Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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</ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref> | </ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref> | ||
#Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref> | #Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref> | ||
#Ashkenazim prohibit the throwing of objects in a straight line from one spouse to the other.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:2) </ref> Throwing something on a trajectory upwards, however, is disputed.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:2)</ref> Most Sephardic authorities permit even direct throwing.<ref>Torat HaTaharah | #Ashkenazim prohibit the throwing of objects in a straight line from one spouse to the other.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:2) </ref> Throwing something on a trajectory upwards, however, is disputed.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:2)</ref> Most Sephardic authorities permit even direct throwing.<ref>Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Parashat Tzav, no. 22) rules that throwing is prohibited. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Torat HaTaharah (pg. 99), Taharat Yosef (3:7:3) however, permits this, with proof that this is Sephardic custom. </ref> | ||
#During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | #During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | ||
#At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | #At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | ||
