Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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#If the couple is using public transportation and they want to sit next to each other, he should sit on the outside and she should be near the window because he can be more careful and they should preferably place an item between them since it is difficult to otherwise avoid contact.<ref><nowiki><Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:31</nowiki></ref> | #If the couple is using public transportation and they want to sit next to each other, he should sit on the outside and she should be near the window because he can be more careful and they should preferably place an item between them since it is difficult to otherwise avoid contact.<ref><nowiki><Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:31</nowiki></ref> | ||
==Passing | ==Passing Objects== | ||
# | #It is prohibited for the couple to pass objects from hand to hand, instead one should place the object on a surface, or drop it, and the other should pick it up. The Rabbis prohibited this in order to prevent any possibility of them touching.<ref>Torat HaTaharah (pg. 98), Taharat Yosef (3:7) | ||
*Shitah Mikubeset Ketubot 61 s.v. vekatvu | *Shitah Mikubeset (Ketubot 61 s.v. vekatvu, from Talmidei Rabbenu Yonah) explains that the reason it is forbidden for a man to pass something to his wife (and vice versa) when she is a niddah is because passing an object is like touching. | ||
*Tosfot (Ketubot 61a s.v. biymey) writes that Rashi personally was careful not to pass anything to his wife when she was a niddah. | *Tosfot (Ketubot 61a s.v. biymey) writes that Rashi personally was careful not to pass anything to his wife when she was a niddah. Tosfot however argue and permit this. The Rashba (Torat Habayit Hakatzar 4a) and Rosh (Ketubot 5:24) are strict. Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:2) rules likewise. | ||
</ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref> | |||
#Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref> | |||
# | #Throwing objects on a straight line directly from one spouse to the other is also prohibited for Ashkenazim. Throwing something on a trajectory (volleyball) or bouncing it (ping pong, indoor squash) is a matter of dispute among Ashkenazi halachic decisors. Sephardim permit throwing, even directly.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99, Taharat Yosef 3:7:3</ref> | ||
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#During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | #During the wedding ceremony, the groom may place the ring on the bride's finger, even if she is a niddah, he does not have to throw it to her. However, it is proper that he be as careful as possible to avoid touching her when giving her the ring. He should place it on the tip of her finger, and allow her to let it slide down her finger.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99</ref> | ||
#At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | #At a berit milah (bris or circumcision) if the mother wants to hand the baby to her husband who is the sandakthe person who holds the baby on his lap during the berit), it is the Sephardic custom to be lenient by having the baby placed on top of two pillows. The woman holds the baby by placing her hands underneath the bottom pillow, and the husband takes the baby from her by lifting the top pillow along with the baby, while the bottom pillow remains with the mother. (In this way they avoid touching). This custom has deep roots among the great Sephardic sages and the Ge'onim. The Ashkenazim though, are strict in this matter. A woman who just gave birth may not pass the baby directly to her husband who is the sandak. Rather, another man should take the baby from her and hand him over to the father.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 99-100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:4</ref> | ||
