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Revenge and Bearing a Grudge (Lo Tikom veLo Titor): Difference between revisions
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Revenge and Bearing a Grudge (Lo Tikom veLo Titor) (view source)
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# It isn't considered revenge not to go a person's wedding because they didn't come to yours if your decision is based on a calculation that one isn't such a close friend that you feel you need to go to the wedding.<ref>Hanekama Vehanechama pp. 28-9 writes that a person doesn't need to go to every wedding. Often a person can tell whether a person is a close friend or not if they came to one's wedding. If so, it is reasonable to use that as a factor to determine whether one should go to their wedding. That calculation isn't considered taking revenge it is being rational as long as one's decision isn't coming from a feeling of vengeance.</ref> | # It isn't considered revenge not to go a person's wedding because they didn't come to yours if your decision is based on a calculation that one isn't such a close friend that you feel you need to go to the wedding.<ref>Hanekama Vehanechama pp. 28-9 writes that a person doesn't need to go to every wedding. Often a person can tell whether a person is a close friend or not if they came to one's wedding. If so, it is reasonable to use that as a factor to determine whether one should go to their wedding. That calculation isn't considered taking revenge it is being rational as long as one's decision isn't coming from a feeling of vengeance.</ref> | ||
==Retaliation== | |||
#If someone calls you a wicked person, slave, bastard (mamzer), adulterer, thief, informer, or scoundrel, some poskim hold that it is permitted to hit them.<ref>Meiri (Kiddushin 28a), Maharam M'rozenburk (Nimukei Maharam Mrozenburk at the end of Mahari Vayil p. 178), Darkei Moshe CM 420:5. The source for this in the gemara presumably is Bava Metsia 71a, however, Rashi and Tosfot seem to forbid retaliation for an insult.</ref> Others forbid it.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Harav (Kuntres Achron Nizkei Haguf n. 1)</ref> | |||
==Bearing a Grudge== | ==Bearing a Grudge== | ||
# Bearing a Grudge: Reuven asked Shimon to borrow his shovel, but Shimon didn't want to. <ref> The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch changes the | # Bearing a Grudge: Reuven asked Shimon to borrow his shovel, but Shimon didn't want to.<ref> The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch changes the language slightly from the first case. </ref> Eventually, Shimon came to Reuven to ask him to borrow an object. Reuven replied: "I am not like you, and I won't respond in kind. [I will loan to you, even though you didn't loan to me.]"<ref> Yoma 23a, Rashi Vayikra 19:18, Rambam Deot 7:8, Sefer Hachinuch no. 242, Smag no. 12, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 30:9 </ref> | ||
# In this situation, Reuven should erase the matter from his heart completely. This makes human interaction possible <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 30:9 citing the Rambam </ref> | # In this situation, Reuven should erase the matter from his heart completely. This makes human interaction possible.<ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 30:9 citing the Rambam </ref> | ||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<References/> | <References/> | ||
[[Category:Between Man And His Fellow]] | [[Category:Between Man And His Fellow]] | ||
