Shiva: Difference between revisions

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# One is prohibited to display signs of mourning on Shabbos and Yom Tov.
# One is prohibited to display signs of mourning on Shabbos and Yom Tov.


==Comforting the Mourner==
==Behavior towards Visitors==
# It is a great Mitzvah for others to comfort a mourner (or "avel," person in mourning). <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. As it says in Koheles 7:2, it is better to attend a mourner's house than a party. According to the Rambam in Hilchos Avel 14:1, this mitzvah is derabanan, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner</ref> It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"T Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref>
# Those coming to comfort the avel should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1 </ref>
# A mourner does not have to stand up for his/her guests, even if the guest is a Talmid Chacham or person of high stature.<ref>Moed Kattan 27b, Rama Yoreh Deah 376:1.</ref> However, if the mourner did stand, one need not tell him to sit, and doing so is considered a bad omen.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:2</ref> Some require the avel to stand for a Sefer Torah.<ref>Sh"T Rivevos Efraim 7:230 quotes Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach is quoted as saying that even a mourner must stand for a sefer Torah if it passes by, although the Rivevos Efraim himself appears to be uncertain.</ref>  
# A mourner does not have to stand up for his/her guests, even if the guest is a Talmid Chacham or person of high stature.<ref>Moed Kattan 27b, Rama Yoreh Deah 376:1.</ref> However, if the mourner did stand, one need not tell him to sit, and doing so is considered a bad omen.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:2</ref> Some require the avel to stand for a Sefer Torah.<ref>Sh"T Rivevos Efraim 7:230 quotes Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach is quoted as saying that even a mourner must stand for a sefer Torah if it passes by, although the Rivevos Efraim himself appears to be uncertain.</ref>  
# One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.<ref>Gemara Bava Kama 38a, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:4</ref>


==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")==
==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")==
# The Sages instituted certain additions to [[Bentching]] siad at the beis ha'avel, although customs differ as to the details.<ref>Brachos 46b, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 379:1</ref>
# The Sages instituted certain additions to [[Bentching]] said at the beis ha'avel, although customs differ as to the details.<ref>Brachos 46b, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 379:1</ref>
# The minhag is to say Tefillim chapter 49 after [[Shacharit]] and [[Mincha]].  It is good also to learn mishnayot there for the Iylui Nishama. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:5 </ref>
# The minhag is to say Tehillim chapter 49 after [[Shacharit]] and [[Mincha]].  It is good also to learn mishnayot there for the Iylui Nishama. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:5 </ref>
# Some have the practice not to bring food out of the shiva house<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 376:11</ref> if the person died at home<ref>Tzitz Eliezer (Even Yakov no. 44:4)</ref>, however, there many are lenient about this.<ref>Yosef Ometz p. 192</ref>
# Some have the practice not to bring food out of the shiva house<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 376:11</ref> if the person died at home<ref>Tzitz Eliezer (Even Yakov no. 44:4)</ref>. However, many are lenient about this.<ref>Yosef Ometz p. 192</ref>


==Sources==
==Sources==
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[[Category:Mourning]]
[[Category:Mourning]]
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