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Shiva: Difference between revisions
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→When Aveilus Begins and Ends
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# There is a dispute regarding a boy who turns thirteen or a girl who turns twelve during the week or month after the burial of his/her relative, but the practice is for such a person to not observe aveilus at all.<ref>Rosh Moed Kattan 3:96, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 396, Taz 396:2</ref> | # There is a dispute regarding a boy who turns thirteen or a girl who turns twelve during the week or month after the burial of his/her relative, but the practice is for such a person to not observe aveilus at all.<ref>Rosh Moed Kattan 3:96, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 396, Taz 396:2</ref> | ||
== | ==The Beginning and End of "Shiva"== | ||
# Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | # Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | ||
# A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | # A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | ||
# Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> | # If the mourner already davened maariv before shkiah, and then heard of his relative’s death, he cannot count that first day as one of the seven days of aveilus, but begins counting as if it were already past shkiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D 375:11 and Shach 375:15, although cf. Levush there who writes, based on Rama to Y.D. 196:1 that the Rama argues. </ref> | ||
# Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> However, we do not apply this concept to keeping aveilus at night, and instead the mourners have visitors come in the morning and end aveilus when they leave.<ref>This is the practice as described by the Gemara Moed Kattan 21b. Tosfos there (s.v. “Afilu”) believe that the nighttime cannot count as a partial day, but Ramban (Toras HaAdam p. 215) disagrees. Maharam of Rothenberg, quoted in the Rosh (Moed Kattan 3:30) and paskened by Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 395:1) held that the concept of מקצת היום ככולו can be applied to the nighttime in principle, and is therefore relevant for the thirty days of aveilus, but nighttime does not suffice for ending the seven days because of a need to have a seven day count, similar to the count of a niddah. </ref> | |||
==Prohibitions for the Avel== | ==Prohibitions for the Avel== | ||
