16,374
edits
Perfecting one's Middot: Difference between revisions
From Halachipedia
→Humility
| (5 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) | |||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
==The proper balance of Middot== | ==The proper balance of Middot== | ||
# Not only does one have to do [[Teshuvah]] for sins that require an action, like theft but one also needs to avoid bad [[middot]] <ref> Rambam Hilchot | # Not only does one have to do [[Teshuvah]] for sins that require an action, like theft but one also needs to avoid bad [[middot]] <ref> Rambam Hilchot Teshuva 7:3, Shulchan Aruch Hamiddot 1: page 177. see there for a discussion of the torah source for this obligation </ref> | ||
# The good and straight path, is to accustom oneself to follow the middle path when it comes to character traits. For example, a person shouldn't be too stingy or too generous in giving away of his money, rather one should give according to one's ability. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:2, Shulchan Aruch Hamiddot volume 1: page 7</ref> | # The good and straight path, is to accustom oneself to follow the middle path when it comes to character traits. For example, a person shouldn't be too stingy or too generous in giving away of his money, rather one should give according to one's ability. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:2, Shulchan Aruch Hamiddot volume 1: page 7</ref> | ||
# Similarly, a person shouldn't desire physical items other than what a person needs to live. Nor should a person work too much in his business rather one should work to have enough funds for his worldly needs. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:2</ref> | # Similarly, a person shouldn't desire physical items other than what a person needs to live. Nor should a person work too much in his business rather one should work to have enough funds for his worldly needs. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:2</ref> | ||
# However, arrogance is a very bad character trait and should be avoided altogether. One should accustom oneself to have a humble spirit. Additionally, [[anger]] is a | # However, arrogance is a very bad character trait and should be avoided altogether. One should accustom oneself to have a humble spirit. Additionally, [[anger]] is a very bad character trait and one should stay far away from it. Thus, one should accustom oneself to refrain from [[anger]] even over something which is deserving of getting angry. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3</ref> | ||
# A person should attempt to engage in being quiet except for speaking words of divrei torah or something that's necessary for his worldly needs. Even for one's worldly needs one shouldn't speak excessively. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:5</ref> | # A person should attempt to engage in being quiet except for speaking words of divrei torah or something that's necessary for his worldly needs. Even for one's worldly needs one shouldn't speak excessively. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:5</ref> | ||
| Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
# However, sometimes jealousy can be used for a positive goal such as for spiritual growth. <ref> Gemara says in Bava Batra 22a "kinat sofrim tarbeh chachma" - the envy of Torah scholars increases wisdom.<br /> | # However, sometimes jealousy can be used for a positive goal such as for spiritual growth. <ref> Gemara says in Bava Batra 22a "kinat sofrim tarbeh chachma" - the envy of Torah scholars increases wisdom.<br /> | ||
Sefer LiRayacha Kamocha pg. 159 points out that if one has spiritual envy of another because he is trying to outshine that person or in order to denigrate another, that would be in violation of the same jealousy as material jealousy. </ref> | Sefer LiRayacha Kamocha pg. 159 points out that if one has spiritual envy of another because he is trying to outshine that person or in order to denigrate another, that would be in violation of the same jealousy as material jealousy. </ref> | ||
# see further [[Lo Tachmod]] | |||
===Humility=== | ===Humility=== | ||
# | # Humility is the finest of all of the good character traits.<Ref>Ramban in Iggeret HaRamban</ref> Therefore, one should be exceedingly humble. <ref> Mishna in Pirkei Avot 4:4, Rambam (Deot 2:3) </ref> How should one accustom oneself to humility? One should always speak gently, and have a bent comportment with a head looking down, with one's heart above. One should always view a person as more important than oneself. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3. For example: | ||
# If the other person is a greater Torah scholar, one must honor him. | # If the other person is a greater Torah scholar, one must honor him. | ||
# If the other person is wealthy, one must honor him. </ref>. | # If the other person is wealthy, one must honor him. </ref>. | ||
# For example, if one sees a rich person, when one sees his wealth, one must think that Hashem gave him wealth because he is fit for it [and able to dispense it well to [[charity]]]. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3</ref>. | # For example, if one sees a rich person, when one sees his wealth, one must think that Hashem gave him wealth because he is fit for it [and able to dispense it well to [[charity]]]. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3</ref>. | ||
# If the other person is smaller than oneself in wisdom or wealth, one should view him as more righteous, because if he sins, he is considered Shogeig or forced, and if you sin, it is considered Intentional / Meizid. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3</ref> | # If the other person is smaller than oneself in wisdom or wealth, one should view him as more righteous, because if he sins, he is considered Shogeig or forced, and if you sin, it is considered Intentional / Meizid. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29:3</ref> | ||
===Arrogance=== | |||
# It is forbidden to have any arrogance.<ref>Smag Lavin 64 based on Devarim 8:11 counts having arrogance as one of the 613 mitzvot.</ref> | |||
# Even though it is forbidden to advertise or flaunt that one did a certain mitzvah,<ref>Panim Yafot Beresheet 42:18 based on Mishlei 6:8</ref> it is permitted to flaunt or speak about one's [[Yirat Hashem]] or [[Emunah]].<ref>Panim Yafot Beresheet 42:18 citing Chazal. His proofs are Beresheet 42:18, Targum Unkeles Bersheet 50:19, Avot 1:3, Sotah 5a, and Shemot 14:31. In his introduction to Hamikneh n. 18 he proves it from Yirmiyahu 9:23.</reF> | |||
# One shouldn't flaunt one's good qualities even to advertise.<ref>Mishlei 27:2, Orchot Tzadim Gavah s.v. Gaut Chachma</ref> See [[Halachos of Interviews]]. | |||
==Ways to Perfect Character Traits== | ==Ways to Perfect Character Traits== | ||
| Line 53: | Line 59: | ||
==Consequences of Bad Middot== | ==Consequences of Bad Middot== | ||
See [[Perfecting one's Middot]] | |||
# Four groups of people don't receive the Divine Presence: -Scoffers -Flatterers -Liars -Speakers of [[Lashon Hara]] <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 30:6 </ref>. | # Four groups of people don't receive the Divine Presence: -Scoffers -Flatterers -Liars -Speakers of [[Lashon Hara]] <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 30:6 </ref>. | ||
