Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
From Halachipedia
→Hearing her Sing
No edit summary |
Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit |
||
| (17 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |||
| Line 15: | Line 15: | ||
==Intimate Speech== | ==Intimate Speech== | ||
#During this period, couples must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or lightheartedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that this only refers to intimate speech, and that which is construed as regular conversation between adults is permitted. | #During this period, couples must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or lightheartedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and [https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=344 Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b)] explain that this only refers to intimate speech, and that which is construed as regular conversation between adults is permitted. | ||
</ref> | </ref> | ||
#A husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skills or the like during this period, as this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you". </ref> The same applies to speech conventionally used by couples to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere in the home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref> | #A husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skills or the like during this period, as this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you". </ref> The same applies to speech conventionally used by couples to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere in the home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref> | ||
| Line 44: | Line 44: | ||
#The Rabbis also forbade couples from sharing a plate while eating together.<ref>Rambam (Isurei Biah 11:18), Rama (195:4,14) </ref> This prohibition applies at all times, even while dining with others.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112) writes that even if others are at the same table this prohibition may not be compromised. | #The Rabbis also forbade couples from sharing a plate while eating together.<ref>Rambam (Isurei Biah 11:18), Rama (195:4,14) </ref> This prohibition applies at all times, even while dining with others.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112) writes that even if others are at the same table this prohibition may not be compromised. | ||
Pitchei Teshuva (195:5) asks: what was the need of this ruling, aren't leftovers of one's spouse anyhow forbidden? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:92) explains that the Masat Binyamin speaks of where the food is small portions where although there is no prohibition of eating her leftovers, this prohibition applies. </ref> | Pitchei Teshuva (195:5) asks: what was the need of this ruling, aren't leftovers of one's spouse anyhow forbidden? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:92) explains that the Masat Binyamin speaks of where the food is small portions where although there is no prohibition of eating her leftovers, this prohibition applies. </ref> | ||
#They may use a shared central serving platter, provided they place the food on their own plates or on the table before eating.<ref>Taz (Yoreh Deah 195:2), Darchei Tahara (pg. 45), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 117)</ref> | #They may use a shared central serving platter, provided they place the food on their own plates or on the table before eating.<ref>Taz (Yoreh Deah 195:2), Darchei Tahara (pg. 45), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 117)</ref> | ||
#They may not eat from the same serving bowl unless they first put it down on their own plates. Similarly, if there is a serving bowl with rolls or fruits they can each take from it even without placing it down on a plate, though some are strict in this case.<reF>Mishmeret Hatahara 195:39</ref> | |||
#They may dip their bread in a shared salt dish.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 118) </ref> | #They may dip their bread in a shared salt dish.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 118) </ref> | ||
===Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers=== | ===Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers=== | ||
#The Rabbis also prohibited the husband from drinking his wife's leftovers, as this is an act that denotes endearment.<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> This restriction applies specifically to the male, the wife however, may eat or drink her husband's leftovers.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4). The | #The Rabbis also prohibited the husband from drinking his wife's leftovers, as this is an act that denotes endearment.<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> This restriction applies specifically to the male, the wife however, may eat or drink her husband's leftovers.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4). The Taz 195:5 explains that this act only denotes endearment to males drinking their wives leftovers and not the other way around.</ref> | ||
#The husband may partake of his wife's leftovers in any of the following circumstances: | #The husband may partake of his wife's leftovers in any of the following circumstances: | ||
#*The drink was transferred to another utensil. This is | #*The drink was transferred to another utensil. This is permitted even if the contents were then poured back into the original utensil.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4), Badei Hashulchan 195:65, Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pp. 125-127). Badei Hashulchan 195:67 adds that it is permitted to intentionally pour it from one utensil to another to make it permitted.</ref> | ||
#*If someone else drank from the cup after her drinking, separating between their drinking.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> | #*If someone else drank from the cup after her drinking, separating between their drinking.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> | ||
#*He is not aware that she drank from this utensil (she need not inform him)<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125). The reason for this is because if he is not aware that she drank from this cup, his action carries no connotation of endearment. </ref> | #*He is not aware that she drank from this utensil (she need not inform him)<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125). The reason for this is because if he is not aware that she drank from this cup, his action carries no connotation of endearment. </ref> | ||
| Line 60: | Line 60: | ||
#Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref> | #Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref> | ||
#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref> | #According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref> | ||
#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref> | ##For example, if a husband and wife cut up a large loaf of bread, which is meant for more than one person, it is permitted for each of them to each from their own slice since it is meant for multiple people. However, a small roll which is meant for one person cannot be split.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref> | ||
#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref> Some are lenient.<Ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:51</ref> | |||
==Using the Spouse's Bed== | ==Using the Spouse's Bed== | ||
| Line 107: | Line 108: | ||
</ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref> | </ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref> | ||
#Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref> | #Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref> | ||
#Ashkenazim prohibit the throwing of objects in a straight line from one spouse to the other.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:2) </ref> Throwing something on a trajectory upwards, however, is disputed.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:2)</ref> Most Sephardic authorities permit even direct throwing.<ref>Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Parashat Tzav, no. 22) rules that throwing is prohibited. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Torat HaTaharah (pg. 99) | #Ashkenazim prohibit the throwing of objects in a straight line from one spouse to the other.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:2) </ref> Throwing something on a trajectory upwards, however, is disputed.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:2)</ref> Most Sephardic authorities permit even direct throwing.<ref>Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Parashat Tzav, no. 22) rules that throwing is prohibited. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Torat HaTaharah (pg. 99) and Taharat Yosef (3:7:3), however, permits this, with proof that this is Sephardic custom. Rabbi Lehbar (Magen Avot YD p. 140) also writes that Moroccans are lenient but someone who is strict should be blessed.</ref> | ||
#During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | #During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | ||
#At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | #At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | ||
| Line 123: | Line 124: | ||
==Hearing her Sing== | ==Hearing her Sing== | ||
#There is a dispute if a husband can listen to his wife sing when she is a niddah. The same dispute is relevant to singing zemiros Shabbos together.<ref>[https://ph.yhb.org.il/category/טהרת-המשפחה/18-03/ Peninei Halacha (Niddah 3:3)] writes that listening to her sing normally or sing zemiros is permitted, though some are strict.</ref> | |||
#According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref> | #According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref> | ||
See also [[Listening_to_Women_Sing#Married_Women|Listening to Women Sing: Married Women]]. | |||
==Smelling her Perfume== | ==Smelling her Perfume== | ||
| Line 148: | Line 149: | ||
===Pouring Water for the Husband to Wash With=== | ===Pouring Water for the Husband to Wash With=== | ||
#A woman may not pour water on her husband so he can wash his hands, feet, and face even if she is careful not to touch her husband since this expresses affection.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:59. The Gemara Ketubot 61a explains that a niddah can not wash her husband's hands, feet, or face. The Rashba Ketubot 61a adds that it is forbidden even for her to pour the water and him to wash himself since the gemara wouldn't need to say that it is forbidden for her to touch him even in a non-affectionate way.</ref> | #A woman may not pour water on her husband so he can wash his hands, feet, and face even if she is careful not to touch her husband since this expresses affection.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:59. The Gemara Ketubot 61a explains that a niddah can not wash her husband's hands, feet, or face. The Rashba Ketubot 61a adds that it is forbidden even for her to pour the water and him to wash himself since the gemara wouldn't need to say that it is forbidden for her to touch him even in a non-affectionate way.</ref> | ||
#Some poskim hold that it is permitted for a woman to fill a bath for her husband but it is better for her to do so not in his presence. Others forbid this.<ref>The Rashba Ketubot 61a and Taharat Habayit 4a holds that it is only forbidden to pour water on her husband. However, Rabbenu Yonah (Igeret Hateshuva n. 75) forbids even filling a container of water for him to use to wash himself. Shach 195:14 agrees with Rabbenu Yonah. Taz 195:8 argues. Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 199 accepts the Rashba and Taz and therefore permits preparing a bath for him but adds that it is better to do so not in his presence. Shevet Halevi 2:100 who forbids preparing a bath for him even according to the Taz since there's an element of endearment (chibah).</ref> | #Some poskim hold that it is permitted for a woman to fill a bath for her husband but it is better for her to do so not in his presence. Others forbid this.<ref>The Rashba Ketubot 61a and Taharat Habayit 4a holds that it is only forbidden to pour water on her husband. However, Rabbenu Yonah (Igeret Hateshuva n. 75) forbids even filling a container of water for him to use to wash himself. Shach 195:14 agrees with Rabbenu Yonah. Taz 195:8 argues. Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 199 accepts the Rashba and Taz and therefore permits preparing a bath for him but adds that it is better to do so not in his presence. Shevet Halevi 2:100 who forbids preparing a bath for him even according to the Taz since there's an element of endearment (chibah).</ref> | ||
#There is no prohibition for a woman to prepare water for her husband to wash his hand for netilat yedayim.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:60</ref> | #There is no prohibition for a woman to prepare water for her husband to wash his hand for [[netilat yedayim]].<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:60</ref> | ||
#All of these laws apply in both directions. Thus, the husband cannot prepare water for her to use for washing her hands, feet, and face, but all of the aforementioned leniencies would still apply.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> | #All of these laws apply in both directions. Thus, the husband cannot prepare water for her to use for washing her hands, feet, and face, but all of the aforementioned leniencies would still apply.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> | ||
===Serving Foods and Drinks=== | |||
#A woman should not serve food<ref>Bach 195:9 and Shach 195:13 hold that the prohibition of serving applies to all drinks and foods, even though the Rashba applies it only to wine. Taz 195:3 believes that the prohibition is limited to wine. Aruch Hashulchan 195:28 agrees. Bear Heitiv 195:9 echoes the Shach. Badei Hashulchan 195:128 rules like the Shach.</ref> or pour drinks other than water<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:128 quoting Piskei Dinim Tzemech Tzedek is lenient to serve water since it is certainly not significant.</ref> for her husband when she is a niddah.<ref>Ketubot 61a, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:10</ref> | |||
# Sephardim hold that this only applies to wine. A wife may serve her husband food and vice versa.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 188</ref> | |||
# This law applies in both directions so a husband may not pour drinks or serve food for his wife.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13. Badei Hashulchan 195:159 writes that Shach and those who are strict on other drinks besides wine and food would be strict for also for a husband serving a wife.</ref> | |||
===Pouring a Kiddush Cup=== | |||
# A wife may not pour a cup of wine for her husband and he may not pour a cup of wine for his wife. Even for Kiddush the husband should not pass his kiddush cup to his wife to drink. If she isn't the only one who drinks from the cup, such as if all of the members of the family drink it is permitted.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 191</ref> | |||
# A husband may not pour his wife wine or pass her the kiddush cup. If someone else besides the husband and wife drink from the kiddush cup there is no issue with the husband and wife both drinking from the kiddush cup. It doesn't matter whether that person drinks between or after them.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 pp. 191-2</ref> | |||
#Some say that sending a drink to your wife only applies to wine,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 191</ref> others extend it to other important drinks.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:163</ref> | |||
==Summary of Harchakot== | |||
{| class="wikitable" | |||
|- | |||
! Activity !! Wife to/for Husband !! Husband to/for Wife !! Not in Spouse's Presence | |||
|- | |||
| Eating Spouse's Leftovers || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4, Taz 195:5, Badei Hashulchan 195:52</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4</ref> | |||
|- | |||
| Sitting on the Spouse's Bed || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref> | |||
|- | |||
| Lying on the Spouse's Bed || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref> | |||
|- | |||
| Looking at Spouse's Usually Covered Body Parts || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:7</ref> || N/A | |||
|- | |||
| Pouring Drinks (and Serving Food) for Spouse || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Badei Hashulchan 195:159, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 188</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted<ref>Rama 195:10, Shach 195:14. Shach rejects Bach who is strict.</ref> | |||
|- | |||
| Making Spouse's Bed || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:57</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#9aff99;" | Permitted<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:11</ref> | |||
|- | |||
| Pouring Water upon Spouse || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> || style="background-color:#ffccc9;" | Forbidden || style="background-color:#ffffc7;" | Dispute<ref>Shach 195:14 holds that it is forbidden to prepare water for one's spouse's bath, while Taz 195:8 is lenient.</ref> | |||
|- | |||
|} | |||
==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries== | ==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries== | ||
#Ashkenazim have a minhag that woman don't look at the sefer torah when they are a niddah<ref>Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) writes that a niddah shouldn't go into a shul. The Hagahot Maimoniyot (Tefillah 4:3) comments that the minhag was that a niddah wouldn't go into a shul. The Trumat Hadeshen (pesakim 132) permitted a niddah to go into shul on Yamim Noraim since otherwise they would feel bad not going to shul when everyone else is going. However, the Agur (no. 1388) writes that the minhag was that a niddah would go in a shul but just not look at the sefer torah when it is opened. The above discussion is all quoted in the Darkei Moshe YD 195:5. The Rama OC 88:1 quotes the dispute and concludes that the minhag was that a niddah shouldn't go into a shul. The Mishna Brurah 88:7 writes that the minhag today is to go into a shul but just not to look at the sefer torah when it is open.</ref> and don't go to a cemetery when they are a niddah unless she would feel bad by not being able to go to the cemetery.<ref>The Pitchei Teshuva YD 195:19 cites the Chamudei Daniel as saying that a niddah shouldn't go to a cemetery to daven. The Mishna Brurah 88:7 writes that a niddah shouldn't go to a cemetery. Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195 writes that a niddah shouldn't go to the cemetery because of a concern of mystical reason of tumah. However, it is permitted for her to go and stand 4 amot from the grave. </ref> | #Ashkenazim have a minhag that woman don't look at the sefer torah when they are a niddah<ref>Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) writes that a niddah shouldn't go into a shul. The Hagahot Maimoniyot (Tefillah 4:3) comments that the minhag was that a niddah wouldn't go into a shul. The Trumat Hadeshen (pesakim 132) permitted a niddah to go into shul on Yamim Noraim since otherwise they would feel bad not going to shul when everyone else is going. However, the Agur (no. 1388) writes that the minhag was that a niddah would go in a shul but just not look at the sefer torah when it is opened. The above discussion is all quoted in the Darkei Moshe YD 195:5. The Rama OC 88:1 quotes the dispute and concludes that the minhag was that a niddah shouldn't go into a shul. The Mishna Brurah 88:7 writes that the minhag today is to go into a shul but just not to look at the sefer torah when it is open.</ref> and don't go to a cemetery when they are a niddah unless she would feel bad by not being able to go to the cemetery.<ref>The Pitchei Teshuva YD 195:19 cites the Chamudei Daniel as saying that a niddah shouldn't go to a cemetery to daven. The Mishna Brurah 88:7 writes that a niddah shouldn't go to a cemetery. Rabbi Lehbar (Magen Avot YD p. 141) writes that some Moroccans are strict that a niddah doesn't go to the cemetery. Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195 writes that a niddah shouldn't go to the cemetery because of a concern of mystical reason of tumah. However, it is permitted for her to go and stand 4 amot from the grave. </ref> | ||
#During this period women may - and must - recite all blessings and prayers as usual.<ref>Shaarei Dura (no. 18) forbids niddot from reciting God's name. Darkei Moshe (195:5) also concludes likewise. Accordingly, Rama (Orach Chaim 88:1) writes that the custom is that a niddah is not to pray. See however, Bet Yosef (88:1), Magen Avraham (88:2), Pri Chadash (88:1), Maaseh Rav (no. 58), | #During this period women may - and must - recite all blessings and prayers as usual.<ref>Shaarei Dura (no. 18) forbids niddot from reciting God's name. Darkei Moshe (195:5) also concludes likewise. Accordingly, Rama (Orach Chaim 88:1) writes that the custom is that a niddah is not to pray. See however, Bet Yosef (88:1), Magen Avraham (88:2), Pri Chadash (88:1), Maaseh Rav (no. 58), Mishna Brurah (88:7), and Rabbi Lehbar (Magen Avot YD p. 141) all rule that women are obligated in the recital of all blessings. See also Responsa Tzitz Eliezer (vol. 10, no. 8) who writes that the current day Bais Yaakov seminaries all do not follow the Rama's ruling. </ref> | ||
==Links== | ==Links== | ||
