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#There are differing practices for when this custom is observed.<ref>Mishna Berura 493:14-15 writes that although all agree that we refrain for 33 days, there are different approaches for when. See sefer Bein Pesach L’Shavuot (pg. 223–240) who details 10 different minhagim. </ref> There are three basic minhagim about the mourning period between [[Pesach]] and [[Shavuot]]: | #There are differing practices for when this custom is observed.<ref>Mishna Berura 493:14-15 writes that although all agree that we refrain for 33 days, there are different approaches for when. See sefer Bein Pesach L’Shavuot (pg. 223–240) who details 10 different minhagim. </ref> There are three basic minhagim about the mourning period between [[Pesach]] and [[Shavuot]]: | ||
##One practice is to mourn the first 33 days from the beginning of the Omer until the 34th day in the morning. This practice is followed by Sephardim. <ref>Bet Yosef 493:2 quotes Rav Yehoshua Ibn Shuib who cites a Midrash which says they died until פרוס עצרת, or 15 days before Shavuot. This leaves the first 34 days. Based on Miktzat HaYom KeKulo (a portion of the day is considered like a whole day) one may stop mourning on the morning of the 34th. This is how he rules in Shulchan Aruch 493:2. Kaf Hachaim 493:12, Chacham Ovadia Yosef (Chazon Ovadia Yom Tov pg. 253, Yabia Omer 3:26, Yechave Daat 4:32) and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg. 428) write that this is the prevalent Sephardic custom. see also Beiur Halacha 493 s.v. Nohagin. This is explained clearly in Biur HaGra 493:6 s.v. Yesh Nohagim, and [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714562/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Mourning_Period_Of_Sefirat_Ha'omer Rabbi Flug's article on Sefirat HaOmer]. </ref> | ##One practice is to mourn the first 33 days from the beginning of the Omer until the 34th day in the morning. This practice is followed by Sephardim.<ref>Bet Yosef 493:2 quotes Rav Yehoshua Ibn Shuib who cites a Midrash which says they died until פרוס עצרת, or 15 days before Shavuot. This leaves the first 34 days. Based on Miktzat HaYom KeKulo (a portion of the day is considered like a whole day) one may stop mourning on the morning of the 34th. This is how he rules in Shulchan Aruch 493:2. Kaf Hachaim 493:12, Chacham Ovadia Yosef (Chazon Ovadia Yom Tov pg. 253, Yabia Omer 3:26, Yechave Daat 4:32) and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg. 428) write that this is the prevalent Sephardic custom. see also Beiur Halacha 493 s.v. Nohagin. This is explained clearly in Biur HaGra 493:6 s.v. Yesh Nohagim, and [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714562/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Mourning_Period_Of_Sefirat_Ha'omer Rabbi Flug's article on Sefirat HaOmer]. </ref> | ||
##A second practice is to mourn from the beginning of the Omer until the 33rd day in the morning. This practice is followed by most Ashkenazim. <ref>The source for this minhag is the Rama 493:2 who holds that the students of Rabbi Akiva stopped dying on the 33rd day of the Omer and by the principle of Miksat HaYom KeKulo (a minority of the day is considered like a whole day) one may stop [[mourning]] on the morning of the 33rd. This is the explanation of the Biur HaGra 493:9 s.v. UMarbim, and the practice of Ashkenazim as recorded by [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thehalacha.com%2Fattach%2FVolume5%2FIssue8.pdf Halachically Speaking] (Volume 3, Issue 8, page 3). | ##A second practice is to mourn from the beginning of the Omer until the 33rd day in the morning. This practice is followed by most Ashkenazim.<ref>The source for this minhag is the Rama 493:2 who holds that the students of Rabbi Akiva stopped dying on the 33rd day of the Omer and by the principle of Miksat HaYom KeKulo (a minority of the day is considered like a whole day) one may stop [[mourning]] on the morning of the 33rd. This is the explanation of the Biur HaGra 493:9 s.v. UMarbim, and the practice of Ashkenazim as recorded by [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thehalacha.com%2Fattach%2FVolume5%2FIssue8.pdf Halachically Speaking] (Volume 3, Issue 8, page 3). | ||
This is explained clearly in Beiur Halacha 493 s.v. Yesh Nohagim and [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714562/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Mourning_Period_Of_Sefirat_Ha'omer Rabbi Flug's article on Sefirat HaOmer]. The Bach (d”h U’Mah), on the other hand, thinks that the Rama subscribes to the approach of Tosafot that Rabbi Akiva’s students died throughout the period between Pesach and Shavuot, excluding 16 days on which tachanun is omitted (the 7 days of Pesach, 6 Shabbatot, 2 days of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and 1 day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan), leaving 33 days. Therefore, the Jews accepted to mourn for 33 days. The Maharil (Dinei Hayamim Bein Pesach LiShavuot 7) subscribes to this as well and it is mentioned by the Rama 493:3. </ref> There is a dispute if, according to this approach, one would be allowed to get married on the night of the 33rd.<ref>Mishna Berura 493:11 writes that one should not get married on the night of the 33rd, because we require that he mourn part of the daytime to apply Miktzat Hayom Kekulo. Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:159) however, is lenient for the night before. [https://thehalacha.com/wp-content/uploads/Vol5Issue9.pdf Halachically Speaking Vol. 5 Issue 9] writes that the overwhelming custom is to be lenient. </ref> | This is explained clearly in Beiur Halacha 493 s.v. Yesh Nohagim and [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714562/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Mourning_Period_Of_Sefirat_Ha'omer Rabbi Flug's article on Sefirat HaOmer]. The Bach (d”h U’Mah), on the other hand, thinks that the Rama subscribes to the approach of Tosafot that Rabbi Akiva’s students died throughout the period between Pesach and Shavuot, excluding 16 days on which tachanun is omitted (the 7 days of Pesach, 6 Shabbatot, 2 days of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, and 1 day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan), leaving 33 days. Therefore, the Jews accepted to mourn for 33 days. The Maharil (Dinei Hayamim Bein Pesach LiShavuot 7) subscribes to this as well and it is mentioned by the Rama 493:3. </ref> There is a dispute if, according to this approach, one would be allowed to get married on the night of the 33rd.<ref>Mishna Berura 493:11 writes that one should not get married on the night of the 33rd, because we require that he mourn part of the daytime to apply Miktzat Hayom Kekulo. Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:159) however, is lenient for the night before. [https://thehalacha.com/wp-content/uploads/Vol5Issue9.pdf Halachically Speaking Vol. 5 Issue 9] writes that the overwhelming custom is to be lenient. </ref> | ||
##A third practice is to mourn 33 not consecutive days during the Omer. <ref>Bet Yosef 493:3 quotes Rav Yehoshua Ibn Shuib who records the approach of Tosafot that Rabbi Akiva’s students died throughout the period between Pesach and Shavuot, but only on the 33 days during the Sefira when we do say [[Tachanun]], excluding the 7 days of [[Pesach]], 7 Shabbatot, and 2 days of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar. The Bach 4931 clarifies that really we include the one day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan and exclude one day of Pesach since the last 7 days of Pesach certainly already includes Shabbat. Therefore, there are 16 days when Rabbi Akiva's students didn't die. Therefore, the Jews accepted to mourn for 33 days. The Maharil (Dinei Hayamim Bein Pesach LiShavuot 7) subscribes to this as well and it is mentioned by the Rama 493:3.<br> | ##A third practice is to mourn 33 not consecutive days during the Omer.<ref>Bet Yosef 493:3 quotes Rav Yehoshua Ibn Shuib who records the approach of Tosafot that Rabbi Akiva’s students died throughout the period between Pesach and Shavuot, but only on the 33 days during the Sefira when we do say [[Tachanun]], excluding the 7 days of [[Pesach]], 7 Shabbatot, and 2 days of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar. The Bach 4931 clarifies that really we include the one day of Rosh Chodesh Sivan and exclude one day of Pesach since the last 7 days of Pesach certainly already includes Shabbat. Therefore, there are 16 days when Rabbi Akiva's students didn't die. Therefore, the Jews accepted to mourn for 33 days. The Maharil (Dinei Hayamim Bein Pesach LiShavuot 7) subscribes to this as well and it is mentioned by the Rama 493:3.<br> | ||
Magen Avraham 493:5 writes that some observe this practice by mourning from the day after Rosh Chodesh Iyar until Erev Shavuot excluding Lag BaOmer, while others observe this practice by mourning from the first day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar until 3 days before Shavuot. <br> | Magen Avraham 493:5 writes that some observe this practice by mourning from the day after Rosh Chodesh Iyar until Erev Shavuot excluding Lag BaOmer, while others observe this practice by mourning from the first day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar until 3 days before Shavuot. <br> | ||
Based on this tradition, Shu"t Igrot Moshe 1:159 writes, there is a minhag to mourn for 33 non-consecutive days during the sefira. </ref>This practice is followed by some Ashkenazim. <ref>Mishna Brurah 489:5 </ref> | Based on this tradition, Shu"t Igrot Moshe 1:159 writes, there is a minhag to mourn for 33 non-consecutive days during the sefira. </ref> This practice is followed by some Ashkenazim.<ref>Mishna Brurah 489:5 </ref> | ||
###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from the day after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar until Erev [[Shavuot]] excluding [[Lag BaOmer]]. <ref>Magen Avraham 489:5, Mishna Brurah 493:15 </ref> | ###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from the day after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar until Erev [[Shavuot]] excluding [[Lag BaOmer]]. <ref>Magen Avraham 489:5, Mishna Brurah 493:15 </ref> | ||
###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from the first day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar until the third day before [[Shavuot]]. <ref>Rama 493:3, Magen Avraham 489:5 </ref> | ###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from the first day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar until the third day before [[Shavuot]].<ref>Rama 493:3, Magen Avraham 489:5 </ref> | ||
###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from after [[Issru Chag]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Sivan excluding the two days of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and [[Lag BaOmer]]. | ###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] from after [[Issru Chag]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Sivan excluding the two days of [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and [[Lag BaOmer]].<ref>Mishna Brurah 489:15 quoting the Siddur Derech Chaim </ref> | ||
###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] all the days of the Omer expect for [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and Sivan. <ref>Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:159 explains that the reason for this minhag is that it holds that the students of Rabbi Akiva died on all the days between [[Pesach]] and [[Shavuot]] except for the 16 days when one can not say [[Tachanun]] (7 days of [[Pesach]], 6 [[Shabbat]]ot, 3 days of [[Rosh Chodesh]]) and so the minhag forbids getting married and cutting hair the entire Sefira except for [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and Sivan (and [[Pesach]] and [[Shabbat]] are already forbidden to get married). </ref> | ###Some observe this practice by [[mourning]] all the days of the Omer expect for [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and Sivan.<ref>Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:159 explains that the reason for this minhag is that it holds that the students of Rabbi Akiva died on all the days between [[Pesach]] and [[Shavuot]] except for the 16 days when one can not say [[Tachanun]] (7 days of [[Pesach]], 6 [[Shabbat]]ot, 3 days of [[Rosh Chodesh]]) and so the minhag forbids getting married and cutting hair the entire Sefira except for [[Rosh Chodesh]] Iyar and Sivan (and [[Pesach]] and [[Shabbat]] are already forbidden to get married). </ref> | ||
##A fourth minhag followed by some is to observe sefira, in regards to not cutting one's hair, for the entire duration of the sefira from Erev [[Pesach]] until Erev [[Shavuot]].<ref>Arizal quoted by Shaarei Teshuva 493:8</ref> | ##A fourth minhag followed by some is to observe sefira, in regards to not cutting one's hair, for the entire duration of the sefira from Erev [[Pesach]] until Erev [[Shavuot]].<ref>Arizal quoted by Shaarei Teshuva 493:8</ref> | ||
#Some say that one may switch customs from year to year.<ref>In analyzing the different practices, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 1:159) notes that those who observe 33 non-consecutive days are all of the same opinion but they choose different days to observe. Therefore, in theory, one may choose to observe a different set of 33 days from one year to the next. The reason why specific days are chosen for these various minhagim is because there must be uniformity within the same city. In New York, where the inhabitants originate from many different cities and all of the various minhagim are represented, the concern for the violation of lo titgodidu is mitigated and one may follow any of the minhagim. Therefore, one who has the tradition to observe 33 non-consecutive days, may switch from one minhag to another from year to year. Additionally, since the Bach thinks the Rama follows Tosafot, one can, in theory, switch to the minhag of counting the first 33 days. However, one should only do so under extenuating circumstances.<br> | #Some say that one may switch customs from year to year.<ref>In analyzing the different practices, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 1:159) notes that those who observe 33 non-consecutive days are all of the same opinion but they choose different days to observe. Therefore, in theory, one may choose to observe a different set of 33 days from one year to the next. The reason why specific days are chosen for these various minhagim is because there must be uniformity within the same city. In New York, where the inhabitants originate from many different cities and all of the various minhagim are represented, the concern for the violation of lo titgodidu is mitigated and one may follow any of the minhagim. Therefore, one who has the tradition to observe 33 non-consecutive days, may switch from one minhag to another from year to year. Additionally, since the Bach thinks the Rama follows Tosafot, one can, in theory, switch to the minhag of counting the first 33 days. However, one should only do so under extenuating circumstances.<br> | ||
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see Rav Dovid Feinstein as quoted in Shu”t V’Debarta Bam (141 s.v. v’shamati), who says Rav Moshe’s intent with his allowance bishat hadchak gadol refers to an unavoidable situation such as chattan who was drafted to the army before Shavuot, that he can rely on ‘First Sefirah’ and get married after Lag B’Omer. <br> | see Rav Dovid Feinstein as quoted in Shu”t V’Debarta Bam (141 s.v. v’shamati), who says Rav Moshe’s intent with his allowance bishat hadchak gadol refers to an unavoidable situation such as chattan who was drafted to the army before Shavuot, that he can rely on ‘First Sefirah’ and get married after Lag B’Omer. <br> | ||
see [https://ohr.edu/this_week/insights_into_halacha/5879 Rabbi Yehuda Spitz] who discusses this at length</ref> Others argue.<ref>Rabbi Shimon Eider’s Sefer Halachos of Pesach (vol. 2, Ch. 19, pg. 332) who quotes Rav Aharon Kotler as holding that one may not switch ‘Sefirahs’ unless in case of necessity and with Hatarat Nedarim.</ref> | see [https://ohr.edu/this_week/insights_into_halacha/5879 Rabbi Yehuda Spitz] who discusses this at length</ref> Others argue.<ref>Rabbi Shimon Eider’s Sefer Halachos of Pesach (vol. 2, Ch. 19, pg. 332) who quotes Rav Aharon Kotler as holding that one may not switch ‘Sefirahs’ unless in case of necessity and with Hatarat Nedarim.</ref> | ||
#It is permitted for a wife to observe her family’s [[mourning]] period, as long as her husband does not object. <ref>Rav Doniel Neustadt [[Daily Halacha]] Discussion page 219 </ref> | #It is permitted for a wife to observe her family’s [[mourning]] period, as long as her husband does not object.<ref>Rav Doniel Neustadt [[Daily Halacha]] Discussion page 219 </ref> | ||
===Getting Married=== | ===Getting Married=== | ||
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However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 disagrees and feels that one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira. <br> | However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 disagrees and feels that one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira. <br> | ||
Rav Shmuel Vosner (Piskei Shemuot pg. 58) says that one should just go to wish a Mazel Tov but not participate.</ref> However, one may still not shave in such a situation.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe OC 2:95) writes that unless being unable to shave will prevent you from going, it is not permissible to shave. However, if he realized earlier that he would be attending a wedding, he could plan accordingly by changing his custom for just that year, as per the teshuva mentioned above (OC 1:159)</ref> | Rav Shmuel Vosner (Piskei Shemuot pg. 58) says that one should just go to wish a Mazel Tov but not participate.</ref> However, one may still not shave in such a situation.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe OC 2:95) writes that unless being unable to shave will prevent you from going, it is not permissible to shave. However, if he realized earlier that he would be attending a wedding, he could plan accordingly by changing his custom for just that year, as per the teshuva mentioned above (OC 1:159)</ref> | ||
#One may have a wedding within the three days of Shavuot<ref>Yalkut Yosef - Shavuot, page 573 </ref> | #One may have a wedding within the three days of Shavuot.<ref>Yalkut Yosef - Shavuot, page 573 </ref> | ||
===Getting Engaged=== | ===Getting Engaged=== | ||
