Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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#Physical affection of any form is prohibited to a couple during the women's niddah period. To safeguard this sin, the Rabbis prohibited any form of physical contact, even of infinitesimal and unaffectionate touch.<ref>Shabbat 13b relating an incident of a righteous man who died prematurely due to his laxity in adhering to the Rabbis enactments indicates that even ephemeral touch is prohibited. | #Physical affection of any form is prohibited to a couple during the women's niddah period. To safeguard this sin, the Rabbis prohibited any form of physical contact, even of infinitesimal and unaffectionate touch.<ref>Shabbat 13b relating an incident of a righteous man who died prematurely due to his laxity in adhering to the Rabbis enactments indicates that even ephemeral touch is prohibited. | ||
See the Ravyah (Niddah no. 173) and Or Zaruah (1:360) who permit non-affectionate touch. All other Rishonim reject this opinion. This includes, Tosfot (Shabbat 13b s.v. biymey), Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3), Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=347 Torat Habayit Hakatzar 4a]), and Rambam (Isurei Biyah 11:18). Following them, Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:2) prohibits any touch, even when not done for pleasure. </ref> | See the Ravyah (Niddah no. 173) and Or Zaruah (1:360) who permit non-affectionate touch. All other Rishonim reject this opinion. This includes, Tosfot (Shabbat 13b s.v. biymey), Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3), Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=347 Torat Habayit Hakatzar 4a]), and Rambam (Isurei Biyah 11:18). Following them, Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:2) prohibits any touch, even when not done for pleasure. </ref> | ||
#Moreover, the couple must refrain from touching the others outfit that is being worn (e.g., one spouse cannot remove dirt off the other's coat while he/she is wearing it). This is prohibited even if the other can not feel the touch. Additionally, they should even avoid their outfits from touching. This restriction applies only to garments being worn, one may touch clothing not currently worn.<ref>Rashbatz (Responsa Tashbetz, vol. 3, no. 58), Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Darchei Tahara (pg. 41), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 86) </ref> | #Moreover, the couple must refrain from touching the others outfit that is being worn (e.g., one spouse cannot remove dirt off the other's coat while he/she is wearing it). This is prohibited even if the other can not feel the touch. Additionally, they should even avoid their outfits from touching. This restriction applies only to garments being worn, one may touch clothing not currently worn.<ref>Rashbatz (Responsa Tashbetz, vol. 3, no. 58), Pitchei Teshuva (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Darchei Tahara (pg. 41), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 86) </ref> | ||
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==Intimate Speech== | ==Intimate Speech== | ||
# | #During this period, the couple may not engage in levityness or light-headedness, because of the concern that excess frivolity may lead the couple to become physically intimate. This restriction also includes verbal frivolity.<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:1) with Rama, citing Avot D’rabbi Natan (2:1). See also Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer (21:1). | ||
Shach (195:2) points out that although the Avot D'rabbi Natan seems to write that mere unnecessary speech is prohibited, the Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that its intention was only to intimate speech which could lead to sin, regular conversation however is permitted.</ref> | |||
# | #There is a dispute between the authorities regarding the permissibly of couples playing board games together. Leniency is understandably so long as this activity will not lead them to act frivolously or touch.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (195:7 v. 2 p. 264) quotes Rabbi Elyashiv as prohibiting board games and the like. Responsa Mishneh Halachot (vo. 5, no. 150) rules this was as well. See however, Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) who argues.</ref> | ||
#Reading a book together is permitted, provided that they are cautious not to touch one another.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 108)</ref> | |||
#Buying a gift for one another during this time is permitted. This also includes a husband buying flowers for his wife on Erev Shabbat or in occasion of her birthday. <ref>Responsa Shevet Halevi (vol. 5, no. 115-116)</ref>All this is provided these presents not lead them to act intimate or touch.<ref>Tahrat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 109)</ref> | |||
==Seclusion== | ==Seclusion== | ||
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#Also, if the couple passes the child in a playful manner, that is prohibited, since doing so promotes intimacy.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 100</ref> | #Also, if the couple passes the child in a playful manner, that is prohibited, since doing so promotes intimacy.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 100</ref> | ||
#It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other.<ref>Taharat Habayit 2:12:8, Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | #It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other.<ref>Taharat Habayit 2:12:8, Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | ||
==Looking at One's Wife== | ==Looking at One's Wife== | ||
