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Kibud Av V'Em: Difference between revisions
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#Although one should not generally take care of his own need such as shopping before praying in the morning, one is permitted to go out and buy groceries for his parents even before prayers. <ref>Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 108 </ref> | #Although one should not generally take care of his own need such as shopping before praying in the morning, one is permitted to go out and buy groceries for his parents even before prayers. <ref>Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 108 </ref> | ||
#If one's parents tell them to violate a Biblical or even a rabbinic prohibition, one shouldn't listen.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:11</ref> | #If one's parents tell them to violate a Biblical or even a rabbinic prohibition, one shouldn't listen.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:11</ref> | ||
#If one's parents objects to one doing a specific chumra, technically one doesn't have to listen to one's parents since that isn't included in Kibbud Av Vem.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kibbud Av Vem p. 423). He cites the Agudat Ezov YD 16 who writes about a case where a parent asks a child not to keep [[yashan]] because he is afraid that doing so will cause him to be unhealthy and malnourished. He writes that it isn't necessary to listen since it doesn't directly affect the parents. Nonetheless, it is proper to be strict regarding Kibbud Av Vem and listen to them. He also cites the Meishivat Nefesh 16 who writes that if the father is commanding him because he wants him not to be strict then one doesn't have to listen. But if he has another reason such as he is pained by the fact that the child is in pain then he has to listen. Lastly, he cites Beer Moshe 1:61:2 that if the chumra has a basis in gemara then he doesn't have to listen to his parents, but it doesn't then he must listen to them. </ref> However, if it causes them pain then it isn't advised to disobey their wishes and doing so is spiritually worse than keeping that pious practice.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kibbud Av Vem p. 423), Teshuvot Vehanhagot 1:526. As a precedent the Teshuvot Vehanhagot records that the Arizal's practice was to go to mikveh each day but when his mother asked him not to go in the winter for his health he listened.</ref> | #If one's parents objects to one doing a specific chumra, technically one doesn't have to listen to one's parents since that isn't included in Kibbud Av Vem.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kibbud Av Vem p. 423). He cites the Agudat Ezov YD 16 who writes about a case where a parent asks a child not to keep [[yashan]] because he is afraid that doing so will cause him to be unhealthy and malnourished. He writes that it isn't necessary to listen since it doesn't directly affect the parents. Nonetheless, it is proper to be strict regarding Kibbud Av Vem and listen to them. He also cites the Meishivat Nefesh 16 who writes that if the father is commanding him because he wants him not to be strict then one doesn't have to listen. But if he has another reason such as he is pained by the fact that the child is in pain then he has to listen. Lastly, he cites Beer Moshe 1:61:2 that if the chumra has a basis in gemara then he doesn't have to listen to his parents, but it doesn't then he must listen to them. </ref> However, if it causes them pain then it isn't advised to disobey their wishes and doing so is spiritually worse than keeping that pious practice.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Kibbud Av Vem p. 423), Teshuvot Vehanhagot 1:526. As a precedent the Teshuvot Vehanhagot records that the Arizal's practice was to go to mikveh each day but when his mother asked him not to go in the winter for his health he listened. Another precedent of this can be seen in the Sefer Chasidim 340 who writes that a person shouldn't fast a non-obligatory fast if it causes pain to one's parents. This is cited by the Ben Ish Chai Shoftim 25 and Yalkut Yosef Kibud Av Vem p. 425.</ref> | ||
===Standing for One's Parents=== | ===Standing for One's Parents=== | ||
