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Shiva: Difference between revisions

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# A woman may prepare herself for hefsek tahara before shiva nekiyim during shiva by washing that area and between her legs even with hot water.<ref>Even though the Rama 381:5 doesn't allow this washing to prepare for the hefsek tahara during shiva except during shloshim, the Shach 381:3 and Taz 381:2 quote the Masat Binyamin who allows washing that area and between her legs even with hot water during shiva. Badei Hashulchan 381:38 and Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 162) agree with the Masat Binyamin.</ref>
# A woman may prepare herself for hefsek tahara before shiva nekiyim during shiva by washing that area and between her legs even with hot water.<ref>Even though the Rama 381:5 doesn't allow this washing to prepare for the hefsek tahara during shiva except during shloshim, the Shach 381:3 and Taz 381:2 quote the Masat Binyamin who allows washing that area and between her legs even with hot water during shiva. Badei Hashulchan 381:38 and Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 162) agree with the Masat Binyamin.</ref>
===Learning Torah and Getting Aliyot===
===Learning Torah and Getting Aliyot===
# An avel shouldn't get an aliyah even on Shabbat.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 400:1, Badei Hashulchan biurim 400:1 s.v. sh'im</ref> On Shabbat if they already called him up for an aliyah he should take it since refraining from taking it would be a public sign of mourning on Shabbat.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 400:1</ref>
# It is forbidden for a mourner in shiva to learn Torah including Tanach, Mishna, Gemara, Halacha, and Midrash.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:1</ref> However, it is permitted to learn by himself Iyov, Kinot, the sad parts of Yirmiyahu, and the laws of mourning.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:4</ref>
# It is permitted to get an aliyah on simchat torah otherwise it would be considered a display of public mourning on yom tov.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:23:3:7</ref>
# If many people need the mourner to give a shiur it is permissible for him to teach Torah during shiva. The Ashkenazic minhag is not to give a shiur to one's students.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:1 and Rama</ref>
# Where the minhag is to give an aliyah to the father of a baby, if he had a baby when he was in shiva, he can get an aliyah otherwise it would considered a public display of mourning.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2, p. 232) based on Shulchan Aruch 400:1</ref>
# It is forbidden for an to get an aliyah even if he's the only kohen in the shul.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:2</ref>
# It is permitted for an avel during shiva to learn [[Shenayim Mikra]] on Shabbat since it is like kriyat shema since it is an obligation upon him.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 400:1</ref> If he doesn't do targum he can do Rashi instead.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:15</ref>
# The Sephardic minhag is that the mourner during shiva specifically isn't the shaliach tzibur.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:3</ref>
===Davening===
# A child who is in mourning shouldn't be held up from his learning during shiva because there is no chinuch on Aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:5, Shach 384:5</ref>
# It is permitted for the avel to say kabbalat shabbat normally including lechu niranena, shir hashirim, kegavna, mizmor ldovid hashem roey, each community according to its minhag, besides for bameh madlikin which the avel should skip and say tehillim instead.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16</ref>
# It is permitted for an avel to say shalom aleichem and eshet chayil on Friday night.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 400:16. He has a doubt if it is permitted for them to sing it or any other zemer.</ref>
===Leaving the House===
===Leaving the House===
# During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref>
# During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref>
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# A mourner within 3 days of the death who is the only mohel available can he leave his house to do a milah. He should first daven at home and at the time of the milah he should go to the shul. However, if it is possible to get another mohel it is forbidden.<ref>Hagahot Ashuri (Moed Katan 3:37). Rama 393:3 quotes the Hagahot Ashuri and the Bet Yosef. However, the Shach 393:6 wonders why the Rama even quoted the Bet Yosef.</ref> who only According to Sephardim it is permitted to be the mohel even if another mohel is available.<ref>Bet Yosef 393:3 writes that since the minhag was to go to shul for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday then certainly to be the mohel it is permitted to leave the house.</ref>
# A mourner within 3 days of the death who is the only mohel available can he leave his house to do a milah. He should first daven at home and at the time of the milah he should go to the shul. However, if it is possible to get another mohel it is forbidden.<ref>Hagahot Ashuri (Moed Katan 3:37). Rama 393:3 quotes the Hagahot Ashuri and the Bet Yosef. However, the Shach 393:6 wonders why the Rama even quoted the Bet Yosef.</ref> who only According to Sephardim it is permitted to be the mohel even if another mohel is available.<ref>Bet Yosef 393:3 writes that since the minhag was to go to shul for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday then certainly to be the mohel it is permitted to leave the house.</ref>
# If the mourner needs to leave the house for a major need such as to prevent a major loss or the government needs him it permissible for him to leave the house.<ref>Tosfot (Moed Katan 29a s.v. im), Mordechai (Avel no. 896), Rama 393:2</ref>
# If the mourner needs to leave the house for a major need such as to prevent a major loss or the government needs him it permissible for him to leave the house.<ref>Tosfot (Moed Katan 29a s.v. im), Mordechai (Avel no. 896), Rama 393:2</ref>
====On Shabbat====
# The minhag is that the mourner goes to shul on Shabbat.<ref>The Raavad (cited by Tur 393:3) and Kol Bo (114, cited by Bet Yosef 393:4) held that a mourner doesn't leave his house the week of shiva including Shabbat. The Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef) and Rosh (Moed Katan 3:46) disagree and write that the minhag was to go to shul on Shabbat. Shulchan Aruch 393:3 follows the Ramban and Rosh that an avel can leave the house on Shabbat. Rama agrees.</ref>


==Tefillin for a Mourner==
==Tefillin for a Mourner==
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