Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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#During this period, a couple must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or light-headedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that this only refers to intimate speech. What is construed as regular conversation between adults is permitted. | #During this period, a couple must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or light-headedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that this only refers to intimate speech. What is construed as regular conversation between adults is permitted. | ||
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# | #Likewise, a husband may - and should - praise and complement his wife on her dress, cooking, skill or the like during this period, this is not considered intimate speech.<ref>Responsa Be'er Moshe (Vol. 3, No. 155). See The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 39 with footnote 65) who exemplifies statements included in this category: "The food tastes great" or "This dress looks very nice on you". </ref> The same applies to speech normally used to cultivate a pleasant atmosphere at home.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Niddah 33:4) quoting Chazon Ish </ref> | ||
#Buying a gift for one another during this time is permitted. This also includes a husband buying flowers for his wife on Erev Shabbat or on the occasion of her birthday. All this is provided these presents not lead them to act intimate or touch.<ref>Responsa Shevet Halevi (vol. 5, no. 115-116), Tahrat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 109)</ref> | #Buying a gift for one another during this time is permitted. This also includes a husband buying flowers for his wife on Erev Shabbat or on the occasion of her birthday. All this is provided these presents not lead them to act intimate or touch.<ref>Responsa Shevet Halevi (vol. 5, no. 115-116), Tahrat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 109)</ref> | ||
#Reading a book together is permitted, provided that they are cautious not to touch one another.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 108)</ref> | #Reading a book together is permitted, provided that they are cautious not to touch one another.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 108)</ref> | ||
#There is a dispute between the authorities in regards to a couple playing board games together during this period. Leniency is understandably provided that they do not come to lighthearted or physical behavior.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (vol. 2, pg. 264) quoting Rabbi Elyashiv forbidding. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) argues and permits this. See also Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 123) who writes that the custom is to permit this. He does however recommend various precautions to take during various recreational play.</ref> | #There is a dispute between the authorities in regards to a couple playing board games together during this period. Leniency is understandably provided that they do not come to lighthearted or physical behavior.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (vol. 2, pg. 264) quoting Rabbi Elyashiv forbidding. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) argues and permits this. See also Responsa Be'er Moshe (vol. 3, no. 123) who writes that the custom is to permit this. He does however recommend various precautions to take during various recreational play.</ref> | ||
