Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions

#During this period, a couple must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or lightheartedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that this only refers to intimate speech, and that which is construed as regular conversation between adults is permitted.     

#A husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skills or the like during this period, because this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you".  </ref> The same applies to speech normally used to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere in the home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref>

#Presenting a gift to the other during this time is permitted, provided this gesture not lead them to act intimate or touch.<ref>Tahrat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 109), The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 38)</ref>

#There is a dispute between the authorities in regards to the permissibility of a couple playing board games together during this period. Leniency understandably is provided that they do not come to lighthearted or physical behavior.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (vol. 2, pg. 264) quoting Rabbi Elyashiv as forbidding. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) however, argues and permits this. See also Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 123) who writes that the custom is to permit this. He does however recommend various precautions couples should implement during recreational play.</ref>