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Kibud Av V'Em: Difference between revisions
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Honoring (Kibud Av V'Em) and being in awe (Moreh Av V'Em) of one's parents are positive [[mitzvot]]. <ref>The Rambam counts both Kibud Av VeEm (Aseh #210) and Moreh Av VeEm (Aseh #211) as positive [[mitzvot]]. The Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah #33 and #212) agrees. Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1 codifies this as halacha.</ref> One should be very careful in [[honoring one's parents]] as the Torah compares [[honoring one's parents]] to honoring Hashem and in some respects is greater.<ref>Gemara [[Kiddushin]] 30b and Bava Metsia 32a. This gemara is quoted by the Kitzur S"A 143:1 and Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1. Yerushalmi ([[Kiddushin]] 1:7) quotes Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai who says that Kibbud Av is greater than honoring Hashem! The Yerushalmi is referenced by the Ritva Bava Metsia 32a s.v. salka, Ran [[Kiddushin]] 13b, and Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1. </ref> | Honoring (Kibud Av V'Em) and being in awe (Moreh Av V'Em) of one's parents are positive [[mitzvot]]. <ref>The Rambam counts both Kibud Av VeEm (Aseh #210) and Moreh Av VeEm (Aseh #211) as positive [[mitzvot]]. The Sefer Hachinuch (Mitzvah #33 and #212) agrees. Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1 codifies this as halacha.</ref> One should be very careful in [[honoring one's parents]] as the Torah compares [[honoring one's parents]] to honoring Hashem and in some respects it is greater.<ref>Gemara [[Kiddushin]] 30b and Bava Metsia 32a. This gemara is quoted by the Kitzur S"A 143:1 and Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1. Yerushalmi ([[Kiddushin]] 1:7) quotes Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai who says that Kibbud Av is greater than honoring Hashem! The Yerushalmi is referenced by the Ritva Bava Metsia 32a s.v. salka, Ran [[Kiddushin]] 13b, and Aruch HaShulchan YD 240:1. </ref> | ||
==General guidelines to the Mitzvah== | ==General guidelines to the Mitzvah== | ||
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# The mitzvah of kibbud av va'em is fundamentally a mitzvah bein adam lachavero. Therefore, even one who repents on Yom Kippur and confesses this sin before Hashem, must ask them for forgiveness. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 100 </ref> | # The mitzvah of kibbud av va'em is fundamentally a mitzvah bein adam lachavero. Therefore, even one who repents on Yom Kippur and confesses this sin before Hashem, must ask them for forgiveness. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 100 </ref> | ||
==Honoring | ==Honoring One's Parents== | ||
# Included in [[honoring one's parents]] is feeding, dressing, and helping them walk. When one is doing such an activity, one should do it with a smile. <ref>Kitzur S"A 143:3</ref> | # Included in [[honoring one's parents]] is feeding, dressing, and helping them walk. When one is doing such an activity, one should do it with a smile. <ref>Kitzur S"A 143:3</ref> | ||
# If one sees one's parent do a sin, one shouldn't say "you sinned" but rather "father, doesn't it say in Torah such and such?" in a question form and the parent will understand and not be embarrassed. <ref>Kitzur S"A 143:10</ref> | # If one sees one's parent do a sin, one shouldn't say "you sinned" but rather "father, doesn't it say in Torah such and such?" in a question form and the parent will understand and not be embarrassed. <ref>Kitzur S"A 143:10</ref> | ||
# If one's parents | # Although one should not generally take care of his own need such as shopping before praying in the morning, one is permitted to go out and buy groceries for his parents even before prayers. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av Va'em pg. 108 </ref> | ||
# If one's parents tell them to violate a Biblical or even a rabbinic prohibition, one shouldn't listen.<ref>Kitzur S"A 143:11</ref> | |||
===Standing for One's Parents=== | ===Standing for One's Parents=== | ||
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# One should stand for one's parent once he enters one's eyesight.<ref>Chaye Adam 67:7, Chiddushei Rav Chaim HaLevi (Talmud Torah 5:1)</ref> | # One should stand for one's parent once he enters one's eyesight.<ref>Chaye Adam 67:7, Chiddushei Rav Chaim HaLevi (Talmud Torah 5:1)</ref> | ||
# According to Ashkenazim one only needs to stand once a day and once a night.<ref>Chaye Adam 67:7</ref> According to Sephardim, one should stand every time a parent enters the room even if it is a hundred times a day.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (YD ch. 4 n. 8)</ref> | # According to Ashkenazim one only needs to stand once a day and once a night.<ref>Chaye Adam 67:7</ref> According to Sephardim, one should stand every time a parent enters the room even if it is a hundred times a day.<ref>Yalkut Yosef (YD ch. 4 n. 8)</ref> | ||
===Honoring in Thought=== | |||
# One must honor his parents in thought as well. One should imagine that his parents are the most important people in the world even if other people do not see it that way. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Kibbud Av pg. 110 </ref> | |||
==Calling Your Parents by Name== | ==Calling Your Parents by Name== | ||
