blood she is tameh as a niddah, even if it is hymenal blood. However, if on the second time she finds nothing she is tahora.<Ref>Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 509, Aruch Hashulchan 193:11, Badei Hashulchan 193. See Aruch Hashulchan who says that she should check the sheets for blood after the second biyah.</ref> | ||
# If after the second biyah there is blood on a colored sheet some poskim are lenient and some are strict.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 is lenient on a ketem on a colored sheet if it is found after the second biyah unless it is found immediately after the biyah in which case he is strict since there is a possibility that there was a hargasha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/875475/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-113-husband-paskening-for-wife-if-maareh-is-lost-does-she-have-to-say-tavalti/ Rabbi Willig (Niddah Shiur 113)] is lenient even if the ketem is found immediately after the biyah.</ref> | # If after the second biyah there is blood on a colored sheet some poskim are lenient and some are strict.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 is lenient on a ketem on a colored sheet if it is found after the second biyah unless it is found immediately after the biyah in which case he is strict since there is a possibility that there was a hargasha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/875475/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-113-husband-paskening-for-wife-if-maareh-is-lost-does-she-have-to-say-tavalti/ Rabbi Willig (Niddah Shiur 113)] is lenient even if the ketem is found immediately after the biyah. | ||
* Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 writes that finding a ketem on a sheet immediately after tashmish if she had biya sheniya. He’s machmir for the Sidrei Tahara in combination of the Tzemech Tzedek who says that if she has pain it might be dam betulim. Badei Hashulchan 190:104 is concerned for the Sidrei Tahara that a ketem found immediately after tashmish or the bathroom is potentially deoritta and no kula’s of ketamim apply. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 410 writes that he isn’t concerned for the Sidrei Tahara that she had a hargasha and missed it. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 204 quotes the opinions of what is meyad. He concludes it is between 15 seconds and 3 minutes.</ref> | |||
# If they didn't have a complete biyah the first time and there was no blood, and at the second biyah they did have complete biyah, she is tameh after the second biyah even if they don't find any blood.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:21</ref> | # If they didn't have a complete biyah the first time and there was no blood, and at the second biyah they did have complete biyah, she is tameh after the second biyah even if they don't find any blood.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:21</ref> | ||
# A man shouldn't intentionally try to only accomplish a partial biyah so that she doesn't become forbidden to him.<ref>Rama 193:1, Badei Hashulchan 193:23</ref> | # A man shouldn't intentionally try to only accomplish a partial biyah so that she doesn't become forbidden to him.<ref>Rama 193:1, Badei Hashulchan 193:23</ref> | ||
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# The practice of taking a honeymoon immediately after the wedding isn't a proper practice because immediately after the wedding the woman is a niddah and it'll be hard to keep all of the laws of niddah. Additionally, during the niddah days it is forbidden to take a romantic trip with your wife.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:31</ref> | # The practice of taking a honeymoon immediately after the wedding isn't a proper practice because immediately after the wedding the woman is a niddah and it'll be hard to keep all of the laws of niddah. Additionally, during the niddah days it is forbidden to take a romantic trip with your wife.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:31</ref> | ||
==Surgical Removal of Hymen== | ==Surgical Removal of Hymen== | ||
# If a doctor surgically removed the hymen, according to some poskim she is tameh and needs shiva nekiyim, while others are lenient that she is tahora. A rabbi should be consulted.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:2 citing Minchat Yitzchak 4:58 is strict while Igrot Moshe YD 87 is lenient. Badei Hashulchan sides with the Minchat Yitzchak.</ref> | # If a doctor surgically removed the hymen, according to some poskim she is tameh and needs shiva nekiyim, while others are lenient that she is tahora. A rabbi should be consulted.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:2 citing Minchat Yitzchak 4:58 is strict while Igrot Moshe YD 87 is lenient. Badei Hashulchan sides with the Minchat Yitzchak. Mishmeret Hatahara 193:6 and Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 519 are lenient. </ref> | ||
# If the doctor removed the hymen and then after the first biyah there was no blood, according to some poskim she is tahora and according to others she is a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:14 quotes the Zera Emet 2:84 who considers her niddah even though she isn't going to see because of the dam betulim since the rabbinic rule was that a woman is tameh after the first biyah in all cases, even where the reasons don't apply. Badei Hashulchan also argues that perhaps she is tahora based on the Maharsha.</ref> | # If the doctor removed the hymen and then after the first biyah there was no blood, according to some poskim she is tahora and according to others she is a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 193:14 quotes the Zera Emet 2:84 who considers her niddah even though she isn't going to see because of the dam betulim since the rabbinic rule was that a woman is tameh after the first biyah in all cases, even where the reasons don't apply. Badei Hashulchan also argues that perhaps she is tahora based on the Maharsha Ketubot 4a. Igrot Moshe YD 1:87 is lenient. Mishmeret Hatahara 193:6 is strict and rejects the proof from the Maharsha who was speaking according to the gemara's din and not the rishonim's chumra.</ref> | ||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category:Niddah]] | [[Category:Niddah]] | ||
