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Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions

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#According to some authorities, this requirement is not needed when dining accompanied by other adults or with children old enough to be embarrassed by intimate behavior.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112, quoted by the Pitchei Teshuva 195:3) considers the presence of others as a heker. Shiurei Bracha (195:11), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), Darkei Tahara (pg. 44) rule this way as well. Rabbi Mordechai Willig ([http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/877146/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-125-eating-at-the-same-table/ Niddah Shiur 125]) is lenient regarding this as well.
#According to some authorities, this requirement is not needed when dining accompanied by other adults or with children old enough to be embarrassed by intimate behavior.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112, quoted by the Pitchei Teshuva 195:3) considers the presence of others as a heker. Shiurei Bracha (195:11), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), Darkei Tahara (pg. 44) rule this way as well. Rabbi Mordechai Willig ([http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/877146/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-125-eating-at-the-same-table/ Niddah Shiur 125]) is lenient regarding this as well.
Badei Hashulchan (195:34) however brings that the Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Mishmeret Habayit 3b]) held that the presence of others does not help, and the Raah ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Bedek Habayit 3b]) also only permitted if someone sat in between the husband and wife. He does however agree that this is room to be lenient Halachically. </ref>
Badei Hashulchan (195:34) however brings that the Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Mishmeret Habayit 3b]) held that the presence of others does not help, and the Raah ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Bedek Habayit 3b]) also only permitted if someone sat in between the husband and wife. He does however agree that this is room to be lenient Halachically. </ref>
#According to some authorities, drinking or noshing on a small snack does not mandate a reminder.<ref>[[Responsa Tzitz Eliezer (vol. 18, no. 23)]],  The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)</ref>
#According to some authorities, drinking or noshing on a small snack does not mandate a reminder.<ref>Responsa Tzitz Eliezer (vol. 18, no. 23),  The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)</ref>
#A sefer or siddur should not be used as a reminder as this constitutes irreverent usage of Holy Books. (See [[Respecting Holy Books]]).<ref>Ohel Yakov Kavod U'Kedushat Sefarim (pg. 1) quoting Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky</ref>
#A sefer or siddur should not be used as a reminder as this constitutes irreverent usage of Holy Books. (See [[Respecting Holy Books]]).<ref>Ohel Yakov Kavod U'Kedushat Sefarim (pg. 1) quoting Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky</ref>


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==Sitting Together==
==Sitting Together==


#It is forbidden for a man and wife to sit together on a bench or couch that isn't attached to the ground.<ref>The Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) writes that a man shouldn't sit on the same bench as his wife but it is only a chumra. The Trumat Hadeshen 251 holds that this only applies to a bench that is wobbly and not connected to the ground. However, if it is attached to the ground there is no concern. The Rama YD 195:5 codifies the Trumat Hadeshen. There are a number of explanations of this prohibition:
#It is prohibited for them both to sit together on a long bench or couch where the movement of one can be felt by the other.<ref>Shaarei Dura (Niddah no. 18) brings this as a Chumrah that should be implemented. See Responsa Trumat Hadeshen (no. 251, brought by Rama Yoreh Deah 195:5) who brings this prohibition.


*The Taz 195:6 holds that the concern is one of improper thoughts.
There are a number of alternative explanations given for this prohibition:
*The Nekudat Hakesef 195:1 writes that sitting on the same bench which wobbles because of the weight of one's spouse is like touching one another. Alternatively, it is like sleeping in the same bed.
 
*The Trumat Hadeshen 251 implies that the issue is causing endearment to one's wife by sitting next to her.
*Taz (195:6) suggests that this was implemented in order to protect them from coming to improper thoughts.
*The Aruch Hashulchan 195:19 adds that the reason for the stringency is that it might lead to them touching.</ref> If someone is sitting in between them it is permitted.<ref>Rama 195:5 based on the Aguda</ref>
*Nekudat Hakesef (195:1) considers the feeling of the other's movement as touching or like sleeping in the same bed.  
#It is permitted for a man and his wife to sit on the same heavy couch since it doesn't wobble from the weight of one of them.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 195:19, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 144</ref>
*Trumat Hadeshen (251) implies that the issue is causing endearment which often comes along to sitting next to each-other.  
#Some hold that the minhag of Sephardim is to allow a couple to sit on the same bench, while others are strict.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 136 writes that the Sephardic minhag is to be lenient entirely about sitting on the same bench. However, the Ben Ish Chai (Shana Sheni, Tzav no. 23) is strict about a couple sitting on the same bench when she's a niddah.</ref>
*Aruch Hashulchan (195:19) writes that this serves as a precaution from touch.
</ref> If however, another person sits between them, this would be permitted.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:5) from the Agudda</ref> Some Sepharadic authorities are lenient and allow them the sitting on the same bench, even when movement can be felt, provided that they take care not to touch.


===Traveling Together===
===Traveling Together===
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==Smelling her Perfume==
==Smelling her Perfume==


#A husband should not intentionally smell his wife's perfume when she is wearing it, while she is a nidda. If he inadvertently smells it, it is not forbidden.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 195:1 quotes the Birkei Yosef 217:3 who forbids a man from smelling his wife's perfume when she is a niddah. Taharat Yosef 3:41 codifies this but adds that if he unintentionally smells it it isn't forbidden.</ref>
#It is prohibited for the husband to to intentionally smell the aroma of his wife's perfume.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva (195:1) from Birchei Yosef, Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 175).  
 
Taharat Habayit adds that this restriction only applies to the husband, the wife may however intentionally sniff her husbands cologne. </ref>
#A woman may place a fragrance close to her husband so that he can smell it for the beracha of Besamim in Havdala.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:42. See Badei Hashulchan 195:2 s.v. velo who considers this idea. </ref>
#A woman may place a fragrance close to her husband so that he can smell it for the beracha of Besamim in Havdala.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:42. See Badei Hashulchan 195:2 s.v. velo who considers this idea. </ref>
#A woman may smell her husband's cologne.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:43</ref>


==Acts of Service==
==Acts of Service==
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