Shiva: Difference between revisions
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One whose relative has passed away has an obligation<ref>There is a difference of opinion as to whether this obligation is derabanan or deoraisa, see below.</ref> to engage in several practices of mourning. The week of mourning, which begins (under normal circumstances) from the time of burial and continues for seven days, is colloquially referred to as "shiva" and is associated with several laws and customs. | One whose relative has passed away has an obligation<ref>There is a difference of opinion as to whether this obligation is derabanan or deoraisa, see below.</ref> to engage in several practices of mourning. The week of mourning, which begins (under normal circumstances) from the time of burial and continues for seven days, is colloquially referred to as "shiva" and is associated with several laws and customs. | ||
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# Children under bar mitzvah are not taught to observe aveilus. <ref>Derisha quoted in Taz 340:15 writes that in fact a child should be taught to observe aveilus, as the Gemara (Moed Kattan 26b) indicates that he should be taught to tear keriyah on the deceased. However, Dagul Merevavah there writes that there is no aveilus for children, and this is the common practice.</ref> | # Children under bar mitzvah are not taught to observe aveilus. <ref>Derisha quoted in Taz 340:15 writes that in fact a child should be taught to observe aveilus, as the Gemara (Moed Kattan 26b) indicates that he should be taught to tear keriyah on the deceased. However, Dagul Merevavah there writes that there is no aveilus for children, and this is the common practice.</ref> | ||
# There is a dispute regarding a boy who turns thirteen or a girl who turns twelve during the week or month after the burial of his/her relative, but the practice is for such a person to not observe aveilus at all.<ref>Rosh Moed Kattan 3:96, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 396, Taz 396:2</ref> | # There is a dispute regarding a boy who turns thirteen or a girl who turns twelve during the week or month after the burial of his/her relative, but the practice is for such a person to not observe aveilus at all.<ref>Rosh Moed Kattan 3:96, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 396, Taz 396:2</ref> | ||
#We mourn over the loss of a Jew who wasn’t religious nowadays. <ref>Chazon Ovadia Aveilut v. 1 p. 538. His three reasons are the perhaps he did teshuva (Yad Yitzchak 3:149), perhaps avoiding mourning would lead to ayvah (Maharshag YD 1:25:6), and perhaps he was a tinok she’nishba (Emet LYakov 345:218).</ref> See [[Interactions with Non-Religious Jews]] for details. | |||
==The Beginning and End of "Shiva"== | ==The Beginning and End of "Shiva"== | ||
# Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | # Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | ||
# If the mourner already davened maariv before shkiah, and then heard of his relative’s death, he cannot count that first day as one of the seven days of aveilus, but begins counting as if it were already past shkiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D 375:11 and Shach 375:15, although cf. Levush there who writes, based on Rama to Y.D. 196:1 that the Rama argues. </ref> | # If the mourner already davened maariv before shkiah, and then heard of his relative’s death, he cannot count that first day as one of the seven days of aveilus, but begins counting as if it were already past shkiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D 375:11 and 402:11 and Shach 375:15, although cf. Levush there who writes, based on Rama to Y.D. 196:1 that the Rama argues. </ref> | ||
# Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> However, we do not apply this concept to keeping aveilus at night, and instead the mourners have visitors come in the morning and end aveilus when they leave.<ref>This is the practice as described by the Gemara Moed Kattan 21b. Tosfos there (s.v. “Afilu”) believe that the nighttime cannot count as a partial day, but Ramban (Toras HaAdam p. 215) disagrees. Maharam of Rothenberg, quoted in the Rosh (Moed Kattan 3:30) and paskened by Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 395:1) held that the concept of מקצת היום ככולו can be applied to the nighttime in principle, and is therefore relevant for the thirty days of aveilus, but nighttime does not suffice for ending the seven days because of a need to have a seven day count, similar to the count of a niddah. </ref> | # Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> However, we do not apply this concept to keeping aveilus at night, and instead the mourners have visitors come in the morning and end aveilus when they leave.<ref>This is the practice as described by the Gemara Moed Kattan 21b. Tosfos there (s.v. “Afilu”) believe that the nighttime cannot count as a partial day, but Ramban (Toras HaAdam p. 215) disagrees. Maharam of Rothenberg, quoted in the Rosh (Moed Kattan 3:30) and paskened by Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 395:1) held that the concept of מקצת היום ככולו can be applied to the nighttime in principle, and is therefore relevant for the thirty days of aveilus, but nighttime does not suffice for ending the seven days because of a need to have a seven day count, similar to the count of a niddah. </ref> | ||
===If a Relative Doesn't Go to the Funeral=== | ===If a Relative Doesn't Go to the Funeral=== | ||
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# A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | # A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | ||
===Completion of Shiva=== | ===Completion of Shiva=== | ||
# On the seventh day of the mourning after the comforters leave the mourner can get up and that completes the shiva as part of the seventh day is considered like the whole day.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 395:1. The Tur 395 cites a dispute if we apply the principle of a part of the day counts like the full day at night. The Bet Yosef quotes the Ramban who holds that it does count but the Tosfot, Rosh, and Maharam hold it doesn't count. Shulchan Aruch follows the Maharam.</ref> | # On the seventh day of the mourning after the comforters leave the mourner can get up and that completes the shiva as part of the seventh day is considered like the whole day.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 395:1. The Tur 395 cites a dispute if we apply the principle of a part of the day counts like the full day at night. The Bet Yosef quotes the Ramban (Torat Haadam Shaar Haavel, Inyan Haavelut s.v. amar rav amram n. 82) who holds that it does count but the Tosfot, Rosh, and Maharam hold it doesn't count. Shulchan Aruch follows the Maharam.</ref> | ||
# If someone dies on Sunday and the shiva is completed on Shabbat, private aveilut is observed on Shabbat until after Shacharit Shabbat morning.<ref>Taz 402:5, Shach 402:4</ref> | # If someone dies on Sunday and the shiva is completed on Shabbat, private aveilut is observed on Shabbat until after Shacharit Shabbat morning.<ref>Taz 402:5, Shach 402:4</ref> | ||
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# learning Torah<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids learning Torah when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 384:1</ref> | # learning Torah<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids learning Torah when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 384:1</ref> | ||
# greeting others<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids greeting others when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 385:1</ref> | # greeting others<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a forbids greeting others when one is a mourner based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 24:17. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 385:1</ref> | ||
# Today, the custom is not to turn over the beds or wrap one's head.<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Yechezkel 24:17, Shulchan Aruch YD 386:1</ref> The custom is for a mourner to sleep in a bed and not the floor.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 211:1, [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?sits=1&req=31174&st=%u05DC%u05D9%u05E9%u05DF Gesher Hachaim 1:20:10]</ref> | # Today, the custom is not to turn over the beds or wrap one's head.<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Yechezkel 24:17, Shulchan Aruch YD 386:1</ref> The custom is for a mourner to sleep in a bed and not the floor.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 211:1, [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?sits=1&req=31174&st=%u05DC%u05D9%u05E9%u05DF Gesher Hachaim 1:20:10], Chazon Ovadia (Avelut v. 2 p. 255)</ref> | ||
# laundering clothing and wearing freshly laundered clothing<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Shmuel II 14:2, Shulchan Aruch YD 389:1</ref> | # laundering clothing and wearing freshly laundered clothing<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 15a based on Shmuel II 14:2, Shulchan Aruch YD 389:1</ref> | ||
# haircutting and shaving<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 14b learned from the pasuk in Vayikra 10:6. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch YD 380:1</ref> | # haircutting and shaving<ref>Gemara Moed Katan 14b learned from the pasuk in Vayikra 10:6. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch YD 380:1</ref> | ||
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# The Sephardic minhag is that the mourner during shiva specifically isn't the shaliach tzibur.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:3</ref> | # The Sephardic minhag is that the mourner during shiva specifically isn't the shaliach tzibur.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:3</ref> | ||
# A child who is in mourning shouldn't be held up from his learning during shiva because there is no chinuch on Aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:5, Shach 384:5</ref> | # A child who is in mourning shouldn't be held up from his learning during shiva because there is no chinuch on Aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 384:5, Shach 384:5</ref> | ||
# If a person's seventh day of Shiva is Shabbat, it is better to wait until the comforters leave and the shiva is complete to do shenayim mikra.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Avelut v. 2 p. 206)</ref> | |||
===Leaving the House=== | ===Leaving the House=== | ||
# During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref> | # During shiva it is forbidden for the mourner to leave the house even to go to shul during the week<ref>Although the Mahari Geyitz (cited by Tur 393:3) held that a mourner can leave his house to go to shul each day, the Raavad and Ramban (p. 217, cited by Bet Yosef 393:3) dispute his opinion. The Shulchan Aruch 393:4 follows the Ramban. Yet, he adds that the Sephardic minhag was to leave the house for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday. Pitchei Teshuva 393:2 cites a dispute between the Chaye Adam (Mesevet Moshe 8) and Magen Avraham 696:8 whether the mourner can leave his house if there won't be a minyan at the shiva house in order to participate in kaddish and kedusha.</ref>, to visit another mourner, or visit the cemetery.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Tur and Shulchan Aruch 393:1</ref> The reason for this prohibition is that chazal wanted a mourner not to be distracted from the mourning especially with the company of others.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen (responsa 290)</ref> | ||
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# A mourner within 3 days of the death who is the only mohel available can he leave his house to do a milah. He should first daven at home and at the time of the milah he should go to the shul. However, if it is possible to get another mohel it is forbidden.<ref>Hagahot Ashuri (Moed Katan 3:37). Rama 393:3 quotes the Hagahot Ashuri and the Bet Yosef. However, the Shach 393:6 wonders why the Rama even quoted the Bet Yosef.</ref> who only According to Sephardim it is permitted to be the mohel even if another mohel is available.<ref>Bet Yosef 393:3 writes that since the minhag was to go to shul for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday then certainly to be the mohel it is permitted to leave the house.</ref> | # A mourner within 3 days of the death who is the only mohel available can he leave his house to do a milah. He should first daven at home and at the time of the milah he should go to the shul. However, if it is possible to get another mohel it is forbidden.<ref>Hagahot Ashuri (Moed Katan 3:37). Rama 393:3 quotes the Hagahot Ashuri and the Bet Yosef. However, the Shach 393:6 wonders why the Rama even quoted the Bet Yosef.</ref> who only According to Sephardim it is permitted to be the mohel even if another mohel is available.<ref>Bet Yosef 393:3 writes that since the minhag was to go to shul for kriyat hatorah on Monday and Thursday then certainly to be the mohel it is permitted to leave the house.</ref> | ||
# If the mourner needs to leave the house for a major need such as to prevent a major loss or the government needs him it permissible for him to leave the house.<ref>Tosfot (Moed Katan 29a s.v. im), Mordechai (Avel no. 896), Rama 393:2</ref> | # If the mourner needs to leave the house for a major need such as to prevent a major loss or the government needs him it permissible for him to leave the house.<ref>Tosfot (Moed Katan 29a s.v. im), Mordechai (Avel no. 896), Rama 393:2</ref> | ||
===Laundry=== | |||
# There is a minhag to wear black clothing during the year of aveilut for a parent.<ref>The Maharitz Gayitz (cited by Bet Yosef 345:6) writes that the minhag is that mourners wear black. Rosh (Moed Katan no. 94) and Rambam (Torat Haadam p. 85) agree.</ref> In Israel it isn't the minhag.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3, p. 60). He cites the Radvaz 4:62 who writes the minhag of Egypt was not to wear black.</ref> On Shabbat one should change his clothing to nice non-black clothing.<ref>Ben Ish Chai (Shana Sheniya, Lech Lecha no. 18)</ref> | |||
==Tefillin for a Mourner== | ==Tefillin for a Mourner== | ||
{{Tefillin_for_a_Mourner}} | |||
==Aveilus on Shabbat and Yom Tov== | ==Aveilus on Shabbat and Yom Tov== | ||
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==Behavior towards Visitors== | ==Behavior towards Visitors== | ||
# A mourner does not have to stand up for his/her guests, even if the guest is a Talmid Chacham or person of high stature.<ref>Moed Kattan 27b, Rama Yoreh Deah 376:1.</ref> However, if the mourner did stand, one need not tell him to sit, and doing so is considered a bad omen.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:2</ref> | # A mourner does not have to stand up for his/her guests, even if the guest is a Talmid Chacham or person of high stature.<ref>Moed Kattan 27b, Rama Yoreh Deah 376:1.</ref> However, if the mourner did stand, one need not tell him to sit, and doing so is considered a bad omen.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 376:2, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:2</ref> | ||
# The avel should stand for a Sefer Torah.<ref>Sh"t Rivevos Efraim 7:230 quotes Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach is quoted as saying that even a mourner must stand for a sefer Torah if it passes by, although the Rivevos Efraim himself appears to be uncertain. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 74) agreed with Rav Shlomo Zalman.</ref> | |||
==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")== | ==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")== | ||
See the [[Practices_in_the_Mourner%27s_House]] page. | |||
==If a Relative Missed Mourning during Shiva== | ==If a Relative Missed Mourning during Shiva== | ||
# If someone didn't mourn during shiva intentionally or unintentionally he has to make it up and mourn within thirty days of the death.<ref>The Ramban (p. 216, cited by Bet Yosef 396:1) quotes a Raavad who says that if a person didn't mourn when he was supposed to he has to make it up within thirty days since it is a mitzvah and he didn't fulfill it yet. Shulchan Aruch 396:1 codifies the Raavad.</ref> | # If someone didn't mourn during shiva intentionally or unintentionally he has to make it up and mourn within thirty days of the death.<ref>The Ramban (p. 216, cited by Bet Yosef 396:1) quotes a Raavad who says that if a person didn't mourn when he was supposed to he has to make it up within thirty days since it is a mitzvah and he didn't fulfill it yet. Shulchan Aruch 396:1 codifies the Raavad.</ref> | ||
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* The Taz 396:2 has a third approach. He says that once aveilut was pushed off it is completely pushed off altogether. His proof is from Sanhedrin 47b that the relatives of a person who was killed by Bet Din don't have aveilut. The gemara asks but doesn't have kapara after he is buried and the body is affected by the burial. The second answer of the gemara is that once the aveilut wasn't fit to begin when he was buried, it can't didn't set in afterwards either. | * The Taz 396:2 has a third approach. He says that once aveilut was pushed off it is completely pushed off altogether. His proof is from Sanhedrin 47b that the relatives of a person who was killed by Bet Din don't have aveilut. The gemara asks but doesn't have kapara after he is buried and the body is affected by the burial. The second answer of the gemara is that once the aveilut wasn't fit to begin when he was buried, it can't didn't set in afterwards either. | ||
* The Shulchan Aruch 396:3 follows the opinion of the Rosh, while the Bach 396:2 follows the opinion of the Maharam. The Taz accepts Shulchan Aruch for his own reason, and the Nekudat Hakesef argues with the Taz's proof. The Nekudat Hakesef's distinction is that when the person wasn't fit to be mourned over then the entire aveilut is totally pushed off, however, if there was aveilut but just the relative was exempt at the time then the aveilut can set it afterwards. </ref> | * The Shulchan Aruch 396:3 follows the opinion of the Rosh, while the Bach 396:2 follows the opinion of the Maharam. The Taz accepts Shulchan Aruch for his own reason, and the Nekudat Hakesef argues with the Taz's proof. The Nekudat Hakesef's distinction is that when the person wasn't fit to be mourned over then the entire aveilut is totally pushed off, however, if there was aveilut but just the relative was exempt at the time then the aveilut can set it afterwards. </ref> | ||
==Mourning for Two Relatives Simultaneously== | |||
# If someone had two relatives who passed away he can observe aveilut for both of them at the same time. If they passed away with some separation he starts the second aveilut continues until it would have regularly finished just like if there would not been the first aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 402:9</ref> | |||
==Informing Someone of Bad News== | |||
# It is improper to be the bearer of bad news and as such there is no obligation to tell someone about his relative's death. However, if he is asked if someone died he can say someone ambiguous but he can't lie.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 402:12, Taz 402:8</ref> The Ashkenazic minhag is to inform the sons of the deceased so that they can say kaddish for their father.<ref>Rama YD 402:12</ref> | |||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category:Mourning]] | [[Category:Mourning]] | ||
