Marrying More than One Wife: Difference between revisions

The Cherem D’Rabbeinu Gershom (excommunicable decrees of Rabbi Gershom) is a series of Rabbinic decrees enacted by Rabbeinu Gershom Me'or HaGolah ("Our teacher, Rabbi Gershom, light of the Diaspora", c.1000-1100 CE) for Ashkenazic communities. Its various components are aimed at maintaining civility between a husband and wife, and between a person and his or her fellow. While the original decrees were designed to be in effect for a limited amount of time and only in the Jewish communities of Europe, there has been much discussion throughout the centuries as to how long it should be in effect, where it should be in effect, and under what circumstances should it be enforced. All of these parameters will be discussed below.   

#Prior to the enactment of the Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom, one was permitted to marry multiple wives, provided he was able to provide financially and emotionally for each of them.<ref>Rambam Hilchos Ishus 14:3, Tur Even HaEzer 1:9 ruling like Rava on the Machlokes found on Yevamos 65a. Nonetheless, at the end of the Siman, the Tur forbids anyone from marrying more than one woman in places where the Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom was put into effect.</ref> A number of reasons have been provided for its enactment including preventing abusive and womanizing husbands from mistreating their wives<ref>Shu"t MaHarik, Shoresh 101, quoting the Teshuvos HaRashba</ref>, preventing marital fights<ref>Darkei Moshe, Even HaEzer Siman 1:11, Mordechai on Kesuvos, Siman 291</ref> and preventing men from marrying wives that they would not be able to support<ref>Shu"t Mishkenos Yaakov, Even HaEzer Siman 1, Shu"t Maharam Padova Siman 14</ref>. Others include an additional reason of preventing a possible scenario where the son and daughter of one man (from two separate women) want to marry each other, a union prohibited according to Halacha<ref>Yevamos 37b</ref>.

#It is prohibited for a man to marry a second woman, even in a situation where the first wife consents to the second marriage <ref>Darkei Moshe,  Even HaEzer, Siman 1, Os Ches </ref>

#There is a debate as to whether or not a woman would also be Halachically culpable if she marries a man with another wife<ref>Haghos Sma"k Siman 186 is of the opinion that even the woman would be culpable this situation (See Encyclopedia Talmudit, Vol. 17, entry on Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom, footnote 30). The Be'air Heitev (Even HaEzer, Siman 1, Seif Katan 20) and Rav Yitzchak Elchanan Spektor (Shu"t Ein Yitzchak Even HaEzer Siman 3:9) both held that the woman would not be culpable as the Cherem only makes the man culpable in its original enactment. </ref>. Even those who would not hold the woman culpable in such an instance still maintain that it would be extremely ill advised to enter such a marriage . As such, any efforts, by a Beis Din or otherwise, to deter such behavior should be encouraged<ref>Shu"t Shoel U'Maishiv, Vol. 1:114</ref>.

#Prior to the enactment of the Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom, a woman could be divorced regardless of whether or not she consented <ref>Yevamos 112b, Rambam Hilchos Geirushin 1:2, Tur Even HaEzer 119:6</ref> and whether or not her husband could pay for her Ketubah/financial needs after the divorce<ref>Though she would have the right to sue her ex-husband in Beis Din afterwards for the money owed to her. Rama, Even HaEzer 119:6 </ref>. After the Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom was put into place it, became prohibited for a man to divorce his wife without her knowledge, even if he could pay the amount of her Ketubah<ref>Rama, Even HaEzer 119:6, citing the Teshuvos HaRosh.</ref>.

#Reasons for the Cherem included to prevent abusive and womanizing husbands from abusing their wives and divorcing them for frivolous reasons<ref>Shu"t MaHarik ibid.</ref> and to equate a woman's power in terms of a divorce to that of a man so women can not be degraded by forced divorces<ref>Shu"t HaRosh Klal 42:1</ref>. Others are of the opinion that the Cherem is a bona fide siyag (protective fence) to the Torah- one should not forcibly divorce his wife, even if by strict halacha he would be justified to do so (eirvas davar), lest someone seek to forcibly divorce his wife for a reason that is not valid<ref>Shu"t Ein Yitzchak, Even HaEzer 4:20. The Chasam Sofer (Shu"t Chasam Sofer E"H 1:3) also believes this segment of the Cherem D'Rabbeinu Gershom is a siyag for the reason that is brought by Shu"t Maharik- to prevent spousal abuse and divorce for frivolous reasons</ref>.  Finally, some point out that these two segments of the Cherem (not marrying more than one wife and not forcibly divorcing a woman) had to be established together, lest a husband threaten to marry another woman, a deed that would cause his wife to become an Agunah<ref>Shu"t Shoel U'Maishiv, 1st Edition, 1:178</ref>.