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Shiva: Difference between revisions
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→At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")
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==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")== | ==At the Beis Ha'Avel (or "Shiva House")== | ||
# The Sages instituted certain additions to [[ | # The Sages instituted certain additions to [[Birkat Hamazon]] said at the beis ha'avel, although customs differ as to the details.<ref>Brachos 46b, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 379:1</ref> | ||
# The minhag is to say Tehillim chapter 49 after [[Shacharit]] and [[Mincha]]. It is good also to learn mishnayot there for the Iylui Nishama. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:5 </ref> | # The minhag is to say Tehillim chapter 49 after [[Shacharit]] and [[Mincha]]. It is good also to learn mishnayot there for the Iylui Nishama. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:5 </ref> | ||
# Some have the practice not to bring food out of the shiva house<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 376:11</ref> if the person died at home<ref>Tzitz Eliezer (Even Yakov no. 44:4)</ref>. However, many are lenient about this.<ref>Yosef Ometz p. 192</ref> | # Some have the practice not to bring food out of the shiva house<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 376:11</ref> if the person died at home<ref>Tzitz Eliezer (Even Yakov no. 44:4)</ref>. However, many are lenient about this.<ref>Yosef Ometz p. 192</ref> | ||
==If a Relative Missed Mourning during Shiva== | |||
# If someone didn't mourn during shiva intentionally or unintentionally he has to make it up and mourn within thirty days of the death.<ref>The Ramban (p. 216, cited by Bet Yosef 396:1) quotes a Raavad who says that if a person didn't mourn when he was supposed to he has to make it up within thirty days since it is a mitzvah and he didn't fulfill it yet. Shulchan Aruch 396:1 codifies the Raavad.</ref> | |||
# If someone didn't tear keriya he can make it up during shiva but not afterwards. For a parent if someone didn't tear keriya within shiva he can even tear afterwards.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 340:18, 396:1</ref> | |||
# If a person didn't mourn on the first few days but did mourn afterwards, even the beginning days count towards the shiva.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 396:2</ref> | |||
==Chinuch for Mourning== | |||
# If a child's relative died the child doesn't need to observe aveilut as there is no chinuch for aveilut.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 396:3, Dagul Mirvavah 340. See Taz 340:15 who quotes Derisha as arguing that there's chinuch on aveilut.</ref> | |||
# If a child's relative died and the child becomes bar mitzvah'ed within shiva or within shloshim, the child is exempt from mourning altogether.<ref> | |||
* The Maharam (cited by Rosh Moed Katan 3:96) held that once the child becomes bar mitzvah'ed he begins to observe aveilut from that time. His proof is Chullin 87a that if dirt covered blood that was supposed to be covered and then was uncovered he is obligated to cover the blood since a pushed off mitzvah isn't considered completely lost. So too, a child who didn't have to observe aveilut is exempt while he is a minor but once he becomes an adult he is obligated to mourn and a delayed mitzvah isn't completely lost. | |||
* However, the Rosh (Moed Katan 3:96) argued with his teacher; he said that in the case of the blood, the mitzvah wasn't delayed, there was just an obstacle in the way and once the obstacle was removed the mitzvah is in place. However, a child is exempt from aveilut and fulfilling aveilut at a later time is considered a makeup of the original aveilut. Since he was exempt from the original aveilut he is also exempt from the makeup. His proof is from the gemara Chagiga 9a that a child who became bar mitzvah'ed between Pesach and Pesach Sheni he isn't obligated in Pesach Sheni since he was exempt from the original Pesach according to the opinion that Pesach Sheni is a makeup of Pesach. | |||
* The Taz 396:2 has a third approach. He says that once aveilut was pushed off it is completely pushed off altogether. His proof is from Sanhedrin 47b that the relatives of a person who was killed by Bet Din don't have aveilut. The gemara asks but doesn't have kapara after he is buried and the body is affected by the burial. The second answer of the gemara is that once the aveilut wasn't fit to begin when he was buried, it can't didn't set in afterwards either. | |||
* The Shulchan Aruch 396:3 follows the opinion of the Rosh, while the Bach 396:2 follows the opinion of the Maharam. The Taz accepts Shulchan Aruch for his own reason, and the Nekudat Hakesef argues with the Taz's proof. The Nekudat Hakesef's distinction is that when the person wasn't fit to be mourned over then the entire aveilut is totally pushed off, however, if there was aveilut but just the relative was exempt at the time then the aveilut can set it afterwards. </ref> | |||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category:Mourning]] | [[Category:Mourning]] | ||
