Shalom Zachar: Difference between revisions

==Reasons for Shalom Zachor==

# The shalom zachar is closely related to the teaching that while a baby is developing in its mother's womb it is taught the entire Torah directly from an angel.<ref> Nidda 30b.</ref> Once the baby is born, however, the angel strikes the baby on its mouth which causes the baby to forget everything it had learned. From that moment onwards it becomes a person's lifetime duty to toil in Torah study in order to reclaim this lost knowledge.<ref> Derisha, YD 264.</ref>  

# In some communities the shalom zachar was used as an opportunity for a person to reconcile with his enemies. Indeed the Talmud notes that when a male child enters the world, peace enters the world with him.<ref>Nidda 31b.</ref> In order to do this, people would invite their enemies to the shalom zachar in order to receive their blessings at this auspicious time in their lives. The shalom zachar was then seen as a community-wide celebration both in honor of the child as well as the renewed bonds of friendship between former adversaries.<ref>

| Orchot Chaim, Mila 9. See also: http://www.chaburas.org/shalomz.html.</ref> In fact, another reason why the shalom zachar is held on a Friday night and not on any other day of the week is because Friday night is convenient for most people to attend such an event.<ref>Pri Megadim, M.Z. 444:9; Terumat Hadeshen 269.</ref> According to this approach, the name "shalom zachar" symbolizes that peace, "shalom", comes with the arrival of a baby boy, "zachar".<ref> Noheg K'tzon Yosef, Mila.</ref> A mourner who would ordinarily participate in a particular shalom zachar is permitted to do so as his absence would be a public display of mourning on Shabbat which is forbidden.<ref> Igrot Moshe, YD 3:161.</ref>

# It is ideal for the shalom zachar to be held in the presence of the baby even if he had not yet been discharged from the hospital. This is reminiscent of the halacha that one is not to console mourners outside of the house of mourning.<ref> Teshuvot V'hanhagot 2:202; Otzar Habrit p. 89.</ref> It is also noted that one of the purposes of the shalom zachar is specifically to "visit the infant". Ultimately, however, the shalom zachar may be held even without the presence of the baby. This frequently occurs when a woman gives birth close to Shabbat and must remain in the hospital over Shabbat along with the baby. In such a situation the father of the baby can hold the shalom zachar at home, as usual.<ref> Teshuvot V'hanhagot 2:202; For a discussion on this issue see: Hegyonei Haparasha, Tazria p.208.</ref>

# The shalom zachar gathering is considered to be a seudat mitzva, a meal whose status is a mitzva.<ref> Rema, YD 265:12.</ref> Although in our day only snacks and drinks are generally served at a shalom zachar, in ancient times it was customary to serve an entire meal.<ref> Derisha, OC 305.</ref> There was also a custom to visit the mother on the morning following the shalom zachar to partake of refreshments and wish her mazal tov.<ref> Aruch Hashulchan, YD 265:37. See Tosfot, Moed Katan 28a.</ref> Even in a situation where it is known that the brit will be delayed for quite some time, the shalom zachar should still be held on the Friday night following the birth, though there does exist a custom to postpone the shalom zachar to the Friday night closest to the brit. When a baby is born on Friday night, some families hold the shalom zachar that same night<ref> Pri Megadim, M.Z. 444:9</ref> while others postpone it to the next Friday night, which is the night before the brit will take place.<ref> See Hegyonei Haparasha, Tazria p.208 for more on this.</ref> In the event that a baby boy is born in the week on which [[Yom Kippur]] falls out on Shabbat, the shalom zachar should be held on Thursday night<ref> Rivevot V'yovlot 4:233.</ref> though there are those who hold it on Friday night, as usual, offering guests the opportunity to recite the blessing upon fragrant flowers and spices since food cannot be served.

==Sephardic Custom==

# Sefardic Jews generally celebrate what is known as the "Brit Yitzchak", which is similar to a shalom zachar, but observed on the night before the brit. This is based on the kabbalistic teaching that the night before the brit is considered to be "spiritually dangerous" for the baby. As such, a quorum is gathered in the house and a special Torah study session takes place, usually consisting of passages from the Zohar. A popular feature of the Brit Yitzchak is to gather children from the community around the baby and have them recite the shema together along with the "hamalach" passage.<ref> Bereishit 48:16.</ref> Many Chassidic Jews also observe some form of the "Brit Yitzchak" ceremony, though they call it the "vach nacht", meaning "the night of watching."<ref> Dagul M'revava, YD 178.</ref>

==References==

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