Inappropriate Staring at the Opposite Gender: Difference between revisions

The basis for the prohibition of staring at the opposite gender inappropriately is the pasuk "ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם אשר אתם זונים אחריהם. למען תזכרו ועשיתם את כל מצותי והייתם קדושים לאלהיכם"<ref>Bamidbar 15:39</ref> Chazal understand it to mean that one's eyes shouldn't gaze at inappropriately dressed women because it leads to sin.<ref>Sifrei Bamidbar 115, Nedarim 20a. Bet Shmuel EH 21:2 citing the Rabbenu Yonah writes that the prohibition to look at inappropriately dressed women is Biblically derived from this pasuk of achrei ayneychem. </ref> Alternatively it is derived from the prohibition to have an inappropriate thought, which is forbidden by the pasuk "נִשְׁמַרְתָּ מִכֹּל דָּבָר רָע"<ref>Devarim 23:10</ref> according to Chazal<ref>Ketubot 46a, Rambam (Isurei Biyah 21:21), Igrot Moshe EH 1:56</ref>.

## Therefore, an obvious conclusion is that it is forbidden for a man to go to a beach where woman are dressed inappropriately.<ref>Igrot Moshe 1:56 writes that it is forbidden for a man to go to the beach because woman are inappropriately dressed there. As a conclusion of the gemara Bava Batra 57b, if he is sick and the doctor recommends for his health to go to the beach to get better it is still forbidden to go there if it is possible to find another beach where women aren't there or a time when women aren't there.</ref>

# Certainly this leniency applies to someone who knows that he won't come to inappropriate thoughts (hirhur) because of his seeing inappropriately dressed woman on his way to work, but can also apply to someone who thinks that it is likely that he won't come to such thoughts. However, someone who thinks that he will certainly come to inappropriate thoughts there it isn't clear that it is permitted.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 1:56. He explains that the leniency to go on a path where there are immodestly dressed women if there's no other option even though it is a negative commandment not to have hirhurim is because either it isn't certain that from seeing the immodest women one will have hirhurim or because hirhurim are only really prohibited in that they lead to bitul zera, which isn't automatic. Therefore, even though all hirhurim are forbidden and looking an inapropriately dressed woman is completely forbidden, when there is a need it is permitted to rely on the effort one will make not to look and not have a hirhur. He concludes that for someone who thinks that it is likely that he can not have hirhurim it is permitted for him to travel on that path if there's a need and there's no other path.  

# Even though today it isn't possible for a man not to walk behind a woman at all when walking in the street, still a person should be careful what he looks at when walking.<Ref>The Gemara Brachot 61a states that it is better to walk behind a lion than a women in the marketplace. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Minchat Shlomo 1:91 writes that today since there are as many women as there are men on the street unlike in the days of chazal it is impossible not to follow a woman in the street. He concludes that for a mitzvah or for etiquette one can be lenient to follow a woman in the street. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/871503/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/rav-willig-s-mother-in-law-s-2nd-yehrzeit-role-of-women/ Rabbi Willig (approx min 30)] added that even though it is impossible not to walk behind women but still you need to be careful of what you see. Rav Nissim Karelitz in Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 268) writes that nowadays when it is impossible not to walk behind a woman in the streets one should walk quickly so as not to follow a particular woman. </ref>