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Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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===Eating at the Table Together=== | ===Eating at the Table Together=== | ||
# The husband and wife may eat on the same table if they make a sign between them to remind them | # The husband and wife may eat on the same table if they make a sign between them to remind them that she is a niddah. They should place an item that normally isn't on the table between the two of them. <ref> Shulchan Aruch YD 195:3, Taharat Yosef 3:16:2. | ||
* The Mishna Shabbat 11b establishes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a zavah so that they don't come to sin. | |||
* The Rambam writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat on the same place as his wife when she is a niddah. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) argues that it is forbidden even on the same table. Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3), Tur and Shulchan Aruch YD 195:3 follows the Raavad. | |||
* Does Heker Work? The Ravyah (Niddah no. 173) writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a niddah even if there is something unusual on the table to remind them. He writes that the rabbis of Narvona agreed with him. The Hagahot Mordechai (Shabbat no. 452) cites this opinion. The Gra YD 195:8 and 88:2 discusses these opinions and their proof from Shabbat 13a. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) holds that it is permitted for a husband to eat at the same table with a niddah as long as there is something to remind them such as only one eating on the tablecloth. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Torat Habayit 3b]), Tur and Shulchan Aruch 195:3 agree. See the Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3) who allows using something unusual only if there's no other table available. | |||
* What this dispute might be based on? The Sidrei Tahara 195:7 explains that there's two concerns of eating at the same table. The first is that merely eating together is a symbol of endearment. The second is that by eating together at the table they might come to share food on the same plate as we find by eating milk and meat at the same table. He tries to show that this was a dispute between the Raah and Rashba and that the Rosh was concerned for both approaches. According to the first approach, the Sidrei Tahara concludes, that having something unusual on the table is ineffective since either way their eating together will still cause endearment. But according to the second approach as long as there is something unusual on the table they will remember not to share food.</ref> Additionally, they can sit in different seats than they normally would<ref>The Rabbenu Yerucham (cited by Bet Yosef 195:3) writes that it is permitted to eat at the same table as long as they sit in different places from where they usually sit. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 153:6 and Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 119 hold like Rabbenu Yerucham. Badei Hashulchan 195:37 writes that some are strict not to rely on this leniency since it isn't the minhag.</ref>, use separate placemats<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 195:3</ref>, or sit on opposite ends of a very large table which can serve as a reminder.<Ref> Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:3:2, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 119, Taharat Yosef 3:16:3 </ref> | |||
# The prohibition to eat together on the same table doesn't apply if there are others eating with them, even without a sign to remind them.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:17 </ref> However, the prohibition to eat from the same plate still applies.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:18 </ref> | # The prohibition to eat together on the same table doesn't apply if there are others eating with them, even without a sign to remind them.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:17 </ref> However, the prohibition to eat from the same plate still applies.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:18 </ref> | ||
===Eating Each Other's Leftovers=== | ===Eating Each Other's Leftovers=== | ||
# A husband cannot drink the leftovers of his wife's drink in front of her as this is considered a sign of closeness.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19 </ref> This is one directional, meaning the husband cannot drink from what remains in the wife's cup, but the wife is permitted to drink from what her husband leaves over<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:20 </ref> | # A husband cannot drink the leftovers of his wife's drink in front of her as this is considered a sign of closeness.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19 </ref> This is one directional, meaning the husband cannot drink from what remains in the wife's cup, but the wife is permitted to drink from what her husband leaves over<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:20 </ref> | ||
