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Onen: Difference between revisions
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# Nowadays most communities have specific people who deal with the meis and the burial, such as a "Chevra Kadisha," and so the immediate relatives of the deceased do not take care of the burial directly.<ref>This is the generally understood meaning of 'כתפים' in Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1, cf. Moed Katan 22a</ref> Although some have stated that this custom frees the relatives from their status as onenim,<ref>Shulchan Aruch 341:3 based on Tosfos Brachos 18b, Tur Y.D. 375 quoting Behag, Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) p. 70, Chochmas Adam Klal 153:3</ref> others believe that a relative is only free from being an onen if he does not accompany the meis to the burial.<ref>Noda Biyhudah Tinyana Y.D 211 cited in Pischei Teshuvah 341:1, cf. Hagahos Maimoni Hil. Eivel 3:6.</ref> While some communities follow the first view, most believe that a person is still an onen nowadays when a Chevra Kadisha takes care of the meis.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 341:20-23 writes that this must be the case, considering that the Shulchan Aruch paskens (341:1) that even a relative who is in a faraway city and will not be involved in the burial is still an onen. Rather, the Gemara is referring to those who have followed the meis until a certain point, and then return home while the meis is sent to be buried.</ref> | # Nowadays most communities have specific people who deal with the meis and the burial, such as a "Chevra Kadisha," and so the immediate relatives of the deceased do not take care of the burial directly.<ref>This is the generally understood meaning of 'כתפים' in Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1, cf. Moed Katan 22a</ref> Although some have stated that this custom frees the relatives from their status as onenim,<ref>Shulchan Aruch 341:3 based on Tosfos Brachos 18b, Tur Y.D. 375 quoting Behag, Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) p. 70, Chochmas Adam Klal 153:3</ref> others believe that a relative is only free from being an onen if he does not accompany the meis to the burial.<ref>Noda Biyhudah Tinyana Y.D 211 cited in Pischei Teshuvah 341:1, cf. Hagahos Maimoni Hil. Eivel 3:6.</ref> While some communities follow the first view, most believe that a person is still an onen nowadays when a Chevra Kadisha takes care of the meis.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 341:20-23 writes that this must be the case, considering that the Shulchan Aruch paskens (341:1) that even a relative who is in a faraway city and will not be involved in the burial is still an onen. Rather, the Gemara is referring to those who have followed the meis until a certain point, and then return home while the meis is sent to be buried.</ref> | ||
# One who only accompanies the meis only until a certain point, but not all the way to the burial, is no longer an onen once they leave the meis.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2, Hashulchan Y.D. 341:21-22. Although the Aruch Hashulchan in 324:23 indicates that this is only true if the meis will be traveling for at least a two-day's journey, see Minchas Shelomo 91:25. See there also regarding a relative who will not be with the meis at all the entire time</ref> | # One who only accompanies the meis only until a certain point, but not all the way to the burial, is no longer an onen once they leave the meis.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2, Hashulchan Y.D. 341:21-22. Although the Aruch Hashulchan in 324:23 indicates that this is only true if the meis will be traveling for at least a two-day's journey, see Minchas Shelomo 91:25. See there also regarding a relative who will not be with the meis at all the entire time</ref> | ||
# The relatives of someone who died in captivity do not practice aninus at all, and not aveilus until the burial.<ref>Tosfos Brachos 18a, Rambam Hilchos Avel 1:3, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:4, Shach 341:15</ref> However, many believe that this was only the case if the captors wouldn't release the body until ransom negotiations were made, but today, if the meis is being held for medical or legal reasons, aninus does apply right away, because one can be sure that the meis will be returned to the family eventually.<ref>Noda BiYhudah Tinyanana Y.D. 211, Aruch Hashulchan 341:18</ref> | # The relatives of someone who died in captivity do not practice aninus at all, and not aveilus until the burial (or until the relatives give up hope of having a burial).<ref>Tosfos Brachos 18a, Rambam Hilchos Avel 1:3, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:4, Shach 341:15</ref> However, many believe that this was only the case if the captors wouldn't release the body until ransom negotiations were made, but today, if the meis is being held for medical or legal reasons, aninus does apply right away, because one can be sure that the meis will be returned to the family eventually.<ref>Noda BiYhudah Tinyanana Y.D. 211, Aruch Hashulchan 341:18</ref> | ||
==Practices of the Onen== | ==Practices of the Onen== | ||
# There is a dispute regarding whether or not the onen also has the restrictions of an [[Avel]], namely, if the onen may sit on a chair, wash, greet people, etc.<ref>cf. Tur who quotes this dispute between Rambam, Ritz Gayes, and Baalei HaTosafos against the Ramban and Rabbeinu Peretz, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:5, Aruch Hashulchan Y.D. 341:23-28 insists that the opinion of the Rama is actually to permit these behaviors, cf. Sh"T Chasam Sofer II Y.D. 324</ref> | # There is a dispute regarding whether or not the onen also has the restrictions of an [[Avel]], namely, if the onen may sit on a chair, wash, greet people, etc.<ref>cf. Tur who quotes this dispute between Rambam, Ritz Gayes, and Baalei HaTosafos against the Ramban and Rabbeinu Peretz, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:5, Aruch Hashulchan Y.D. 341:23-28 insists that the opinion of the Rama is actually to permit these behaviors, cf. Sh"T Chasam Sofer II Y.D. 324</ref> | ||
