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Shiva: Difference between revisions
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# It is permitted for the avel to say kabbalat shabbat normally including lechu niranena, shir hashirim, kegavna, mizmor ldovid hashem roey, each community according to its minhag, besides for bameh madlikin which the avel should skip and say tehillim instead.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16</ref> | # It is permitted for the avel to say kabbalat shabbat normally including lechu niranena, shir hashirim, kegavna, mizmor ldovid hashem roey, each community according to its minhag, besides for bameh madlikin which the avel should skip and say tehillim instead.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16</ref> | ||
# It is permitted for an avel to say shalom aleichem and eshet chayil on Friday night.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16. He has a doubt if it is permitted for them to sing it or any other zemer.</ref> | # It is permitted for an avel to say shalom aleichem and eshet chayil on Friday night.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16. He has a doubt if it is permitted for them to sing it or any other zemer.</ref> | ||
===Leaving the House=== | |||
# During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref> | |||
# If a mourner needs to leave his house he can do so at night when people aren't around.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290), Rama 393:2</ref> | |||
# Even to perform a mitzvah such as attending a milah or wedding an avel may not leave his house during shiva.<ref>The Rosh (responsa 27:2, cited by Bet Yosef 393:2) writes that even though a mourner is obligated in all of the mitzvot, that only includes mitizvot he can do on his own like tzitzit and tefillin. However, attending a wedding or milah as a chesed that isn't a cause for him to leave the house. The Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:2 follow the Rosh in opposition to the Nemukei Yosef (Moed Katan 13b s.v. bmakom) who allows leaving the house for a mitzvah purpose.</ref> | |||
# It is permissible after 3 days to visit another mourner's house and sit on the side of the mourners.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Shulchan Aruch YD 393:1</ref> The Ashkenazic minhag is not to leave the house to visit another mourner.<Ref>Rama YD 393:1 writes that the minhag isn't to visit another mourner's house during shiva since we can't comfort mourners as they used to it is better to be passive and not leave the house.</ref> Similarly, it is permissible for the mourner after 3 days to go to the cemetery for another person's funeral and he stands together with the mourners.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1, Mordechai (Moed Katan no. 895)</ref> | |||
# A mourner within 3 days of the death who is the only mohel available can he leave his house to do a milah. He should first daven at home and at the time of the milah he should go to the shul. However, if it is possible to get another mohel it is forbidden.<ref>Hagahot Ashuri (Moed Katan 3:37). Rama 393:3 quotes the Hagahot Ashuri and the Bet Yosef. However, the Shach 393:6 wonders why the Rama even quoted the Bet Yosef.</ref> who only According to Sephardim it is permitted to be the mohel even if another mohel is available.<ref>Bet Yosef 393:3 writes that since the minhag was to go to shul for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday then certainly to be the mohel it is permitted to leave the house.</ref> | |||
# If the mourner needs to leave the house for a major need such as to prevent a major loss or the government needs him it permissible for him to leave the house.<ref>Tosfot (Moed Katan 29a s.v. im), Mordechai (Avel no. 896), Rama 393:2</ref> | |||
====On Shabbat==== | |||
# The minhag is that the mourner goes to shul on Shabbat.<ref>The Raavad (cited by Tur 393:3) and Kol Bo (114, cited by Bet Yosef 393:4) held that a mourner doesn't leave his house the week of shiva including Shabbat. The Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef) and Rosh (Moed Katan 3:46) disagree and write that the minhag was to go to shul on Shabbat. Shulchan Aruch 393:3 follows the Ramban and Rosh that an avel can leave the house on Shabbat. Rama agrees.</ref> | |||
==Tefillin for a Mourner== | ==Tefillin for a Mourner== | ||
