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Kibud Av V'Em: Difference between revisions
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→Having Awe for One's Parents (Moreh Av V'Em)
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#Some are of the opinion that due to the obligation of Moreh Av Va'Em, one must listen to the directive of one's parents, even if it does not directly benefit the parent.<ref>Sefer HaMakneh, Kiddushin 31b s.v. "Tanu Rabanan Eizehu". An exception to this position is if doing so causes a substantial loss for the child. These losses can be financial or in others matters that would cause much disruption in the child's life (e.g. changing minhagim (Rav Elyashiv)) | #Some are of the opinion that due to the obligation of Moreh Av Va'Em, one must listen to the directive of one's parents, even if it does not directly benefit the parent.<ref>Sefer HaMakneh, Kiddushin 31b s.v. "Tanu Rabanan Eizehu". An exception to this position is if doing so causes a substantial loss for the child. These losses can be financial or in others matters that would cause much disruption in the child's life (e.g. changing minhagim (Rav Elyashiv)) | ||
This is in contrast to the Rabman, Rashba and Ritva (Yevamot 6a), which state that the mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'Em is servicing the parents. This definition does not include obeying one's parents when the directive does not directly benefit them. The Vilna Gaon (Biur HaGra on Yoreh Deah 240:36) asserts that this is the position of the Mechaber and the Rama in Shulchan Aruch. This is also the common practice as well. </ref> The exception to this position is the directive of a parent for a child to not to marry his desired spouse, which a child is permitted to disregard. <ref>The Rama (ibid) codifies this as the halacha, quoting Shu"t Maharik (Siman 167). | This is in contrast to the Rabman, Rashba and Ritva (Yevamot 6a), which state that the mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'Em is servicing the parents. This definition does not include obeying one's parents when the directive does not directly benefit them. The Vilna Gaon (Biur HaGra on Yoreh Deah 240:36) asserts that this is the position of the Mechaber and the Rama in Shulchan Aruch. This is also the common practice as well. </ref> The exception to this position is the directive of a parent for a child to not to marry his desired spouse, which a child is permitted to disregard. <ref>The Rama (ibid) codifies this as the halacha, quoting Shu"t Maharik (Siman 167). According to the position of the Ramban, Rashba and Ritva, where a child must obey a parent's directive only if it directly benefits the parents, a son choosing who to marry does not directly benefit the parents. Therefore, it would be permitted for a child to disregard such a directive. According to the position of the Sefer HaMakneh, where a child must obey a directive even if it does not directly benefit his parents, it would still be permitted to disregard this specific directive as obeying one's parents would cause a child to refrain from marrying and having a children, something from which he is halachikally obligated to do. Even though it is permissible to not obey parents' wishes for who their children marry, naturally, the parents should not be expected to support the child and his spouse afterwards. </ref> | ||
According to the position of the Ramban, Rashba and Ritva, where a child must obey a parent's directive only if it directly benefits the parents, a son choosing who to marry does not directly benefit the parents. Therefore, it would be permitted for a child to disregard such a directive. | |||
According to the position of the Sefer HaMakneh, where a child must obey a directive even if it does not directly benefit his parents, it would still be permitted to disregard this specific directive as obeying one's parents would cause a child to refrain from marrying and having a children, something he is halachikally obligated to do. | |||
Even though it is permissible to not obey parents' wishes for who their children marry, naturally, the parents should not be expected to support the child and his spouse afterwards. </ref> | |||
==Injuring One's Parents== | ==Injuring One's Parents== | ||
