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#The custom is not to get married during the Sefirat Haomer period.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 493:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 428 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 493:1), Chazon Ovadia (Yom Tov pg. 253-254)and Yabia Omer 3:26. See Nisuin Kehilchatam 5:19 for lengthier discussion. </ref> For exactly when this applies and the different customs, see above [[Sefirat_HaOmer#When.3F|When?]]. | #The custom is not to get married during the Sefirat Haomer period.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 493:1, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 428 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 493:1), Chazon Ovadia (Yom Tov pg. 253-254)and Yabia Omer 3:26. See Nisuin Kehilchatam 5:19 for lengthier discussion. </ref> For exactly when this applies and the different customs, see above [[Sefirat_HaOmer#When.3F|When?]]. | ||
#If a marriage involves a couple with different customs, for example, one side who is Ashkenazic and one side Sephardic, the custom of the husband should be followed. <ref>Chazon Ovadia (Yom Tov pg. 256), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg. 429), Rav Elyashiv (Piskei Shemuot pg. 59). However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 questions this, as following the customs of the husband would only apply after marriage. </ref> | #If a marriage involves a couple with different customs, for example, one side who is Ashkenazic and one side Sephardic, the custom of the husband should be followed. <ref>Chazon Ovadia (Yom Tov pg. 256), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg. 429), Rav Elyashiv (Piskei Shemuot pg. 59). However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 questions this, as following the customs of the husband would only apply after marriage. </ref> | ||
#If one is invited to a wedding which takes place during a time of the sefira when one's custom is to observe the practices of [[mourning]], and the one who is getting married has the custom that it is permissible to get married then, one should not refrain from going to the wedding because of the sefira.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe OC 1:159), Rav Soloveitchik (quoted in Nefesh Harav pg. 192), Rav Schachter ([https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/857286/rabbi-hershel-schachter/minhagei-sefirah/ Minhagei Sefirah] at ~20 minutes), Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Shalmei Simcha page 84 and Halichos Shlomo 11:19), Rav Elyashiv (Ashrei Haish 3:65:30), Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky (Emet L’yaakov 493: note 465), Rav Shalom Messas (Shemesh U’Magen OC 68). Rav Moshe’s rationale is that once a marriage has taken place, it creates an obligation of simcha. For example, a couple who gets married at the end of Nisan is allowed to continue with sheva berachot festivities, which should have been forbidden for the other participants. Additionally, Shulchan Aruch writes that we don’t penalize those who violate the minhag, and there would be no greater penalty than having nobody to celebrate with. <br> | #If one is invited to a wedding which takes place during a time of the sefira when one's custom is to observe the practices of [[mourning]], and the one who is getting married has the custom that it is permissible to get married then, one should not refrain from going to the wedding because of the sefira.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe OC 1:159 s.v. heneh, 2:95 s.v. ubdvar), Rav Soloveitchik (quoted in Nefesh Harav pg. 192), Rav Schachter ([https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/857286/rabbi-hershel-schachter/minhagei-sefirah/ Minhagei Sefirah] at ~20 minutes), Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Shalmei Simcha page 84 and Halichos Shlomo 11:19), Rav Elyashiv (Ashrei Haish 3:65:30), Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky (Emet L’yaakov 493: note 465), Rav Nissim Karelitz (Piskei Shemuot p. 58), Rav Shalom Messas (Shemesh U’Magen OC 68), Nitai Gavriel (Pesach 3:51:6). Rav Moshe’s rationale is that once a marriage has taken place, it creates an obligation of simcha. For example, a couple who gets married at the end of Nisan is allowed to continue with sheva berachot festivities, which should have been forbidden for the other participants. Additionally, Shulchan Aruch writes that we don’t penalize those who violate the minhag, and there would be no greater penalty than having nobody to celebrate with. <br> | ||
[https://thehalacha.com/wp-content/uploads/Vol5Issue9.pdf Halachically Speaking Vol. 5 Issue 9] quotes Rav Belsky who points out that one who attends a wedding during the time he is observing the restrictions of sefira may only dance after the chattan and kallah come out because before they come out the dancing is not considered to be making them happy. <br> | [https://thehalacha.com/wp-content/uploads/Vol5Issue9.pdf Halachically Speaking Vol. 5 Issue 9] quotes Rav Belsky who points out that one who attends a wedding during the time he is observing the restrictions of sefira may only dance after the chattan and kallah come out because before they come out the dancing is not considered to be making them happy. <br> | ||
However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 disagrees and feels that one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira. <br> | However, Minchat Yitzchak 4:84 disagrees and feels that one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira. <br> | ||
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===Getting Engaged=== | ===Getting Engaged=== | ||
#It's permissible to get engaged during the Sefirah.<ref>Mishna Brura 493:3 </ref> However one may not have musical instruments and one shouldn't dance. <ref>Nitei Gavriel (Pesach v. 3, 51:5), Maamer Mordechai of Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Sefirat HaOmer #45), Hanisuin Kihilchatam pg. 122 and | #It's permissible to get engaged during the Sefirah.<ref>Mishna Brura 493:3 </ref> However, one may not have musical instruments and one shouldn't dance.<ref>Magen Avraham 493:1, Mishna Brurah 493:3, Rav Shlomo Zalman (Halichot Shlomo 11:18), Nitei Gavriel (Pesach v. 3, 51:5), Maamer Mordechai of Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Sefirat HaOmer #45), and Hanisuin Kihilchatam pg. 122. Rav Shlomo Zalman permits singing at an engagement party during sefira, but not music and dancing. Yosef Yosef (Moadim p. 430) quotes that Rav Ovadia in Kol Sinai originally permitted music and dancing at an engagement party during sefira, but later changed his mind and held it was forbidden. </ref> | ||
#In general, it is permitted to have meals with friends during the sefira unlike regular mourning. <ref>Shulchan Aruch HaRav 493:1</ref> | #In general, it is permitted to have meals with friends during the sefira unlike regular mourning.<ref>Shulchan Aruch HaRav 493:1</ref> | ||
===Celebrating a Bar Mitzva=== | ===Celebrating a Bar Mitzva=== | ||
