Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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#A husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skills or the like during this period, because this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (Vol. 3, No. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you". </ref> The same applies to speech normally used to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere in the home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref> | #A husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skills or the like during this period, because this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (Vol. 3, No. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you". </ref> The same applies to speech normally used to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere in the home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref> | ||
#Presenting a gift to the other | #Presenting a gift to the other during this time is permitted, provided this gesture not lead them to act intimate or touch.<ref>Tahrat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 109), The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 38)</ref> | ||
#Reading a book together is permitted, provided that they are cautious not to touch one another.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 108)</ref> | #Reading a book together is permitted, provided that they are cautious not to touch one another.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 108)</ref> | ||
#There is a dispute between the authorities in regards to a couple playing board games together during this period. Leniency understandably is provided that they do not come to lighthearted or physical behavior.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (vol. 2, pg. 264) quoting Rabbi Elyashiv as forbidding. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) however, argues and permits this. See also Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 123) who writes that the custom is to permit this. He does however recommend various precautions couples should implement during recreational play.</ref> | #There is a dispute between the authorities in regards to the permissibility of a couple playing board games together during this period. Leniency understandably is provided that they do not come to lighthearted or physical behavior.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (vol. 2, pg. 264) quoting Rabbi Elyashiv as forbidding. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) however, argues and permits this. See also Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 123) who writes that the custom is to permit this. He does however recommend various precautions couples should implement during recreational play.</ref> | ||
==Seclusion== | ==Seclusion== | ||
#The laws of [[Yichud]] prohibit the seclusion of a man and a woman who are forbidden to each other, with the goal to obviate the two from improper intimate behavior. This does not apply to a married couple during the menstruation periods, and they may be secluded in private quarters.<ref>Sanhedrin 37a, Rav Kahana's discussion with an heretic. Tosfos (v.s. HaTorah) explain that this is because the two will anyhow be permitted to each other in due course, Yichud is not problematic. Alternatively, the Rosh (Hilchot Niddah, Siman 2) explains that in order to make marital life possible and practical by allowing husband and wife to live together, our Sages derived that their seclusion is permissible. See Shulchan Aruch (Even Haezer 22:1).</ref> However, if a bride is a niddah at her wedding, the law is different, where the newlyweds may not even be left alone together, particularly at night, until the completion of her purification.<ref>Ketubot 4a: "A groom whose wife began to menstruate at the time of the wedding, he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women, until she becomes ritually pure." Shulchan Aruch 192:3; Taharat Habayit (vol. 1, pp. 488-492). In such circumstance, a competent Halachic authority should be consulted. | #The laws of [[Yichud]] prohibit the seclusion of a man and a woman who are forbidden to each other, with the goal to obviate the two from improper intimate behavior. This does not apply to a married couple during the menstruation periods, and they may be secluded in private quarters.<ref>Sanhedrin 37a, Rav Kahana's discussion with an heretic. Tosfos (v.s. HaTorah) explain that this is because the two will anyhow be permitted to each other in due course, Yichud is not problematic. Alternatively, the Rosh (Hilchot Niddah, Siman 2) explains that in order to make marital life possible and practical by allowing husband and wife to live together, our Sages derived that their seclusion is permissible. See Shulchan Aruch (Even Haezer 22:1).</ref> However, if a bride is a niddah at her wedding, the law is different, where the newlyweds may not even be left alone together, particularly at night, until the completion of her purification.<ref>Ketubot 4a: "A groom whose wife began to menstruate at the time of the wedding, he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women, until she becomes ritually pure." Shulchan Aruch 192:3; Taharat Habayit (vol. 1, pp. 488-492). In such circumstance, a competent Halachic authority should be consulted. | ||
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