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Prohibition to Lie: Difference between revisions
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==Origin== | ==Origin== | ||
# The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from [[lying]]. <ref> Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, | # The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from [[lying]]. <ref> Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Mishna Brurah O.C. 25:14, Mesilas Yesharim 11. Refer to Rambam Sefer Hamitzvot Lo Sasei 281 who includes the issur of [[lying]] in the issur of saying Hashem's name in vain regarding bais din. [[Lying]] is disgusted in the eyes of all, and there is nothing more disgusting than [[lying]]. Hashem is truth, and beracha only goes on someone who wants to go in the ways of Hashem. Therefore, the Torah tells us to further ourselves from [[lying]]. Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 558, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24 write that no other aveirah does the Torah use the words "to further" except for [[lying]] therefore one must be careful with this even when it would only appear to be a lie. The issur is not only not to say a lie but to further oneself from a lie (Niv Sefasayim page 10). </ref> | ||
# The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,<ref>Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas [[Shavuos]] 30b. </ref> or if it might cause damage.<ref>Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134. </ref> (According to this [[lying]] is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim<ref>Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth. </ref> hold there is an issur even if the [[lying]] does not fall into the above categories.<ref>Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, [[Chinuch]] Mitzvah 74, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what [[lying]] and truth are. </ref> | # The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,<ref>Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas [[Shavuos]] 30b. </ref> or if it might cause damage.<ref>Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134. </ref> (According to this [[lying]] is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim<ref>Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth. </ref> hold there is an issur even if the [[lying]] does not fall into the above categories.<ref>Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, [[Chinuch]] Mitzvah 74, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what [[lying]] and truth are. </ref> | ||
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# One is permitted to lie if it will to prevent a chilul Hashem, a desecration of Hashem's name. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom 2: pg. 55 </ref> | # One is permitted to lie if it will to prevent a chilul Hashem, a desecration of Hashem's name. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom 2: pg. 55 </ref> | ||
==Children== | ==Children== | ||
# One should teach children that [[lying]] is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125. </ref> One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.<ref>Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos [[Shavuos]] 12:8, Pele Yoetz [[Sheker]]pg. 559, Orach Mesharim 9:2, [[Chinuch]] Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth. </ref> One who hears his children talking loshon hara, [[lying]] etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.<ref> | # One should teach children that [[lying]] is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125. </ref> One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.<ref>Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos [[Shavuos]] 12:8, Pele Yoetz [[Sheker]]pg. 559, Orach Mesharim 9:2, [[Chinuch]] Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth. </ref> One who hears his children talking loshon hara, [[lying]] etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.<ref>Mishna Brurah 443:3. The Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 252.:12 says to only tell children true stories. </ref> One should try to avoid pretending to eat food in order to make the child eat as well since this will teach the child that not doing the truth is allowed.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10. </ref> | ||
# Many times one is learning with a child and he comes to a point where if he says the real peshat it will not be tzniusdik. The question is if one is allowed to veer from the real peshat? The opinion of the poskim is that one should say the real peshat and nothing will happen to the child by doing so.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 84 quoting the opinion of both Harav Elyashiv Shlita and Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref> | # Many times one is learning with a child and he comes to a point where if he says the real peshat it will not be tzniusdik. The question is if one is allowed to veer from the real peshat? The opinion of the poskim is that one should say the real peshat and nothing will happen to the child by doing so.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 84 quoting the opinion of both Harav Elyashiv Shlita and Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref> | ||
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==When it is permitted to lie? == | ==When it is permitted to lie? == | ||
# The Gemorah<ref>Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Magen Avraham 156:2, Pri Megadim Eishel Avraham 156, | # The Gemorah<ref>Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Magen Avraham 156:2, Pri Megadim Eishel Avraham 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 41-59 in great depth. Some say this is only permitted once a year (Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 59). The Divrei Torah 2:67 says this Gemorah is talking about three areas where joking is done, starting off learning with a joke, [[Purim]], and Succos. </ref> says for three things one is permitted to lie.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 48 if doing so is optional or a mitzvah. Refer to Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b pages 70-70b who says these three things are said in a way which can be interrupted as the truth as well. The Machtzis Ha’shekel 156 says some say it is a mitzvah while others say one is allowed to lie in the above situations. </ref> 1. [[Lying]] regarding a mesechta 2. [[Lying]] regarding hilchos tznius. 3. [[Lying]] regarding a guest. There are different interpretations of what this means. Some say if a person asks you if you know a certain mesechtas one is allowed to say no since he is displaying humility.<ref>Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b “b’mesechtas.” Refer to Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 35-37. </ref> If one asks you if you used the bed, you can answer no because of tznius.<ref>Rashi 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Tosfas “b’purya” Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13 and Rashba who have a different explanation of this. Refer to Igros Moshe C.M. 2:61:3. See Ben Yehoyada on Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b for has a novel approach to what this question means. </ref> One may also avoid the truth for other middos as well.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 58. </ref> Others say this means if one asks you on [[Purim]] if you know the difference between cursed Haman and boruch Mordechai you can say no.<ref>Maharsaha Chiddushei Agados Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 52:26. See Moadim V’zemanim 6:109 who explains this opinion. </ref> One who is asked if his host treated him with respect can say no, in order that the host does not receive many unwanted guests.<ref>Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 24a “b’ushpiza,” Tosfas Mesechtas Bava Metziah “b’ushpiza” Nemukei Yosef. Refer to Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. Shita M’keubetzes, Mieri Bav Metziah 23b. Some say this is all permitted because they are included in [[lying]] for peace (Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 43). The custom is always to say the food was good at a guest even if it was not, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 56:36. </ref> Others say when they ask someone a question on an inyun he can say he is learning a different inyun in order that they should not ask on the first inyun.<ref>Refer to Toras Chaim Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b. </ref> | ||
# In the permitted instances of [[lying]] this applies for an un-learned person as well.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 69 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita, see Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307. </ref> Based on the above, one who is asked where he is holding in a certain mesechta can say the daf before the one where he is really holding if he does not know that current Gemorah, but does know the previous daf. The reason is since he may be embarrassed if he is asked the Gemorah that he does not know.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 175. </ref> It is important to point out the heter to lie about a certain mesechta is only if one is being asked in order to be tested, but if one is asked a din etc then one has to say the halacha.<ref>Tosfos Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, see Niv Sefasayim pages 51-52. </ref> | # In the permitted instances of [[lying]] this applies for an un-learned person as well.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 69 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita, see Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307. </ref> Based on the above, one who is asked where he is holding in a certain mesechta can say the daf before the one where he is really holding if he does not know that current Gemorah, but does know the previous daf. The reason is since he may be embarrassed if he is asked the Gemorah that he does not know.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 175. </ref> It is important to point out the heter to lie about a certain mesechta is only if one is being asked in order to be tested, but if one is asked a din etc then one has to say the halacha.<ref>Tosfos Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, see Niv Sefasayim pages 51-52. </ref> | ||
# In any situation where it is permitted to lie it is proper to avoid doing so.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker (end), Koneh Emes page 70:3. Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b:page 70b writes that this is hinted to it the roshei teivos of the three above mentioned items. Ushpitza, Mesechtas, and Tashmish (tznius inyunim), in Hebrew spells Emes. </ref> | # In any situation where it is permitted to lie it is proper to avoid doing so.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker (end), Koneh Emes page 70:3. Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b:page 70b writes that this is hinted to it the roshei teivos of the three above mentioned items. Ushpitza, Mesechtas, and Tashmish (tznius inyunim), in Hebrew spells Emes. </ref> | ||
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# One who is shipping fragile objects such as [[matzah]] can write the word "glass" on the box in order that it should be dealt with properly. <ref>Opinions of Harav Elyashiv Shlita, Harav Fisher zt”l and Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 91-92. Mishpatei Hashalom 2: page 41 agrees but says it would be preferable to simply write fragile if that would suffice. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 2:523 how this applies to shipping a sefer Torah. </ref> | # One who is shipping fragile objects such as [[matzah]] can write the word "glass" on the box in order that it should be dealt with properly. <ref>Opinions of Harav Elyashiv Shlita, Harav Fisher zt”l and Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 91-92. Mishpatei Hashalom 2: page 41 agrees but says it would be preferable to simply write fragile if that would suffice. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 2:523 how this applies to shipping a sefer Torah. </ref> | ||
===For peace=== | ===For peace=== | ||
# One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.<ref>Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida 14:13, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, | # One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.<ref>Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida 14:13, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 23-24, Derech Sicha 1:page 307. Some say it is only permitted if one is not hurting the other party by [[lying]] (Rabbeinu Yonah in Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181). Others say it is a mitzvah to lie for peace (Refer to Masechet Yevamos 65b, Ran Masechet Bava Metziah 23b, Niv Sefasayim 2:page 23, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 465-466). Some say [[lying]] for peace is only permitted if one will not make a different person lose out and he does not do it because he loves to lie (Refer to Niv Sefasayim pages 35-36). </ref> A proof to this is the fact that Hashem told Avraham a different story than actually took place between Hashem and Sarah.<ref>Refer to Bereishis 18:13. 21:7, see Bereishis 50:16, Rashi “avicha,” Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 250-251 who explains the last source. </ref> Based on this one is allowed to lie to bring peace between husband and wife. <ref>Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:61.</ref> | ||
# There is a discussion in the seforim if one is allowed to say a real lie for the sake of peace, or only to say something which can be interpreted as the truth as well.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 92-93 who brings the opinions. See Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim page 33. </ref> | # There is a discussion in the seforim if one is allowed to say a real lie for the sake of peace, or only to say something which can be interpreted as the truth as well.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 92-93 who brings the opinions. See Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim page 33. </ref> | ||
# There are poskim that are of the opinion that [[lying]] is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.<ref>Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2, Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, | # There are poskim that are of the opinion that [[lying]] is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.<ref>Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2, Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Lev Chaim 1:5, see Rav Pealim C.M. 3:1. Many seem to question this premise (Refer to Emes Koneh page 76 in depth). </ref> However, the custom is to be lenient.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Emes Koneh pg. 76, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 17-22 in great depth. Refer to Chasam Sofer Lekutim 6:59, Cheshav Ha’efod 1:59. </ref> | ||
# One should not be accustomed to lie for peace.<ref>Yam Shel Shlomo Mesechtas Yevomos 65b, Yad Eliyahu 62, see Niv Sefasayim pages 28-29. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref> | # One should not be accustomed to lie for peace.<ref>Yam Shel Shlomo Mesechtas Yevomos 65b, Yad Eliyahu 62, see Niv Sefasayim pages 28-29. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref> | ||
# One is permitted to say the food is good even if it is not to prevent the host from [[cooking]] a different food if you told the truth about the food.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 104. </ref> | # One is permitted to say the food is good even if it is not to prevent the host from [[cooking]] a different food if you told the truth about the food.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 104. </ref> | ||
