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Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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==Basic | ==Basic Laws== | ||
# A man is required to separate from his wife during the time she is a niddah until she has a hefsek taharah, counts seven clean days and dips in a kosher mikveh. <Ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:1 </ref> | # A man is required to separate from his wife during the time she is a niddah until she has a hefsek taharah, counts seven clean days and dips in a kosher mikveh. <Ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:1 </ref> | ||
# This prohibition remains even if many years have passed since she became a niddah. It remains until she has a hefsek taharah, counts seven clean days, and dips in a kosher mikveh. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:2</ref> | # This prohibition remains even if many years have passed since she became a niddah. It remains until she has a hefsek taharah, counts seven clean days, and dips in a kosher mikveh. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:2</ref> | ||
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==Intimate Speech== | ==Intimate Speech== | ||
# One should be careful not to act in an overly frivolous and light-headed manner when his wife is a niddah, nor should they speak of intimate matters, in order that they not come to transgress. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 96-97</ref> | # One should be careful not to act in an overly frivolous and light-headed manner when his wife is a niddah, nor should they speak of intimate matters, in order that they not come to transgress. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 96-97</ref> | ||
==Seclusion== | ==Seclusion== | ||
# A man is permitted to be alone ([[yichud]]) in a room or house with his wife when she is a niddah. However, a man may not have [[yichud]] with any other woman, married or single.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:4 </ref> | # A man is permitted to be alone ([[yichud]]) in a room or house with his wife when she is a niddah. However, a man may not have [[yichud]] with any other woman, married or single.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:4 </ref> | ||
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==Using the Same Utensils== | ==Using the Same Utensils== | ||
===Eating from Same Utensils=== | |||
# It is forbidden for husband and wife to eat from the same plate or bowl.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:6:1 </ref> | |||
# Regarding eating from the same serving plate: if it is a food that one places the food on his own plate before eating (such as rice, meat, or salad), it would be permissible. If one puts the food directly into his mouth from the serving plate (such as nuts, seeds etc.), it would be forbidden to share that. <ref> Taharat Yosef 3:18</ref> | |||
===Eating at the Table Together=== | |||
# The husband and wife may eat on the same table if they make a sign between them to remind them to avoid contact. They should place an item that normally isn't on the table between the two of them. <ref> Taharat Yosef 3:16:2 </ref> Additionally, they can sit in different seats than they normally would, use separate placemats, or sit far enough from each other.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:16:3 </ref> | |||
# The prohibition to eat together on the same table doesn't apply if there are others eating with them, even without a sign to remind them.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:17 </ref> However, the prohibition to eat from the same plate still applies.<Ref> Taharat Yosef 3:18 </ref> | |||
===Eating Each Other's Leftovers=== | |||
# A husband cannot drink the leftovers of his wife's drink in front of her as this is considered a sign of closeness.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19 </ref> This is one directional, meaning the husband cannot drink from what remains in the wife's cup, but the wife is permitted to drink from what her husband leaves over</ref> Taharat Yosef 3:20 </ref> | |||
# The following are exceptions to this rule: | |||
## If the drink is poured into another cup it would be permissible.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:1 </ref> | |||
## If they filled the cup with more of the drink it would be permissible.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:2 </ref> | |||
## If someone else drank from the cup after his wife, the husband may drink.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:3 </ref> | |||
## If the wife drank from it but not in front of the husband, and the husband knows that she drank from it, one who is lenient has on whom to rely, but blessing will come to one who is strict.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:4</ref> | |||
## If the husband doesn't know that his wife drank from it, he doesn't need to be told.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:5 </ref> | |||
## If the wife leaves the room, the husband can drink what remains in the cup since he is not drinking in front of her. <ref> Taharat Yosef 3:19:6 </ref> | |||
# For sephardim, this prohibition only applies to drink and not food.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:21 </ref> Ashkenazim however, are strict for food as well.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:21 </ref> Even for ashkenazim, if the wife simply tasted the food like for Shabbat, the remaining food would not be called leftovers.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:21 </ref> | |||
===Other Items=== | |||
# A man is permitted to dry his face and hands with his wife's towel when she is a niddah. He also may use her toothbrush. There is no need to set aside a toothbrush or towel for her exclusive use when she is a niddah. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 98, Taharat Yosef 3:6</ref> | # A man is permitted to dry his face and hands with his wife's towel when she is a niddah. He also may use her toothbrush. There is no need to set aside a toothbrush or towel for her exclusive use when she is a niddah. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 98, Taharat Yosef 3:6</ref> | ||
# The couple may stand an umbrella together, as long as the umbrella is big enough to allow them both to be under it without touching. <ref> Taharat Yosef 3:11 </ref> | |||
# A couple may read from the same book as long as they are careful not to touch each other.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:14</ref> | |||
==Sitting Together== | |||
# The husband may not sit on his wife's bed when she is a nidda, whether she is present or not, even if the linens have been changed to new ones. However, if it is a couch, where it is not used exclusively by her, the husband may lie on it even in front of his wife.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:22 </ref> The wife may lie on her husband's bed as long as he isn't there, and may sit on his bed even if he is there<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:24</ref> | |||
# This is only about her bed. But the husband can sit in a chair, even if it is special for her even if it is a reclining chair.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:28</ref> | |||
# If his wife is out of town when she is a nidda, the husband may lie in her bed.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:25</ref> | |||
# When the wife is a nidda, the husband shouldn't use pillows or blankets that are used exclusively by her.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:23</ref> | |||
# The couple may not lie together in one bed, even if it is large and wide. Even when they are on different beds, the beds should be separated. <Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:2</ref> This only applies if they are both in their beds.<Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:33</ref> | |||
# They should also use separate blankets, even when the beds are separate.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:5</ref> | |||
===Traveling=== | |||
# A couple may travel together in a private car or by public transportation, even when they sit next to each other as long as they are careful not to touch each other or each other's clothing.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:30</ref> However, some ashkenazim are strict unless the traveling is for a mitzva.<Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:30</ref> If the couple is using public transportation and they want to sit next to each other, he should sit on the outside and she should be near the window because he can be more careful and they should preferably place an item between them since it is difficult to otherwise avoid contact.<ref> <Ref>Taharat Yosef 3:31</ref> | |||
==Passing Items when a Woman is Niddah== | ==Passing Items when a Woman is Niddah== | ||
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# It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | # It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other. <ref> Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | ||
==Expressing Affection== | |||
# A husband may send jewelry or gifts to his wife or send her flowers when she is a Niddah as long as he isn't too effusive with his love for her lest they be drawn to do something prohibited.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:13 </ref> | |||
==Acts of Service== | |||
# A husband may not cover his wife with a blanket when she is a nidda.<ref> Taharat Yosef 3:26 </ref> | |||
==Links== | ==Links== | ||
* [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/750254/rabbi-zvi-sobolofsky/hilchas-niddah-part-27-harchakos-passing-items-beds-eating-together-/ Harchakos Passing Items, Beds, Eating together] by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky | * [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/750254/rabbi-zvi-sobolofsky/hilchas-niddah-part-27-harchakos-passing-items-beds-eating-together-/ Harchakos Passing Items, Beds, Eating together] by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky | ||
