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Kibud Av V'Em: Difference between revisions
From Halachipedia
→Having Awe for One's Parents (Moreh Av Va'Em)
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#Though one must show respect to his in-laws as much as possible such as standing up, one does not need to respect his in-laws in the same way that he must his own parents.<ref>Yechave Daat 6:51 </ref> | #Though one must show respect to his in-laws as much as possible such as standing up, one does not need to respect his in-laws in the same way that he must his own parents.<ref>Yechave Daat 6:51 </ref> | ||
==Having Awe for One's Parents (Moreh Av | ==Having Awe for One's Parents (Moreh Av V'Em)== | ||
#One shouldn't stand in the place where one's father usually stands to daven or sit in the place he usually sits at home.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:2</ref> | #One shouldn't stand in the place where one's father usually stands to daven or sit in the place he usually sits at home.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:2</ref> | ||
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This is in contrast to the Rabman, Rashba and Ritva (Yevamot 6a), which state that the mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'Em is servicing the parents. This definition does not include obeying one's parents when the directive does not directly benefit them. The Vilna Gaon (Biur HaGra on Yoreh Deah 240:36) asserts that this is the position of the Mechaber and the Rama in Shulchan Aruch. This is also the common practice as well. </ref> The exception to this position is the directive of a parent for a child to not to marry his desired spouse, which a child is permitted to disregard. <ref>The Rama (ibid) codifies this as the halacha, quoting Shu"t Maharik (Siman 167). | This is in contrast to the Rabman, Rashba and Ritva (Yevamot 6a), which state that the mitzvah of Kibud Av Va'Em is servicing the parents. This definition does not include obeying one's parents when the directive does not directly benefit them. The Vilna Gaon (Biur HaGra on Yoreh Deah 240:36) asserts that this is the position of the Mechaber and the Rama in Shulchan Aruch. This is also the common practice as well. </ref> The exception to this position is the directive of a parent for a child to not to marry his desired spouse, which a child is permitted to disregard. <ref>The Rama (ibid) codifies this as the halacha, quoting Shu"t Maharik (Siman 167). | ||
According to the position of the Ramban, Rashba and Ritva, where a child must obey a parent's directive only if it directly benefits the parents, a son choosing who to marry does not directly benefit the parents. Therefore, it would be permitted for a child to disregard such a directive. | According to the position of the Ramban, Rashba and Ritva, where a child must obey a parent's directive only if it directly benefits the parents, a son choosing who to marry does not directly benefit the parents. Therefore, it would be permitted for a child to disregard such a directive. | ||
According to the position of the Sefer HaMakneh, where a child must obey a directive even if it does not directly benefit his parents, it would still be permitted to disregard this specific directive as obeying one's parents would cause a child to refrain from marrying and having a children, something he is halachikally obligated to do. | According to the position of the Sefer HaMakneh, where a child must obey a directive even if it does not directly benefit his parents, it would still be permitted to disregard this specific directive as obeying one's parents would cause a child to refrain from marrying and having a children, something he is halachikally obligated to do. | ||
Nonetheless, if a child should marry his spouse against his parents' wishes, there is no halachic expectation for the parents to support the couple going forward. </ref> | Nonetheless, if a child should marry his spouse against his parents' wishes, there is no halachic expectation for the parents to support the couple going forward. </ref> | ||
