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Shiva: Difference between revisions
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→The Beginning and End of "Shiva"
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==The Beginning and End of "Shiva"== | ==The Beginning and End of "Shiva"== | ||
# Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | # Normally, aveilus begins from the end of the burial.<ref>Moed Kattan 27a (and elsewhere), according to R' Yehoshua regarding turning over the bed. Rashi (Kesuvos 4b) as understood by Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 156), holds that aveilus begins from the time that the casket is covered, even before it is placed in the ground, and the burial is only relevant if the body is buried without a casket. However, Shach (Y.D. 373:11) disputes this interpretation of Rashi, and Tosfos (Kesuvos 4b) write that aveilus begin when the stone covering is placed over the grave, or, if there is none, then it begins from the time that the relatives turn away from grave, having considered their burial complete. Bach (Tur Y.D. 375) believes that the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rashi, but the based upon the Shach just cited, most assume that the aveilus does not begin until the end of the burial. According to Badei Hashulchan 375:2 quoting Daas Torah, the burial is not considered complete until the customary mound of earth is made marking the grave.</ref><ref>Although it is true that the aveilus does not begin until the completion of the burial, the period of aninus (at least for the purpose of davening) appears to end beforehand, from the beginning of the burial. Both Magen Avraham (O.C. 71:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 341:28) write that as soon as the body or casket begins to be covered by earth, the relatives may daven.</ref> Technically, the aveilim can keep their leather shoes on until they get home, but the custom is to remove them immediately after the burial.<ref>Ramban Toras HaAdam pg. 154, Shulchan Aruch 375:1. Badei Hashulchan Biurim "ve'achshav" writes that this may in fact be required according to the Magen Avraham O.C. 554:17, but the Aruch Hashulchan 375:5 writes that this is merely a custom which developed in order to symbolically display the onset of aveilus.</ref> | ||
# If the mourner already davened maariv before shkiah, and then heard of his relative’s death, he cannot count that first day as one of the seven days of aveilus, but begins counting as if it were already past shkiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D 375:11 and Shach 375:15, although cf. Levush there who writes, based on Rama to Y.D. 196:1 that the Rama argues. </ref> | # If the mourner already davened maariv before shkiah, and then heard of his relative’s death, he cannot count that first day as one of the seven days of aveilus, but begins counting as if it were already past shkiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D 375:11 and Shach 375:15, although cf. Levush there who writes, based on Rama to Y.D. 196:1 that the Rama argues. </ref> | ||
# Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> However, we do not apply this concept to keeping aveilus at night, and instead the mourners have visitors come in the morning and end aveilus when they leave.<ref>This is the practice as described by the Gemara Moed Kattan 21b. Tosfos there (s.v. “Afilu”) believe that the nighttime cannot count as a partial day, but Ramban (Toras HaAdam p. 215) disagrees. Maharam of Rothenberg, quoted in the Rosh (Moed Kattan 3:30) and paskened by Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 395:1) held that the concept of מקצת היום ככולו can be applied to the nighttime in principle, and is therefore relevant for the thirty days of aveilus, but nighttime does not suffice for ending the seven days because of a need to have a seven day count, similar to the count of a niddah. </ref> | # Aveilus is not practiced for the full seven days, but ends on the morning of the seventh day, because we say that מקצת היום ככולו, part of the last day counts as if it were a whole day.<ref>Moed Kattan 19b</ref> However, we do not apply this concept to keeping aveilus at night, and instead the mourners have visitors come in the morning and end aveilus when they leave.<ref>This is the practice as described by the Gemara Moed Kattan 21b. Tosfos there (s.v. “Afilu”) believe that the nighttime cannot count as a partial day, but Ramban (Toras HaAdam p. 215) disagrees. Maharam of Rothenberg, quoted in the Rosh (Moed Kattan 3:30) and paskened by Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 395:1) held that the concept of מקצת היום ככולו can be applied to the nighttime in principle, and is therefore relevant for the thirty days of aveilus, but nighttime does not suffice for ending the seven days because of a need to have a seven day count, similar to the count of a niddah. </ref> | ||
===If a Relative Doesn't Go to the Funeral=== | |||
# According to Sephardim if a relative isn't going to the funeral but knows when the funeral is going to take place, he may not start aveilut until after the burial. After the fact if the asked a rabbi and the rabbi allowed him to start aveilut they can count those days towards the aveilut.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 100). The Rambam (Avel 1:5) and Shulchan Aruch YD 375:2 rule that if a relative escorts the dead to the end of the city and doesn't continue to travel to the funeral he starts his aveilut immediately as long as the funeral is so far that he doesn't know when the funeral is going to take place. Chazon Ovadia infers that if the relative knows when the funeral is going to take place he can't start observing aveilut before then. He quotes the Maharnach 2:51 and Radbaz 4:63 who also say this.</ref> | |||
# If a relative hears about the death of a relative and he isn't going to be involved in the burial or funeral at all and doesn't know when the funeral is going to take place, some say that he can't start his aveilut until he knows that the burial was complete, while others hold that he starts his aveilut immediately. Most contemporary poskim follow the second opinion.<ref> The Gemara Moed Katan 22a states that if a relative sent the funeral procession on its way to a faraway place once he turns his face from the burial he begins his aveilut. This is codified in Shulchan Aruch 375:2. However, the Rosh (teshuva 27:5) writes that if a person observed aveilut before his relative was buried his aveilut doesn't count. There are two major approaches as to how to explain the difference between the Gemara and the Rosh. | |||
* The Netsiv (Meishiv Dvar YD 27) holds that only if a person was involved with the burial and then sent the funeral procession off he begins his aveilut since he has completed his participation in the burial. However, if a person didn't do anything to contribute to the burial and was in another place he can't begin aveilut until after the burial. | |||
* The Netsiv's son-in-law, Rav Rafael Shapira, quoted by Sdei Chemed (Avelut no. 14) argued that once a person despaired from making any further participation in the burial either because he did his part or because he is so distant that he can't do anything he begins aveilut. However, in the case of the Rosh the relatives didn't give up to do the burial, so they can't begin aveilut yet. | |||
* Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 101) quotes the Chelkat Yakov 1:188, Maharsham 2:260, Shevet Halevi 3:168, and Igrot Moshe YD 1:253 who agreed with Rav Shapira.</ref> | |||
# A relative who is not accompanying the meis to the place of burial begins the aveilus from the time that (s)he turns away from the meis,<ref>Moed Kattan 22a.</ref> as long as the burial is far enough that those relatives will certainly not make it to the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2. Ramban (Toras HaAdam pg. 162, based on Rambam Avel 1:5) writes that this is only the case if the meis is being brought to a faraway city, and according to the Dagul Merevavah to Shach 375:1 is how the Shulchan Aruch paskens. However, the Behag (as quoted by Ramban, ibid.) appears to pasken that the relatives begin aveilus from the time that they turn away regardless of where the burial will be, and the Shulchan Aruch quotes this Behag in Y.D. 399:14. According to the Dagul Merevavah and Chachmas Adam (Matzeves Moshe 9), if the burial occurs in the same city, but a relative turns away from the procession and will certainly not return, such as on erev Yom Tov, this too would be enough to start aveilus.</ref> However, if the burial is being done in the city's cemetery, the aneinus ends without the aveilus beginning until those who were busy with the burial return<ref>Ramabn Toras HaAdam pg. 163, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2 as interpreted by Aruch Hashulchan 375:8 and paskened by Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:253 and Badei Hashulchan 375:11. However, Radbaz Sh"T 4:63 understands that even according to Ramban, once night falls, or once the relatives can be certain that the burial has occurred, they begin aveilus even if the burial occurred within their city despite not being present at the burial itself. See also Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25 regarding contemporary situations. In some situations, if the head of the family does not accompany the meis to the burial, then even the relatives who have stayed behind begin aveilus only after the burial. See Tosfos Moed Kattan 22a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2</ref> | |||
==Prohibitions for the Avel== | ==Prohibitions for the Avel== | ||
