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Hurting Others' Feelings: Difference between revisions
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# One may not cause another discomfort by saying a long Shemoneh Esrei directly behind someone who plans to sit down after being able to take his three steps back. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 91 quoting the Yerushalmi Rosh Hashana 2:5 </ref> | # One may not cause another discomfort by saying a long Shemoneh Esrei directly behind someone who plans to sit down after being able to take his three steps back. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 91 quoting the Yerushalmi Rosh Hashana 2:5 </ref> | ||
# It is prohibited to crowd around an ambulance when the ill person is being brought in, since it causes pain, fright and embarrassment to the family. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89. </ref> | # It is prohibited to crowd around an ambulance when the ill person is being brought in, since it causes pain, fright and embarrassment to the family. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89. </ref> | ||
# | # One may not embarrass another by asking him a question that he may not know the answer to. <ref> S"A CM 428:4 based on gemara Bava Metzia 58b. </ref> A rabbi may do so under certain circumstances in order to sharpen his students. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89, Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 246:12, based on Bava Metzia 85a. </ref> | ||
# One may not ask a guest to say a dvar Torah unless one knows that he would be able to say one. <ref> Sefer Chassidim 312 </ref> | # One may not ask a guest to say a dvar Torah unless one knows that he would be able to say one. <ref> Sefer Chassidim 312 </ref> | ||
# One may not make prank phone calls, or perform other practical jokes that are likely to cause any degree of hassle, pain or anguish like calling a fire engine for no reason. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89 </ref> | # One may not make prank phone calls, or perform other practical jokes that are likely to cause any degree of hassle, pain or anguish like calling a fire engine for no reason. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89 </ref> | ||
# One is obligated to return sefarim or library books to the correct shelf immediately after use. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89 </ref> | # One is obligated to return sefarim or library books to the correct shelf immediately after use. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 89 </ref> | ||
# Some say that one should not tell a sick person “Ad Me’ah Ve’Esrim” –“May you live until 120” because it may be considered like a curse limiting their time to 120 years. <ref>Rav Yitzchak Zilberstein in Alienu LeShabe’ach writes that one shouldn’t say to a sick person “Ad Me’ah Ve’Esrim” –“May you live until 120” because it may be considered like a curse limiting their time to 120 years. [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pagefeed/hebrewbooks_org_50515_251.pdf Rav Gamliel Rabinowitz] quotes this and agrees although he posits that the custom is based on the Malbim’s understanding of Beresheet 6:3. See similar quotes [http://www.bhol.co.il/forums/topic.asp?topic_id=1502069&forum_id=13639 here] and in Ein Lamo Michshol (v. 6 n. 4 p. 243). </ref> | |||
===Financial Hurt=== | ===Financial Hurt=== | ||
# It is prohibited to ask a seller how much an item costs, or to stare at an item, if one has no interest in buying it. <ref> S"A CM 28:4 based on Mishna and gemara Bava Metzia 58b. Meiri there gives two reasons for the prohibition. 1. Other potential customers who observe one’s decision to refrain from purchasing the item would conclude that the item is overpriced and would consequently only buy it for less, causing the seller financial pain. 2. One’s decision to refrain from buying the item, having appeared to be interested, causes the seller to feel dejected. </ref> However, it is permitted if one informs the seller from the onset of one’s intention to only enquire or browse rather than to buy. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 88. </ref> | # It is prohibited to ask a seller how much an item costs, or to stare at an item, if one has no interest in buying it. <ref> S"A CM 28:4 based on Mishna and gemara Bava Metzia 58b. Meiri there gives two reasons for the prohibition. 1. Other potential customers who observe one’s decision to refrain from purchasing the item would conclude that the item is overpriced and would consequently only buy it for less, causing the seller financial pain. 2. One’s decision to refrain from buying the item, having appeared to be interested, causes the seller to feel dejected. </ref> However, it is permitted if one informs the seller from the onset of one’s intention to only enquire or browse rather than to buy. <ref> Mishpatei Hashalom page 88. </ref> | ||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
