Shiva
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Informing about a death
- One should not tell someone that one of his or her relatives died, however, if he’s asked, one may not lie but should say something vague which implies this. [1] Nowadays, the practice is to tell close relatives of the deceased in order that they would be able to attend the Levaya. Some put up signs informing people about a person’s death. [2]
Comforting the mourner
- It is a great Mitzvah to comfort a mourner. [3]
- The comforters should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak. [4]
- A mourner does not have to stand up for guests even for a prince. However, if the mourner did stand one should not tell him to sit because it is a bad omen.[5]
- One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.[6]
Davening at a Shiva Minyan
- The minhag is to say Tefillim chapter 49 after Shacharit and Mincha. It is good also to learn mishnayot there for the Iylui Nishama. [7]
