Perfecting one's Middot: Difference between revisions
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==Examples of Middot== | ==Examples of Middot== | ||
# A person shouldn't laugh excessively [in empty matters], nor be sad; rather, one should be happy all one's days, with a good expression on one's face. <ref> | # A person shouldn't laugh excessively [in empty matters], nor be sad; rather, one should be happy all one's days, with a good expression on one's face. <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:2 </ref>. | ||
# Jealousy, Desire, and Pursuit of Honor remove a person from the world <ref> Pirkei Avot 4:28 </ref>. Nonetheless, one shouldn't separate from them excessively, saying "I won't eat meat, drink wine, marry a wife, live in a nice house, or wear nice clothing; instead, I will wear a sack [of [[mourning]]]". This is also an evil path, and one is forbidden to walk on it. One is called a sinner if one does; even a Nazir is called a sinner for refraining from wine. The Torah has already forbidden enough, that we should add on more prohibitions. One shouldn't add on fasts unnecessarily. <ref> | # Jealousy, Desire, and Pursuit of Honor remove a person from the world <ref> Pirkei Avot 4:28 </ref>. Nonetheless, one shouldn't separate from them excessively, saying "I won't eat meat, drink wine, marry a wife, live in a nice house, or wear nice clothing; instead, I will wear a sack [of [[mourning]]]". This is also an evil path, and one is forbidden to walk on it. One is called a sinner if one does; even a Nazir is called a sinner for refraining from wine. The Torah has already forbidden enough, that we should add on more prohibitions. One shouldn't add on fasts unnecessarily. <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:6. However, a Rebbe said at a Sichas Mussar: modern society often confuses what actually is a necessity, and what actually is a luxury </ref>. | ||
# One should be content with one's lot <ref> | # One should be content with one's lot <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:6 </ref>. | ||
# One should be as bold as a lion, light as an eagle, as fast as a deer and as strong as a lion, to do the will of your Father in heaven <ref> Pirkei Avos 5:23 </ref>. Thus, one shouldn't be embarrassed from people who scoff at him in his Divine Service. Nevertheless, one shouldn't likewise respond brazenly to them, so that one doesn't acquire the character trait of brazenness / עזות פנים <ref> | # One should be as bold as a lion, light as an eagle, as fast as a deer and as strong as a lion, to do the will of your Father in heaven <ref> Pirkei Avos 5:23 </ref>. Thus, one shouldn't be embarrassed from people who scoff at him in his Divine Service. Nevertheless, one shouldn't likewise respond brazenly to them, so that one doesn't acquire the character trait of brazenness / עזות פנים <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:8 </ref>. | ||
# Argument is very bad <ref> </ref>. One shouldn't cause argument, even for a Mitzvah matter <ref> | # Argument is very bad <ref> </ref>. One shouldn't cause argument, even for a Mitzvah matter <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:9 </ref>. | ||
==Ways to Perfect Character Traits== | ==Ways to Perfect Character Traits== | ||
How should one accustom onesself to humility? One should always speak gently, and have a bent comportment with a head looking down, with one's heart above. One should always view a person as more important than oneself. <ref> | How should one accustom onesself to humility? One should always speak gently, and have a bent comportment with a head looking down, with one's heart above. One should always view a person as more important than oneself. <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:3. For example: | ||
# If the other person is a greater Torah scholar, one must honor him. | # If the other person is a greater Torah scholar, one must honor him. | ||
# If the other person is wealthy, one must honor him. </ref>. | # If the other person is wealthy, one must honor him. </ref>. | ||
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# If the other person is smaller than oneself in wisdom or wealth, one should view him as more righteous, because if he sins, he is considered Shogeig or forced, and if you sin, it is considered Intentional / Meizid. <ref> Ibid </ref> | # If the other person is smaller than oneself in wisdom or wealth, one should view him as more righteous, because if he sins, he is considered Shogeig or forced, and if you sin, it is considered Intentional / Meizid. <ref> Ibid </ref> | ||
Man's nature is to be drawn in deeds after his neighbors, friends, and people of his locale. Therefore, a person should endeavor to attach himself to Tzaddikkim and Talmidei Chachamim, so that he can learn from their ways. <ref> | Man's nature is to be drawn in deeds after his neighbors, friends, and people of his locale. Therefore, a person should endeavor to attach himself to Tzaddikkim and Talmidei Chachamim, so that he can learn from their ways. <ref> Kitzur S"A 29:10. A Rebbe, when asked what the best way to acquire character traits is, responded that it is to find people that have those character traits already, and to imitate them </ref>. One should distance himself from the wicked, so that he doesn't learn from their deeds. <ref> {{ibid}} </ref>. | ||
How can one avoid [[Lashon Hara]]? | How can one avoid [[Lashon Hara]]? | ||
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==Consequences of Bad Middot== | ==Consequences of Bad Middot== | ||
# Four groups of people don't receive the Divine Presence: -Scoffers -Flatterers -Liars -Speakers of [[Lashon Hara]] <ref> | # Four groups of people don't receive the Divine Presence: -Scoffers -Flatterers -Liars -Speakers of [[Lashon Hara]] <ref> Kitzur S"A 30:6 </ref>. | ||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
