Shiva: Difference between revisions
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# A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | # A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | ||
===Completion of Shiva=== | ===Completion of Shiva=== | ||
# On the seventh day of the mourning after the comforters leave the mourner can get up and that completes the shiva as part of the seventh day is considered like the whole day.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 395:1. The Tur 395 cites a dispute if we apply the principle of a part of the day counts like the full day at night. The Bet Yosef quotes the Ramban who holds that it does count but the Tosfot, Rosh, and Maharam hold it doesn't count. Shulchan Aruch follows the Maharam.</ref> | # On the seventh day of the mourning after the comforters leave the mourner can get up and that completes the shiva as part of the seventh day is considered like the whole day.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 395:1. The Tur 395 cites a dispute if we apply the principle of a part of the day counts like the full day at night. The Bet Yosef quotes the Ramban (Torat Haadam Shaar Haavel, Inyan Haavelut s.v. amar rav amram n. 82) who holds that it does count but the Tosfot, Rosh, and Maharam hold it doesn't count. Shulchan Aruch follows the Maharam.</ref> | ||
# If someone dies on Sunday and the shiva is completed on Shabbat, private aveilut is observed on Shabbat until after Shacharit Shabbat morning.<ref>Taz 402:5, Shach 402:4</ref> | # If someone dies on Sunday and the shiva is completed on Shabbat, private aveilut is observed on Shabbat until after Shacharit Shabbat morning.<ref>Taz 402:5, Shach 402:4</ref> | ||
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# learning Torah<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids learning Torah when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 384:1</ref> | # learning Torah<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids learning Torah when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 384:1</ref> | ||
# greeting others<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids greeting others when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 385:1</ref> | # greeting others<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids greeting others when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 385:1</ref> | ||
# Today, the custom is not to turn over the beds or wrap one's head.<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Yechezkel 24:17, Shulchan Aruch YD 386:1</ref> The custom is for a mourner to sleep in a bed and not the floor.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 211:1, [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?sits=1&req=31174&st=%u05DC%u05D9%u05E9%u05DF Gesher Hachaim 1:20:10]</ref> | # Today, the custom is not to turn over the beds or wrap one's head.<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Yechezkel 24:17, Shulchan Aruch YD 386:1</ref> The custom is for a mourner to sleep in a bed and not the floor.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 211:1, [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?sits=1&req=31174&st=%u05DC%u05D9%u05E9%u05DF Gesher Hachaim 1:20:10], Chazon Ovadia (Avelut v. 2 p. 255)</ref> | ||
# laundering clothing and wearing freshly laundered clothing<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Shmuel II 14:2, Shulchan Aruch YD 389:1</ref> | # laundering clothing and wearing freshly laundered clothing<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Shmuel II 14:2, Shulchan Aruch YD 389:1</ref> | ||
# haircutting and shaving<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 14b learned from the pasuk in Vayikra 10:6. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch YD 380:1</ref> | # haircutting and shaving<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 14b learned from the pasuk in Vayikra 10:6. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch YD 380:1</ref> | ||
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# The Sephardic minhag is that the mourner during shiva specifically isn't the shaliach tzibur.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:3</ref> | # The Sephardic minhag is that the mourner during shiva specifically isn't the shaliach tzibur.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:3</ref> | ||
# A child who is in mourning shouldn't be held up from his learning during shiva because there is no chinuch on Aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:5, Shach 384:5</ref> | # A child who is in mourning shouldn't be held up from his learning during shiva because there is no chinuch on Aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:5, Shach 384:5</ref> | ||
# If a person's seventh day of Shiva is Shabbat, it is better to wait until the comforters leave and the shiva is complete to do shenayim mikra.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Avelut v. 2 p. 206)</ref> | |||
===Leaving the House=== | ===Leaving the House=== | ||
# During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref> | # During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref> | ||
