Prohibition to Lie: Difference between revisions

# The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from [[lying]]. <ref> Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Mishnah Berurah O.C. 25:14, Mesilas Yesharim 11. Refer to Rambam Sefer Hamitzvahs Lo Sasei 281 who includes the issur of [[lying]] in the issur of saying Hashem's name in vain regarding bais din. [[Lying]] is disgusted in the eyes of all, and there is nothing more disgusting than [[lying]]. Hashem is truth, and beracha only goes on someone who wants to go in the ways of Hashem. Therefore, the Torah tells us to further ourselves from [[lying]]. Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 558, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24 write that no other aveirah does the Torah use the words "to further" except for [[lying]] therefore one must be careful with this even when it would only appear to be a lie. The issur is not only not to say a lie but to further oneself from a lie (Niv Sefasayim page 10). </ref>

# The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,<ref>Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas [[Shavuos]] 30b. </ref> or if it might cause damage.<ref>Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134. </ref> (According to this [[lying]] is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim<ref>Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth. </ref> hold there is an issur even if the [[lying]] does not fall into the above categories.<ref>Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, [[Chinuch]] {{ibid}}, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch  L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what [[lying]] and truth are. </ref>

# One should teach children that [[lying]] is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125. </ref> One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.<ref>Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos [[Shavuos]] 12:8, Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] {{ibid}}, Orach Mesharim 9:2, [[Chinuch]] Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth. </ref> One who hears his children talking loshon hara, [[lying]] etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.<ref>Mishnah Berurah 443:3.  The Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 252.:12 says to only tell children true stories. </ref> One should try to avoid pretending to eat food in order to make the child eat as well since this will teach the child that not doing the truth is allowed.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10. </ref>

# One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.<ref>Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida {{ibid}}, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, Mishnah Berurah 156:4, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 23-24, Derech Sicha 1:page 307. Some say it is only permitted if one is not hurting the other party by [[lying]] (Rabbeinu Yonah in Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181). Others say it is a mitzvah to lie for peace (Refer to Mesechtas Yevamos {{ibid}}, Ran Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Niv Sefasayim 2:page 23, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 465-466). Some say [[lying]] for peace is only permitted if one will not make a different person lose out and he does not do it because he loves to lie (Refer to Niv Sefasayim pages 35-36). </ref> A proof to this is the fact that Hashem told Avraham a different story than actually took place between Hashem and Sarah.<ref>Refer to Bereishis 18:13. 21:7, see Bereishis 50:16, Rashi “avicha,” Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 250-251 who explains the last source. </ref> Based on this one is allowed to lie to bring peace between husband and wife. <ref>Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:61.</ref>

# There are poskim that are of the opinion that [[lying]] is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.<ref>Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2,  Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, Mishnah Berurah 156:4, Lev Chaim 1:5, see Rav Pealim C.M. 3:1. Many seem to question this premise (Refer to Emes Koneh page 76 in depth). </ref> However, the custom is to be lenient.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Emes Koneh {{ibid}}, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 17-22 in great depth. Refer to Chasam Sofer Lekutim 6:59, Cheshav Ha’efod 1:59. </ref>

# One is permitted to lie in order for one's friend to avoid being embarrassed.<ref>Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Lev Chaim 1:5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 97-99. Refer to Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2.  Refer to Mesechtas Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy,” Mesechtas Eruvin 53b, Sanhedrin 11a,  Menochos 67b, Rashi Mesechtas Avodah Zarah 58a “dumi,” Tosfas {{ibid}} “ikloah,”  Da’as Torah 156. </ref>

# It is a very common occurrence for a collector to knock on the door and wish to speak with the ba'al habayis to receive money. Many times the parent will tell the child tell the person I am not home. Is this permitted according to the halacha? (against [[lying]])? The poskim say that telling the person the ba'al habayis is not home is permitted because of shalom. It is not the business of the collector to know what is going on in the house. If he tells him he does not want to see him now it will make the collector angry, therefore [[lying]] is permitted.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 107. Others argue with this (opinion of Harav Wonser Shlita {{ibid}}:page 108). </ref> In any case one should not tell a child to say one is not home because it is not good [[chinuch]].<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108. </ref>

# One who is asked is it true that you have a lot of money? can say no, if he is concerned of ayin hara and does not want other people to become jealous.<ref>Mishpitei Hashalom 2: pg. 55, Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 111. Refer to {{ibid}} where he brings proof to this. </ref>

# There is a dispute if one is supposed to say to the chosson the kallah looks nice even if she does not.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a, Semak 227, Rabbeinu Yona Sharei [[Teshuva]] 3:181, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 175-176 who explains the dispute see {{ibid}} :page 100-101. Also see Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 4-9 in great depth, and Torah She’bal Pe 21:pages 92-94. Refer to Ben Yehoyada in Mesechtas Kesubos 16:page 67 and Yismach Lev 1:page 170. </ref> L'maseh, one is permitted to say a kallah looks beautiful even if she does not.  The reason is in order that her chosson should love her.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. See Tosfas “kallah,” Rashba, Shita Mekubetzes, Shulchan Aruch E.H. 65:1, Chasam Sofer Mesechtas Kesubos {{ibid}}.</ref> Some say this is based on the heter to lie because of peace.<ref>Ritvah Mesechtas Kesubos {{ibid}}. Refer to Maharsha Mesechtas Kesubos 16b “ketzad.” </ref> Others say because even if one says she is beautiful when she is not it can be going on her actions.<ref>Bais Shbmuel E.H. 65:2, Prisha 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 65:1. See Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2. </ref> The same is true for one whose child is not pretty; he may say he is beautiful.<ref>Emes Koneh page 37:footnote 5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 224 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>

One may tell a person the object he bought is nice (if he was asked) even if it is not nice.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. </ref> The reason is because one is supposed to be well liked among the world.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos {{ibid}}, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:9:12:2, Be’er Mayim Chaim 34. Refer to Shita Mekubetzes Mesechtas Kesubos {{ibid}}. </ref>

# A common occurrence is for a person to dress up as a poor person in order to collect more money, is this permitted or is considered as if he is not coming off as being truthful? The Mishnah in Mesechtas Peah<ref>8:9. </ref> says if one is not missing a limb or blind etc. and he makes himself as such he will not leave this world without becoming the thing which he imitated. The opinion of the Maharsha<ref>Mesechtas Peah {{ibid}}. </ref> is that this is talking about a person who is poor and he needs money so he does certain actions to make others have mercy on him.  Others seem to say that this is referring to someone who does not need money and he makes believe that he does.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Kesubos 68a, Rambam Hilchos Matnas Aniyim 10:19, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 255:2, Mieri Mesechtas Kesubos {{ibid}}.</ref>

# Some say if a person is poor than doing the above is permitted,<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 162. </ref> while other do not agree with this premise.<ref>Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov {{ibid}}. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 4:216. </ref>

# The opinion of Harav Elchonon Wasserman zt"l was that one should not be called "Rav" unless he is a Rav of a Shul, posek, or a Rosh Yeshiva.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 34:64, Niv Sefasayim pages 117-118 in depth. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 198. </ref> However, today, the custom is to be lenient with this.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov {{ibid}} and Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 45. Refer to Zecher Yehusef O.C. 70:page 184. </ref> Accordingly, even one who did not get semicha may be called Rav or Rabbi.