Kibud Av V'Em: Difference between revisions

# There is no [[Birchot HaMitzvah|bracha]] for the mitzvah of Kibud Av V'Em. Some explain that the reason is because the actions done by a Jew to fulfill the mitzvah are the same ones a non-Jew would do to honor his parents as a moral obligation. Since the primary difference between a Jew and non-Jew who take such actions is the intent, for such an action one may not say "Asher Kideshanu" - we were commanded in this specific action. <ref>Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:4, Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 75</ref>

# In principle, the mitzvah of honoring and having awe applies equally to one's father as it does to one's mother.<ref> Yalkut Yosef Hilchot Kibbud Va'em Pg. 66 </ref>  However, if one's parents are married, honoring one's father takes precedence since one's mother also has to honor one's father.<ref>Gemara [[Kiddushin]] 31a, Tur 240, Shulchan Aruch YD 240:14, Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:7</ref>

# In principle, a man and woman are equally obligated in honoring or being in awe of one's parents. If a woman is married, however, she is exempt from honoring her parents. Yet, if her husband isn't meticulous, she is obligated to honor her parents as much as possible. <ref>[[Kiddushin]] 30b, Shulchan Aruch YD 240:16, Shach YD 240:19, Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:38</ref>

# The mitzvah of kibbud av va'em is fundamentally a mitzvah bein adam lachavero. Therefore, even one who repents on Yom Kippur and confesses this sin before Hashem, must ask them for forgiveness. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 100 </ref>

==Honoring Grandparents==

# There's a mitzvah to honor one's grandchildren, but to a lesser extent than the mitzvah to honor one's parents. <ref>Rama (responsa 118) and Rama YD 240:24.</ref> Others, however, hold that there's no special mitzvah for grandparents more than the general mitzvah to respect elders.<ref>Maharik 30. See, however, Biur Hagra who draws a compromise that there's no mitzvah to honor maternal grandparents.</ref>

==Honoring One's Step-Parents==

# One is obligated to honor one's father's wife (step-mother) as long as one's father is alive. It is proper to honor her even after one's father's death. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:20</ref>

==Injuring One's Parents==

# One shouldn't let blood or perform an amputation for one's parent unless there is no other doctor available and one's parent is in pain in which case it is permitted to do whatever one's parent gives him permission to do.<ref>Sanhedrin 85b, Shulchan Aruch and Rama YD 241:3 </ref> Similarly, if he's the best doctor available and one's parent wants him, then he may perform on his parent according to whatever one's parent gives him permission.<ref>Aruch HaShulchan 241:6</ref>

==If One's Parents Passed Away==