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Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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→Sitting on Her Bed
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# The wife may lie on her husband's bed as long as he isn't there, and may sit on his bed even if he is there.<ref>Taz 195:6, Badei Hashulchan 195:79, Taharat Yosef 3:24</ref> | # The wife may lie on her husband's bed as long as he isn't there, and may sit on his bed even if he is there.<ref>Taz 195:6, Badei Hashulchan 195:79, Taharat Yosef 3:24</ref> | ||
# A couch which isn't exclusively used by her, the husband may lie on it even in front of his wife.<ref> Badei Hashulchan 195:80, Taharat Yosef 3:22 </ref> The husband can sit in a chair, even if it is special for her even if it is a reclining chair in which she takes naps.<ref> Beer Moshe 5:144, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 135, Taharat Yosef 3:28</ref> | # A couch which isn't exclusively used by her, the husband may lie on it even in front of his wife.<ref> Badei Hashulchan 195:80, Taharat Yosef 3:22 </ref> The husband can sit in a chair, even if it is special for her even if it is a reclining chair in which she takes naps.<ref> Beer Moshe 5:144, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 135, Taharat Yosef 3:28</ref> | ||
# If his wife is out of town for a few days when she is a nidda the husband may lie in her bed.<ref> Badei Hashulchan 195:77, Taharat Yosef 3:25</ref> | # If his wife is out of town for a few days when she is a nidda the husband may lie in her bed.<ref> Pitchei Teshuva 195:9, Badei Hashulchan 195:77, Taharat Yosef 3:25</ref> | ||
# When the wife is a nidda, the husband shouldn't use pillows or blankets that are used exclusively by her.<ref> Badei Hashulchan 195:82, Taharat Yosef 3:23</ref> If they regularly switch sheets after they are washed and they aren't exclusive to the man or woman, it is permissible to put her sheets on his bed when she is a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:82</ref> | # When the wife is a nidda, the husband shouldn't use pillows or blankets that are used exclusively by her.<ref> Badei Hashulchan 195:82, Taharat Yosef 3:23</ref> If they regularly switch sheets after they are washed and they aren't exclusive to the man or woman, it is permissible to put her sheets on his bed when she is a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:82</ref> | ||
# It is forbidden for a man and wife to switch beds when she is a niddah. However, they can switch when she is tahor and as long as he slept in his new bed once before she became a niddah he can continue to sleep there even when she's a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:81</ref> | # It is forbidden for a man and wife to switch beds when she is a niddah. However, they can switch when she is tahor and as long as he slept in his new bed once before she became a niddah he can continue to sleep there even when she's a niddah.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:81</ref> | ||
==Separate Beds== | |||
# The couple may not lie together in one bed, even if it is large and wide.<Ref>Gemara Shabbat 13a concludes that it is forbidden for a man and wife to sleep in the same bed when she is a niddah. Shulchan Aruch 195:6 codifies this. Taharat Yosef 3:2 agrees.</ref> Even when they are in different beds the beds must be separated.<ref>Rama YD 195:6</ref> How far apart should the beds be? According to the strict halacha it is sufficient as long as they are separated in any amount as long as the sheets and blankets don't touch, however, the poskim recommend that the beds should be separated two feet.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 195:11 quotes the Mekor Chaim who says that the beds need to be separated by any amount. Rav Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 149 agreed. Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2 quotes the Arizal as saying that the beds needs to be separated so that the sheets and blankets don't touch. In terms of the amount of space he writes that it should be at least the width of a person and preferably an amah (60cm) so that they don't come to touch and the blankets don't come to touch. Shiurei Shevet Halevi adds that the minhag is to put something in between the beds. Mishmeret Hatahara 195:87 writes that the beds should be separated the amount of a person's reach so that they don't come to touch. Badei Hashulchan 195:109 and Rabbi Willig ([http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/877217/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-126-harchakot-sitting-on-same-bench-taking-trip-together-separation-between-beds-singing-what-she-can-wear-in-private/ Niddah Shiur 126 (min. 45)]) agreed.</ref> | |||
# According to many poskim it is permissible for the beds to be separated even if they are attached by a headboard, however, some hold that it isn't reccomended and some hold it is forbidden unless the headboard is just next to the beds but not attached.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara 195:87 writes that it is permissible for the beds to be attached with a headboard. Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2 writes that it isn't recommended unless they are actually detached from the headboard. Badei Hashulchan 195:107 writes that if the headboard is attached to the beds it is forbidden.</ref> | |||
# The beds can be touching if both of them are not in bed.<Ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 155, Taharat Yosef 3:33</ref> | |||
# They must use separate blankets.<ref>Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 154, Taharat Yosef 3:5</ref> | |||
# Some poskim hold that it is permitted for them to sleep in separated beds under one canopy<ref>Maharam Elshakar 91 writes it is permitted for a couple to sleep under one canopy even when she's a niddah based on Eruvin 63b. Shach 195:11 quotes this. Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 154 accepts the Maharam Elshakar and says that it would apply to a canopy that was attached to the beds as long as the beds were separated.</ref>, while others hold that it is forbidden.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:108 explains that the Maharam Elshakar was only talking about a canopy that wasn't attached to the beds but if it was attached it is forbidden.</ref> | |||
# It is permissible for him to touch his wife's bed unless she's in it, in which case one should refrain from touching it unless there's a need.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:78</ref> | # It is permissible for him to touch his wife's bed unless she's in it, in which case one should refrain from touching it unless there's a need.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:78</ref> | ||
