Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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==Sitting Together== | ==Sitting Together== | ||
====Benches and Couches==== | |||
# | #According to the letter of the law, they may sit on a long bench or even a soft couch ("Safsal HaMitnadned") where each others movement can be felt, provided that they take care not to touch each other.<ref>Beit Yosef, Yoreh Deah 195:5</ref> The Ashkenazi custom is to prohibit sitting together on a long bench or couch where the movement of one can be felt by the other.<ref>Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) brings this as a Chumrah that should be implemented. See Responsa Trumat Hadeshen (no. 251, brought by Rama Yoreh Deah 195:5) who brings this prohibition. | ||
There are a number of alternative explanations given for this prohibition: | There are a number of alternative explanations given for this prohibition: | ||
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*Trumat Hadeshen (251) implies that the issue is causing endearment which often comes along to sitting next to each-other. | *Trumat Hadeshen (251) implies that the issue is causing endearment which often comes along to sitting next to each-other. | ||
*Aruch Hashulchan (195:19) writes that this serves as a precaution from touch. | *Aruch Hashulchan (195:19) writes that this serves as a precaution from touch. | ||
</ref> If however, another person sits between them, this would be permitted.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:5) from the Agudda</ref> | </ref> If however, another person sits between them, this would be permitted.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:5) from the Agudda</ref> This is ''not'' the custom of most Sephardi communities,<ref>Taharat HaBayit vol. 2, 12:20. Rav Ovadia argues that even those who were machmir should change their custom once they arrive in Eretz Yisrael.</ref> including Teimanim,<ref>Orot HaTahora 9:20 (Rav Zecharia Ben Shlomo)</ref> but it ''was'' the custom of the community in Baghdad.<ref>Ben Ish Chai (II Tzav 23 and Rav Pealim 3 YD 17) says this is the custom in Baghdad. Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Darkei Taharah 5:6) similarly recommends that all Sephardim keep this custom nowadays. Orot HaTahora 9:20 explains Rav Ovadia is also arguing on what was the custom in Baghdad, based on a Zivchei Tzedek that he brings in the Mishmeret HaTaharah ad loc. Rav Tal Doar summarizes the views in Tallelei Tohar 4:106.</ref> | ||
===Traveling Together=== | ===Traveling Together=== | ||
#A couple may travel together in a private car or by public transportation, even when they sit next to each other as long as they are careful not to touch each other or each other's clothing.<ref>*The Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) writes that a man shouldn't sit on the same bench as his wife but it is only a chumra. The Trumat Hadeshen 251 holds that this only applies to a bench that is wobbly and not connected to the ground. However, if it is attached to the ground there is no concern. The Rama YD 195:5 codifies the Trumat Hadeshen. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 1:92 compares a car to a bench attached to the ground since it doesn't wobble because of one person's weight. Therefore, it is permissible for a man to sit with his wife on the same bench in the car when she's a niddah as long as they are careful not to touch. Taharat Yosef 3:30 agrees.</ref> | #A couple may travel together in a private car or by public transportation, even when they sit next to each other as long as they are careful not to touch each other or each other's clothing.<ref>*The Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) writes that a man shouldn't sit on the same bench as his wife but it is only a chumra. The Trumat Hadeshen 251 holds that this only applies to a bench that is wobbly and not connected to the ground. However, if it is attached to the ground there is no concern. The Rama YD 195:5 codifies the Trumat Hadeshen. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 1:92 compares a car to a bench attached to the ground since it doesn't wobble because of one person's weight. Therefore, it is permissible for a man to sit with his wife on the same bench in the car when she's a niddah as long as they are careful not to touch. Taharat Yosef 3:30 agrees.</ref> | ||
#Traveling in a car for a vacation or pleasure trip is permissible.<ref>The Trumat Hadeshen 251 writes that it is forbidden for a man to go in a wagon with his wife when she's a niddah if the purpose of their travel is pleasure. Rama YD 195:5 quotes this as the halacha. Igrot Moshe YD 2:83 explains that this restriction only meant to forbid going in a wagon for pleasure but walking together for a pleasure trip is permissible. Similarly, going in a car for a pleasure trip isn't like sitting on the same bench and is permitted even for pleasure.</ref> However, some poskim are strict unless the traveling is for a purpose.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 195:20 writes that it isn't proper to go on a pleasure walk if one's wife when she's a niddah just like the Trumat Hadeshen and Rama forbade traveling in a wagon together for pleasure. Badei Hashulchan 195:93 agrees. Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 144 writes that it is an unnecessary stringency but nonetheless one has to be careful not to speak endearing words and come to levity.</ref> | #Traveling in a car for a vacation or pleasure trip is permissible.<ref>The Trumat Hadeshen 251 writes that it is forbidden for a man to go in a wagon with his wife when she's a niddah if the purpose of their travel is pleasure. Rama YD 195:5 quotes this as the halacha. Igrot Moshe YD 2:83 explains that this restriction only meant to forbid going in a wagon for pleasure but walking together for a pleasure trip is permissible. Similarly, going in a car for a pleasure trip isn't like sitting on the same bench and is permitted even for pleasure.</ref> However, some poskim are strict unless the traveling is for a purpose.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 195:20 writes that it isn't proper to go on a pleasure walk if one's wife when she's a niddah just like the Trumat Hadeshen and Rama forbade traveling in a wagon together for pleasure. Badei Hashulchan 195:93 agrees. Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 144 writes that it is an unnecessary stringency but nonetheless one has to be careful not to speak endearing words and come to levity.</ref> | ||
#If the couple is using public transportation and they want to sit next to each other, he should sit on the outside and she should be near the window because he can be more careful and they should preferably place an item between them since it is difficult to otherwise avoid contact. | #If the couple is using public transportation and they want to sit next to each other, he should sit on the outside and she should be near the window because he can be more careful and they should preferably place an item between them since it is difficult to otherwise avoid contact.<Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:31</ref> | ||
#Some Sephardic authorities recommend being strict on sitting together in transit, even though they are lenient by sitting together in general.<ref>Shiurei Beracha (Yoreh Deah 15), Shayim She'al 2:38:43 says it's for Yirei Shamayim but see the footnotes in Shiurei Beracha, Kaf HaChaim (Palagi, 4:9), Ben Ish Chai (II Tzav 23 and Rav Pealim 3 YD 17), Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Darkei Taharah 5:6), Tallelei Tohar 4:107 in the name of Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul.</ref> | |||
==Passing Objects== | ==Passing Objects== | ||
