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Shalom Zachar: Difference between revisions

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There is a much-loved Ashkenazi custom to hold a "shalom zachar" in honor of the birth of a baby boy.<ref> Terumat Hadeshen 1:269.</ref> A shalom zachar is an informal [[gathering]] which takes place on the Friday night following the birth, usually at home though it may be held in the synagogue or other location. It is customary to serve a variety of refreshments and spirits at this [[gathering]].<ref> Rema, YD 265:12. The shalom zachar custom is actually quite old and even makes an appearance in the Talmud where it is called the "bei shavua haben" or "bei yeshua haben". See the Gemara Bava Kamma 80a.</ref>
There is a much-loved Ashkenazi custom to hold a "shalom zachar" in honor of the birth of a baby boy.<ref> Terumat Hadeshen 1:269.</ref> A shalom zachar is an informal [[gathering]] which takes place on the Friday night following the birth, usually at home though it may be held in the synagogue or other location. It is customary to serve a variety of refreshments and spirits at this [[gathering]].<ref> Rema, YD 265:12. The shalom zachar custom is actually quite old and even makes an appearance in the Talmud where it is called the "bei shavua haben" or "bei yeshua haben". See the Gemara Bava Kamma 80a.</ref>
==Reasons for Shalom Zachar==
==Reasons for Shalom Zachar==
# The shalom zachar is closely related to the teaching that while a baby is developing in its mother's womb it is taught the entire Torah directly from an angel.<ref> Nidda 30b.</ref> Once the baby is born, however, the angel strikes the baby on its mouth which causes the baby to forget everything it had learned. From that moment onwards it becomes a person's lifetime duty to toil in Torah study in order to reclaim this lost knowledge.<ref> Derisha, YD 264.</ref>  
# The shalom zachar is closely related to the teaching that while a baby is developing in its mother's womb it is taught the entire Torah directly from an angel.<ref> Nidda 30b.</ref> Once the baby is born, however, the angel strikes the baby on its mouth which causes the baby to forget everything it had learned. From that moment onwards it becomes a person's lifetime duty to toil in Torah study in order to reclaim this lost knowledge.<ref> Derisha, YD 265.</ref>  
# Furthermore, once the baby has forgotten all the Torah it had learned, the evil inclination "gets to work" making efforts to thwart the child from studying Torah or performing mitzvot.  So too, it is taught that one of the reasons that a brit takes place eight days after birth is in order to allow the baby to observe [[shiva]], the traditional seven days of [[mourning]], over all the Torah knowledge that he lost.<ref>Derisha, YD 264.</ref> Based on all this, the shalom zachar has somewhat of a [[mourning]] aspect to it.<ref> Taz, YD 264:13. See also Brit Avraham cited in Sefer Taamei Haminhagim.</ref>  
# Furthermore, once the baby has forgotten all the Torah it had learned, the evil inclination "gets to work" making efforts to thwart the child from studying Torah or performing mitzvot.  So too, it is taught that one of the reasons that a brit takes place eight days after birth is in order to allow the baby to observe [[shiva]], the traditional seven days of [[mourning]], over all the Torah knowledge that he lost.<ref>Derisha, YD 265.</ref> Based on all this, the shalom zachar has somewhat of a [[mourning]] aspect to it.<ref> Taz, YD 265:13. See also Brit Avraham cited in Sefer Taamei Haminhagim.</ref>  
# In fact, it is taught that the name "shalom zachar" derives from the word "zachar", to remember, meaning that the shalom zachar serves to remind us of the Torah which was forgotten and now must be re-learned from the beginning.<ref> Migdal Oz, in the Introduction, paragraph 16</ref>
# In fact, it is taught that the name "shalom zachar" derives from the word "zachar", to remember, meaning that the shalom zachar serves to remind us of the Torah which was forgotten and now must be re-learned from the beginning.<ref> Migdal Oz, in the Introduction, paragraph 16</ref>
## As a result of the [[mourning]] aspect to the shalom zachar it is customary to serve chick peas at the shalom zachar. Chick peas are associated with [[mourning]] as round foods symbolizes the circle of life. <ref> Otzar Habrit p. 89; Zocher Habrit 3:6.</ref> Another reason chick peas are served at a shalom zachar is because the Yiddish word for chick peas is "arbis" which recalls God<nowiki>’</nowiki>s promise to Avraham, "I shall multiply (arbe) your seed like the stars of the Heavens."<ref> Bereishit 22:17.</ref>
## As a result of the [[mourning]] aspect to the shalom zachar it is customary to serve chick peas at the shalom zachar. Chick peas are associated with [[mourning]] as round foods symbolizes the circle of life. <ref> Otzar Habrit p. 89; Zocher Habrit 3:6.</ref> Another reason chick peas are served at a shalom zachar is because the Yiddish word for chick peas is "arbis" which recalls God<nowiki>’</nowiki>s promise to Avraham, "I shall multiply (arbe) your seed like the stars of the Heavens."<ref> Bereishit 22:17.</ref>
==Another explanation==
==Another explanation==
# It is also explained that the shalom zachar is intended to be an event which welcomes the baby to the first [[Shabbat]] of his life. Based on the teaching that all [[blessings]] for the coming week have their source in the preceding [[Shabbat]], the shalom zachar is also an opportunity to immerse oneself in the [[blessings]] and spiritual benefits which are said to be flowing upon the baby and the family in honor of the brit.<ref>Sh"t Teshuvot V'hanhagot 2:202.</ref> Other sources explain that the shalom zachar is an event whose purpose is to give thanks that the baby survived the birthing process.<ref> Rabbeinu Channanel, Tosfot, Bava Kamma 80a.</ref>
# It is also explained that the shalom zachar is intended to be an event which welcomes the baby to the first [[Shabbat]] of his life. Based on the teaching that all [[blessings]] for the coming week have their source in the preceding [[Shabbat]], the shalom zachar is also an opportunity to immerse oneself in the [[blessings]] and spiritual benefits which are said to be flowing upon the baby and the family in honor of the brit.<ref>Sh"t Teshuvot V'hanhagot 2:202.</ref> Other sources explain that the shalom zachar is an event whose purpose is to give thanks that the baby survived the birthing process.<ref> Rabbeinu Channanel, Tosfot, Bava Kamma 80a.</ref>
# Additionally, the Midrash compares the [[brit mila]] to the offering of a sacrifice. Just as an animal may not be offered as a sacrifice until it has been with its mother for at least a week, so too, a child may not have his brit until he has been under the careful watch of his mother for a week. This is comparable to the idea of a king who refuses to receive visitors until they have first been introduced to the queen. It is taught that the first [[Shabbat]] of the baby<nowiki>’</nowiki>s life is his introduction to the [[Shabbat]] queen while the brit which will take place in the coming days is his audience with the King, God Himself.<ref>Taz, YD 264:13; Midrash Rabba, Emor.</ref>
# Additionally, the Midrash compares the [[brit mila]] to the offering of a sacrifice. Just as an animal may not be offered as a sacrifice until it has been with its mother for at least a week, so too, a child may not have his brit until he has been under the careful watch of his mother for a week. This is comparable to the idea of a king who refuses to receive visitors until they have first been introduced to the queen. It is taught that the first [[Shabbat]] of the baby<nowiki>’</nowiki>s life is his introduction to the [[Shabbat]] queen while the brit which will take place in the coming days is his audience with the King, God Himself.<ref>Taz, YD 265:13; Midrash Rabba, Emor.</ref>
==Making peace==
==Making peace==
# In some communities the shalom zachar was used as an opportunity for a person to reconcile with his enemies. Indeed the Talmud notes that when a male child enters the world, peace enters the world with him.<ref>Nidda 31b.</ref> In order to do this, people would invite their enemies to the shalom zachar in order to receive their [[blessings]] at this auspicious time in their lives. The shalom zachar was then seen as a community-wide celebration both in honor of the child as well as the renewed bonds of friendship between former adversaries.<ref>
# In some communities the shalom zachar was used as an opportunity for a person to reconcile with his enemies. Indeed the Talmud notes that when a male child enters the world, peace enters the world with him.<ref>Nidda 31b.</ref> In order to do this, people would invite their enemies to the shalom zachar in order to receive their [[blessings]] at this auspicious time in their lives. The shalom zachar was then seen as a community-wide celebration both in honor of the child as well as the renewed bonds of friendship between former adversaries.<ref>